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Volcano
By: Jimmy Buffet
Now, I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go
when the volcano blow.
Let me say it now,
I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go
when the volcano blow.
Ground, she movin' under me.
Tidal waves out on the sea.
Sulphur smoke up in the sky.
Pretty soon we learn to fly
Chorus
Let me hear you, now
I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go
when the volcano blow.
Let me hear you now.
I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go
when the volcano blow.
My girl quickly say to me,
"Mon you better watch your feet."
Lava come down soft and hot.
"You better lava me now or lava me not.
Chorus
No time to count what I'm worth,
cause I just left the planet Earth.
Where I go I hope there's rhum.
Not to worry mon soon come.
Chorus
But I don't want to land in New York City,
I don't want to land in Mexico.
I don't want to land on no Three Mile Island;
I don't want to see my skin a-glow.
Don't want to land in Comanche Sky Park,
or in Nashville, Tennessee.
I don't want to land in no San Juan airport or
the Yukon Territory.
Don't want to land no San Diego.
Don't want to land in no Buzzards Bay.
I don't want to land on no Ayatolla.
I got nothin' more to say.
Chorus
Let me hear you, now
I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go
when the volcano blow.
Let me hear you now.
I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go
when the volcano blow.
Cheeseburger In Paradise
By: Jimmy Buffett
1978
------------------------------------------------------------
Tried to amend my carnivorous habits
Made it nearly seventy days
Losin' weight without speed, eatin' sunflower seeds
Drinkin' lots of carrot juice and soakin' up rays
But at night I'd had these wonderful dreams
Some kind of sensuous treat
Not zuchinni, fettucini or bulghar wheat
But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat
Chorus:
Cheeseburger in paradise (paradise)
Heaven on earth with an onion slice (paradise)
Not too particular not too precise (paradise)
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise
Heard about the old time sailor men
They eat the same thing again and again
Warm beer and bread they said could raise the dead
Well it reminds me of the menu at a Holiday Inn
Times have changed for sailors these days
When I'm in port I get what I need
Not just Havanas or bananas or daiquiris
But that American creation on which I feed
Chorus:
Cheeseburger in paradise (paradise)
Medium rare with mustard 'be nice (paradise)
Heaven on earth with an onion slice (paradise)
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise
I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well good God Almighty which way do I steer for my
Chorus:
Cheeseburger in paradise (paradise)
Makin' the best of every virtue and vice (paradise)
Worth every damn bit of sacrifice (paradise)
To get a cheeseburger in paradise
To be a cheeseburger in paradise
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise
Coda:
I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well good God Almighty which way do I steer for my
Just a little Humor Furry Style. For I have scoured the web long and hard for this stuff. And want to thank everyone who did it
You know that Your Cat has "Dipped the 'Nip" a little Too Much when...-by BAR-1
10. He replaces the cat-door with a small bead curtain.
9. He begins printing communist literature: "Kittens of the World Unite!"
8. He purrs, then clutches the ground screaming "Holy $#!+, it's an EARTHQUAKE!!"
7. He begins playing the sitar, and marries Yoko Ono.
6. No longer averse to dogs. In fact, is now quite fond of Scooby Doo.
5. Still lands on his feet after a fall.... but now tends to stagger around and bump into things when on floor.
4. Uninterested in catching real mice, because he can't get a buzz off of them.
3. Previous finicky eating replaced by taste for nothing but brownies.
2. Converts his scratching post into giant bong....
and the nuber 1 way to tell when your Cat has a "Plush Mousie on his Back"....
1. Instead of knocking over Christmas Tree, your Cat tries to roll it into a joint!!
She Thinks My Tractor's Yiffy!
Written by Cloudchaser Shaconage
Performed by Wild Animals, an all furry music group.
Drawings of Vixina, the Vixen in the song, can be seen here. (please be sure you read her bio that's linked to at the top of the page)
Sung to the tune of "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy!" by Kenny Chesney from his CD "Everywhere We Go"
Plowin' these fields in the hot summer sun
Over by the gate here comes my Vixina
With a basket full of chicken and a big cold jug of sweet tea
I make a little room and she climbs on up
Push forward on the throttle and stir a little dust
Just look at her face she ain't a foolin' me
CHORUS
She thinks my tractor's yiffy
It really floofs her tail
She's always starin' at me
While I'm chuggin' along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kinda crazy 'bout my red fur coat
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's yiffy
We ride back and forth 'til we run out of light
Take it to the barn put it up for the night
Climb up in the loft sit and talk with the radio on
She said she's got a dream and I asked what it is
She wants a little farm and a yard full of kits
One more teeny weeny ride before I take her home
REPEAT CHORUS
Though she's into hot rod cars and pickup trucks
If it runs like a Deere man her eyes light up
REPEAT CHORUS
She thinks my tractor's yiffy
She thinks my tractor's yiffy
Man, I Feel Like a Squirrel
Written by Andrew J. "Neuracnu Coyote" Chinnici
(sung to the tune of Shania Twain's "Man, I Feel Like a Woman")
Let's go, squirrels..
I'm climbing down my tree,
Into a menagerie
Of nature in it's purest form.
Give my tail a fluff,
And go climbin' lots o' stuff,
Searching high and low for acorns.
I've brushed up my teeth,
I've practiced my "meef",
I'm ready for a day on the town.
I've cleaned up my fur,
And made doubly sure,
That when I run I barely touch the ground.
Bridge:
The best thing about being a squirrel
Is the ability to run in front of cars and...
Chorus:
Wuh-uh-oh,
Stop and stare at you,
Then run right past you.
Grey fur,
Chitter & purr.
Ah wuh-uh-oh,
really go wild
yeah, keepin' nuts stockpiled
Wuh-uh-oh,
Climbin' up an ash
Diggin' through trash
Stuffin' my cheeks
Swingin' from trees,
Ah wuh-uh-oh,
I wanna be free
yeah, to live inside a tree.
Man! I feel like a squirrel!
True Fur
Written by John Hedgehog
(Sung To: "True Blue" by Madonna)
Hey,(What)Listen Here Furries
I've Other Furs
I've Yiffed into their eyes
But I never Knew Love To Another Fur Before
'Till You Walked into my Door
I've Furry Lips
I've went and they yiff me cause I'm so hip
But No Matter where I Went
You're The One For
Baby this I know
Chorus:
'Cause It's True Furry love
You're The Furry I'm dreaming of
Your Heart fits me like my gloves
And I'm gonna to be a True Fur
Baby I love you
I've been heartbroken by humans every time
I've Cried oh so many times
Those Teardrops they won't fall again
I'm so excited 'cause your my best furry friend
So if you should ever doubt
Wonder What Furry Love is all about
Just Think back and remember dear
Those words I whispered in your ear
I said
True Furry Love
You're the Furry I'm dreaming of
Your Heart Fits me like my gloves
And I'm gonna be a True Fur
Baby I love You
(Repeat Till Fade)
Man! Ah Feel Lahke A Vixen!
Written by Cloudchaser Shaconage
Performed by Wild Animals, an all furry music group.
Drawings of Vixina, the Vixen in the song, can be seen here. (please be sure you read her bio that's linked to at the top of the page)
Sung by Vixina to the tune of "Man! I Feel Like a Woman!" by Shania Twain from her CD "Come On over"
Let's go!
Guitar!
Drums!
Ah'm goin' out tonight!
Ah'm feelin' allright!
Gonna let it all hang out!
Give mah tail a floof!
Make all mah worries go *poof!*
Ah'm searchin' high and low for fun!
Ah've brushed up mah tail!
Took care of mah mail!
Ah'm ready for a day on the town!
Ah've shampooed mah fur!
And made real sure!
That mah flirty look is at its best!
BRIDGE
The best thing about bein' a vixen!
Is the ability to drive males crazy!
CHORUS
Wuh-uh-oh!
Walk right past you!
Give you a smile!
Flirty yips!
Slim hips!
Wuh-uh-oh!
It drives 'em wild, yeah!
Their eyes poppin' outta their heads!
Wuh-uh-oh!
Walkin' down the street!
Flirtin' with males Ah meet!
Swingin' mah tail!
Perkin' mah ears!
Wuh-uh-oh!
I wanna be free, yeah!
Yeah, to be the fox Ah am!
Man! I feel lahke a vixen!
Hey!
Ah feel Ah need a break!
Tonight Ah'm gonna take!
The chance to go out lookin' for some fun!
Ain't lookin' for a yiff!
Males lahke that get me miffed!
Ah just wanna relax and have a good tahme!
REPEAT BRIDGE
REPEAT CHORUS
Hey!
Yip, yip!
Uh-huh!
Oh yeah!
REPEAT BRIDGE
REPEAT CHORUS
Uh-huh!
Oh yeah!
Get totally crazy!
Can you feel it?
Come on with me baby!
Hoo!
Hoo!
Hoo!
Ah feel lahke a vixen!
You Might Be a Furry If
by G. Raymond Eddy
with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy
you know by heart the definitions of the words plantigrade and digitigrade.
you can't go to bed without walking in several complete circles.
your idea of the perfect woman is four inches tall, with long blond hair, wearing lavender coveralls, and welder's goggles perched on her forehead.
after taking a bath, you cough up hairballs.
your Levi's 501 jeans have two button flies one in front and one in back.
you've actually used the word yiff in conversation.
you think Kimba is better than Simba.
you think a muzzleloader is some guy with an overeating problem.
you go to Major League Baseball games to cheer for the mascot.
the word morph doesn't necessarily describe what the Power
Rangers have to do to fight Lord Zed.
you see a shop with a sign outside that says "FURS", and
you go inside, looking for a date.
you can hear the word skiltaire, and not have to wonder if it's played with a 52-card deck.
you go to walk the dog and you get mixed up about which one of you is supposed to wear the collar and leash.
you have a stuffed fake fox tail anywhere in your house.
more than half the paintings you own are by Terrie Smith or Michelle Light.
someone asks for your I.D. and you invite him to sniff your fanny.
you like fast food, but not so fast that it can outrun you.
you bought Reader Rabbit software for your computer, but you don't have kids.
you use the animated movie Balto to connect a given movie star to Kevin Bacon.
you know more about animals than the zookeeper.
to you, Michael Dorn is not Lt. Worf. He is Weasel!!
you're a Stuart Little groupie.
you watch Austin Powers on TV and get mad because they ripped off the theme song to Funday Pawpet Theater.
you refer to pine martens as "jedds".
you can't hear the word random without spitting on the ground.
Jokes from Joe Ekaitis, creator of Thaddeus . . .
you apply for a job at Dick Simon Trucking, just so you can drive an 18-wheeler with a skunk on it.
you're fired from your job at Dick Simon Trucking for showing up in a skunk costume as the company's mascot, Sweet Simon.
you have spent more than 5 seconds wondering why Roger Rabbit wears pants but Bugs Bunny doesn't.
you just had to see if the Directory of AMA Physicians included listings for Doctor Doolittle and Doctor Moreau.
you're actually flattered when people ask "What kind of Mickey Mouse outfit are you running here?"
Subject: 16 signs your cat is plotting world domination
16. Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully reads the coded
message that Garfield sends out every day.
15. Used to sleep on top of TV, now monitors CNN 24 hours a day.
14. Notably absent from home during surprise feline invasion of Poland.
13. When you enter the room, Snowball and the other members of the
Tri-Cateral Commission stop talking and begin playing with yarn.
12. Behind the couch you find a forged passport, plane tickets, and nine
suicide bombs.
11. What you thought was "heat" is actually a four-legged goose step.
10. Well, *somebody* subscribed to alt.cats.world.domination.
9. Autopsy of the last mouse left on your doormat reveals "tattoo"
to be
blueprint of the UN Building.
8. Constantly petting that bald man he keeps on his lap.
7. Kitty Chow spilled on the floor spells out "Drop the car keys and
leave the door open or the dog gets it in the head."
6. Then -- dead mice in the kitchen.Now -- dead third world dictators in
the basement.
5. Judging from the kitchen, he seems to be working on some kind of
"land mine" technology.
4. Fluffy is now sleeping only 21 hours a day, down from 23.
3. Has recently been acting somewhat... aloof.
2. What your cat lacks in charisma and good looks, he makes up for with
his ruthless handling of rival software companies.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Cat is Plotting World Domination...
1. Somehow, you're now subscribed to "Pussy of Fortune" magazine.
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was ...Hmmm... Not working according to plan...
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. -Anonymous
THINGS YOUR DOG WOULD SAY IF IT COULD TALK:
"But it SMELLS like food."
"The cat did it.
"What say we all drive down to Petsmart? "
"Tell me about this 'heat' thing."
"Mind if I sit there?"
"You gonna eat ALL of that?"
"Smell? I don't smell anything."
"Think I could see a menu?"
"FETCH THIS!"
"Next time, I pick the bitch!"
"This isn't a mess, it's Ambience."
and the number one thing your dog would say...
"YOU"RE GOING TO CUT OFF MY WHAT??!!"
-Anonymous
Dear God,
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?
Dear God,
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Dear God,
Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle!
Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God,
When my foster mom's friend comes over to our house, he smells like musk! What's he been rolling around in?
Dear God,
Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?
Dear God,
If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?
Dear God,
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God,
Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street.
Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God,
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets again?
Dear God,
When my family eats dinner they always bless their food. But they never bless mine. So, I've been wagging my tail extra fast when they fill my bowl. Have you noticed my own blessing?
Dear God,
I've always lived at the shelter and I have everything I need. But many of the cats here have names and I don't. Could you give me a name please? It would be good for my self-esteem.
Dear God,
The new terrier I live with just peed on the Oriental rug and I have a feeling my family might blame me 'cuz they think I'm jealous of this stupid dog. Since they have no sense of smell, how can I convince them I'm innocent? Does PetsMart sell lie detectors?
Submitted Anonymously
What is a dog?
- Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
- They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but they don't hear you when you are in the same room.
- They growl when they are not happy.
- When you want to play, they want to play.
- When you want to be alone, they want to play.
- They are great at begging.
- They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
- They leave their toys everywhere.
- They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
Conclusion: They are little men in fur coats.
-Anonymous
What is a cat?
- Cats do what they want.
- They rarely listen to you.
- They are totally unpredictable.
- When you want to play, they want to be alone.
- When you want to be alone, they want to play.
- They expect you to cater to their every whim.
- They are moody.
- They leave hair everywhere.
- They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.
Conclusion: They are tiny women in fur coats.
-Anonymous
HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
Beagle: "I'm tangled in this blanket, and I like the dark."
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!
Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!
Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . .
Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
-Anonymous
. After dark, all cats are jaguars.
2. Never * ever* try to baptize a cat.
3. Cats are smarter than dogs. You cannot get a cat to pull a sled.
4. A cat knows your every thought. It doesn't care. But it knows.
5. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I will put shoes on my cat ...
6. Most people with cats, know they are being controlled. That's the horror of it ...
7. Never try to out stubborn a cat.
8. Thousands of years ago ,humans worshiped the cat. They have not forgotten this . . .
9. Whenever I bathe my cat, it takes an hour to get the fur off of my tongue.
10. I prefer to live with Feline Sapiens, thank you very much.
11. (picture of a fat tabby on a couch , looking at his owner) "My species domesticated your species... "
If you feed a dog, they will look at you and think, "YOU are MY God!"
If you feed a cat, they will look at you and think, "I am a GOD."
You might be a furry if
you sing Flying Dreams in the shower.
you have a life sized Brisby plushie
you've seen 'The Secret Of Nimh' more often than you've had a birthday.
you've won more than 3 consecutive 'Name Mrs. Brisby' contests, with different names.
you have dreams about finding a digitally remastered, widescreen copy of 'The Secret of Nimh'.
you keep a female field mouse in a birdcage as a pet.
you have the unabridged script to 'The Secret Of Nimh' posted on your living room wall.
you warm up your instrument with the first bars of 'flying dreams'.
you use 'The Secret Of Nimh' to connect a star to Kevin Bacon.
the alpha male of your family pack recorded your copy of "The Secret Of Nimh"
you don't know who directed 'Star Wars', but have a signed picture of Don Bluth.
you made a flight sim mod that simulates a mouse riding a crow.
you know what the she-ra reference is in "The Secret Of Nimh". (if you do, e-mail me!)
you can recite the entire script to "The Secret of Nimh", not just line by line, but frame by frame.
you have nightmares about Nimh 3
you've organized a public recital of "Goodbye may seem forever"
you know what model and year Slade's car was.
you have one.
you can list at least 50 differences between Big Mama and 'Bambi's Owl.
you like the name Cadpig, even though it's tough to rhyme.
you have done extensive reasearch and much theorizing as to the origin of the name 'Cadpig'.
you have ever said 'This tastes like Spot.'
you think 'getting lucky' means aquiring a dalmation plushie.
you have a videocassette entitled 'the best of Cadpig'
the best philosophy teacher you've ever had was Cadpig (maybe this category should be called 'Cadpig')
you know the other movie that Jock and Peggy were in
you wear a fursuit in the shower
you don't recognize yourself in the mirror without your fursuit on.
you spend more on Halloween than on Christmas.
you feel naked without a collar.
you wear a tail *under* your pants.
you pretend to be a Goth so people will stop asking you about your collar.
you don't have to remove your fursuit to use the restroom.
you wear a mask more often than shoes.
you judge a ball game by the performance of the mascots.
you've ever put flea-killers on your fursuit.
you've ever made an ad hoc tail. (or a disposable tail, for that matter.)
you grow your hair long enough to form an ad hoc tail
you wore a tail to your wedding.
you only wear a fursuit on days ending in 'y'.
you have collars, but your dogs don't.
your closest friends fail to recognize you when you aren't wearing your fursuit.
your fursuit is worth more than your car.
you keep a rabies tag on your keychain.
ALL of your pants have tailsleeves.
your fursuit has a better air conditioner than your house.
a cop asks for your license and registration, and you show him the rabies tag on your keychain.
you get no trick-or-treaters at Halloween because your werewolf costume is too realistic.
you've ever been rollerblading dressed as a polar bear
you watch Tiny Toons like most people watch Baywatch.
you look at Fifi La Fume like most guys look at Jennifer Anniston.
you've developed a nervous tic that manifests when you see popeye on Acme Hour.
you can't say why, but you're sure that Jar Jar Binks is Furry.
you can't decide who the best Star Wars character is: Chewbacca or that Ewok
your opinion or your enlish teacher shot up several notches when you found out she liked 'The Land Before Time'
you have a strong oppinion wether or not 'The Land Before Time' is furry
you've ever bought a 'Mint Condtion' McDonalds Toy on e-bay
you have a nonmorphic lion model for quake deathmatches
you have been to more that 11 ConFurences.
you have an 'authentic' replica of a Freelands coin.
you became uncontrollably violent when you discovered that Bobby's World pre-empted 101 Dalmatian's 6:30 am time slot.
you go 30 minutes out of your way to see the sign for Wolf's Gym.
nothing escapes your attention at a ConFurence, except sleep and nutrition.
you have ever spent more than 40 hours straight on FurryMUCK.
you use FurryMUCK as a night-light.
you've written furry music.
you visit this page more often than your favorite search engine.
the making of your Jack-O-Lantern involved painting a cucumber orange.
you can correctly pronounce houghnhnm.
you modeled the pattern on your jack-o-lantern after Kevin Dewclaw.
you've written a thesis comparing Disney's and Warner Brothers' styles of animation and characterization.
people think you're a miser until they see your furry collection.
your best friends' names are "Orange Fox" and "Kitsume" and none of you are either Native American or Japanese.
you know what a Kitsume is, and why it is important for them to have lots of tails.
you can post to a.f.f. without using your hands.
you intentionally avoid washing your car so that you can write 'Yiff' in the dust.
your Darth Vader mask has an enlogated muzzle.
you keep trying to submit your website to www.dogpile.com itself.
you've succeeded in submitting your website to www.dogpile.com itself.
you gaze longingly at cereal boxes that you have no intention of buying
you have more than $20 riding on the Budweiser iguanas
you spent $15 to get an Easter basket package that included a 5-cent cardboard bunny mask.
you absolutely require 14 hours of sleep during the day, then only want to eat or go outside at night.
you model your hair after Lindesfarne, Ozzymandius, or Daffy.
you are quite sure that the voices in your head are anthropomorphic
you quote Boojum during nonfurry TS
you think nonfurry TS is an oxymoron
you schedule your yearly physical with a vet.
you think the key to a good relationship has something to do with scents.
you've had hair transplants FROM your scalp.
you think licking someone's hair is a socially acceptable way of showing affection.
'Wolfe' was the last name of the only person you've ever seriously dated.
you model your fingernails after your avatar's claws.
you thing shaving is masochistic.
you understand the finer points of the philosophical differences between ALF and AFF.
you judge the value of a day not by the quality of the TV shows, or the relative location to Friday, but by the average number of postings to a.l.f. and a.f.f.
you know how to raise your hackles
your idea of a TV dinner is a heaping bowl of kibble.
the tip of your red ponytail is died black or white
you refer to seasons by the amount of fur you have, loose, or gain.
you've ever given yourself a headache by drying you hair.
you use milkbones in leu of toothbrushes
you can't determine someone's gender wile upwind of them.
you think the best way to 'mark your territory' at the office is the old-fashioned one.
you Yiff* at football games.
you go for that reeeeeeally Mediterranean look
your normal overnight luggage includes kitty litter, cat food, flea bath, cat toys, and no cat
you've started taping the audio to Newsradio
you can't decide between Trix and Frosted Flakes for breakfast
you take preventative medicine for heartworms.
you believe in love at first scent.
you loved 'Godzilla' because you thought he was an anthropomorphic lizard.
you loved Godzilla because it starred the voice of Simba.
you hated Godzilla because it starred the voice of Simba.
you started eating at Taco Bell solely because of that little dog.
you have more Taco Bell collector's cups than coffee mugs.
you wish you were a Taco Bell Mexican Pizza.
you have been forced to discover 101 uses for the Taco Bell combo cup.
you've tried to cash in on the 'Free dog with every purchase' offer
you subscribed to cable, just in case
you'll take any excuse to go to Wal-Mart and see the Back to School ads featuring Lola Bunny.
you create a newsgroup to debate about who is more attractive, Lola Bunny or Minerva Mink
you don't know what Cindy Crawford looks like, but could draw Lola Bunny in your sleep.
you give out anatomically correct Easter bunnies
you've ever had a funeral for a plushie.
you buy Plushies more often than gas.
you're a bachelor with more Plushies than your eight-year-old niece.
you own a life sized, homemade Plushie from the movie 'Balto'
you've ever spent more than $100 trying to win that Plushie at the town fair.
your teddy bear is bigger than your bed.
your pets are more exotic than your spices.
your pets are all toilet trained, but you still have to empty the litterbox every day.
you have collars, but your dogs don't.
you keep a female field mouse in a birdcage as a pet.
you pronounce 'Jiffy' 'Yiffy'
you keep misspelling 'scentence'
you've ever had to explain to a mundane what a mundane is
you know the difference between a kitsune and a kitsume
someone mentions being in the 'slammer', and you think they mean a pound.
you quote Boojum in everyday conversation.
you quote Boojum during Quake Deathmatches
you speak in Furry Code.
you use more than 100 words to describe what a Fauve is.
you can spell 'digitigrade', but not 'ankle'.
you think Bambi had a great rack
you watch more cartoons than your 8-year-old grandson does.
you have recurring dreams about Frosted Flakes commercials
you taped your fourth copy of 'Babe' over your only copy of 'Braveheart'.
you've ever paid more than $100 for a tape of an animated feature.
you think George Lucas's best work was 'Howard the Duck'.
you know the lyrics to "Use Advantage," but not to "Rockin' Robin"
you bought a CD writer to record the opening songs of your favorite furry shows.
you tape furry commercials.
you tape The Quack Pack while you are at work, then don't have the heart to tape over them after you watch it.
you have a videocassette entitled 'the best of M'ress'
you know every one of "the Tramp's" names
you have a chronic, irrational fear of dip.
you would have to guess at the color of Aladdin's hair, but know how many stripes Raja had
you can name 14 things wrong with the Kilrathi from the Wing Commander movie
you go thru shampoo like a 747 goes thru fuel (or motor oil)
you buy adobe photoshop pro just to color one furry pic.
you watch pet food commertial like most guvs watch womens shampoo commertials
you have a band of untanned skin around your neck
You might be a furry if:
you think your foreign language dictionary is useless because it doesn't have a name for your animal in it.
you think the oxford english dictionary is useless because it doesn't have definitions for "yiff" and "spooge".
you wrote a paper on the superiority of animals over humans as your college thesis.
you wrote a starcraft modifier that allows you to play as an anthro animal (True! The piffles are coming)
you hate Sonic, but buy the comics because you think the femmes are yiffy.
you sniff your I/O port whenever you meet a friend on furrymuck.
you only read furry comics,declaring all the others as "full of hairless trash."
you created an egroup just for the purpose of making furry comics/games. (www.egroups.com/group/thefuzzypen -no one will be rejected!)
you have tried to overrun the FHA with your bad jokes!
you know you're a fanboy when...
You bought a WWII dive-bomber for $40,000 just because of the nose-art of the busty, nude skunkette straddling a torpedo.
You bought a terabyte hard drive just to hold your yiffy art gallery.
...Twice.
....And you need a third.
Two jobs, 10,000 shares of Microsoft stock, and the 1999 Georgia lottery winnings can't feed your appetite fast enough in the "Adult Art" sections of cons.
When you printed our a hard copy of your yiffy gallery, the national paper supply dropped by 30%.
...And you went through 4 laser printers and 30,000 ink cartridges.
...And it took two years.
You spent 5 years in college just to learn enough to find out whether you had a better chance of finding furries in space or cloning them.
...You put $5-mil in each option, just in case.
you might be a furry if...
You watched every darn episode of Tenchi Muyo, just to be dissapointed when Ryo-oki didn't "Go Anthro".
You watch Dragon Ball Z just because some of the extras are furries.
You turned on DBZ right after reading the above line.
When you hear the "Pussycat, pussycat, I love you" song, you get a COMPLETELY different image in your head than everyone else.
You know that ANY movie becomes cooler when furries are the stars, right?
You are spending every spare moment of your time making a computer animated movie that stars furries, despite the fact you're going against company regulations by using their computers.
You only buy from companies that have names like Fox or Jhon Deere.
You draw ears, whiskers and a tail on every picture you have of yourself that doesn't show you in a fursuit.
You tried to draw ears, whiskers and tails on all the actors on tv. But they moved around, and you grabbed a permanent marker.
...But you still think it looks better.
You make it to every con. Without getting out of your fursuit. Of course, you never get out of your car either.
You have done extensive research on "the Werefolf Gene" (causes every surface of your epidermis to sprout thick, wolf-like hair) and you can't understand why life was so cruel as to not let you have it.
...You started researching like crazy after reading the above line.
Signs you were destined to be furry as a child:
Disney's Robin Hood was your favorite movie (and it still is!)
YOU never asked how the animals in Loony Tunes developed the abilty to talk...you thought that was the natural way!
You watched nature programs...over and over and over.
You watched a nature program about foxes in third grade...the same time at which the word "yiff" entered your vocabulary!
You read ALL the readwall books.
Then memorized them.
Then started QUOTING martin.
I'm not even going to mention the nasty incident with Scotland Yard and Brian Jaques' home residence...the 30 food shrine made of plushies was a nice touch though...
You spent all your allowence money on plushies...which is odd, since you are male...
You got "The Talk" after the thing with the plushies...
You kept talking about rabbits and foxes during the whole "talk"...and seemed to know more about it than your dad...
You played the Big Bad Wolf in ALL the school plays...despite the fact you usually ruined the play by attackign the audience...
And then there was the time you decided to play "The Big Yiffy Fox"
You mistook The Lion King for one of your favorite nature programs...multiple times...
Whenever the wolf of the fox was killed in one of those old Looney Tunes, you turned off the TV and couldn't sleep all night!
Then there was that whole thing where you attacked warner borhters for showing something that was so cruel to the good animals in the world and so generous to useless farm animals...not like you don't like them too!
Minerva was your first girlfriend.
followed by Lola and when no one was looking, Omaha.
You wrote the 18 statements above.
You actually read this.
Sniff...thank you! No one ever reads my jokes!
No, really! I mean I'm not exactly talented and all...
Yeah yeah...I really do need a hobby. Say didn't you have to go somewhere?
No? Well ok then...stay put, I'm going to recite the furry FAQ from memory! It's my holy text ya know!
I know all the versions! I think...Lesse...Ummm "What Is A Furry?" A Furry is a...wait which version am I reciting again?
Ok then let's see YOU do this!
I'm a WHAT???
Oh so THAT"S the way it is! Running away eh? Come back here! The "Bad Comedian" always triumphs!
You might be a furry if:
you find yourself singing the hampster dance tune... (some of us have gone as far as burning it on cdr's :))
your teacher looks at you when she mentions the behaviors of animals.
your class body refurs to you as an animal.
your teacher has to correct your spelling of 'for' because your spell checker keeps over looking the word 'fur'.
getting scratched behind your ear turns you on.
you like to watch Blues clues more than your sister.
you would rather piss on a tree or fire hydrant rather than in a toliet.
your family members disown you for finding holes in your plushies.
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