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SPACEBALLS
Once upon a time warp. . . .
In a galaxy very, very, very, very, far
away, there lived a ruthless race of beings known as . . . Spaceballs.
Chapter Eleven
The evil leaders of Planet Spaceball,
having foolishly spuandered their precious atmosphere, have devised a secret
plan to take every breath of air away from their peace-loving neighbor,
Planet Druidia.
Today is Princess Vespa's wedding day.
Unbeknownest to the princess, but knowest to us, danger lurks in the stars
above. . .
If you can read this, you don't need glasses.
EXT. SPACEBALL 1 - SPACE SPACEBALL 1 passes
by at a slow speed. It takes the ship about two minutes to pass. At the
end of the ship is a bumper sticker that says, "WE BRAKE FOR NOBODY."
INT. SPACEBALL 1 - SPACE SANDURZ is standing in
the front of the ship.
RICO Colonel Sandurz.
SANDURZ What is it, Sergeant Rico?
RICO You told me to let you know the moment Planet
Druidia was in sight, sir.
SANDURZ So.
RICO Planet Druidia is in sight, sir.
SANDURZ You're really a Spaceball. You know that,
don't you?
RICO Thanks, sir.
SANDURZ Have you notified Lord Helmet?
RICO Yes, sir. I took the liberty. He's on his
way.
VOICE (O.S.) Make way for Dark Helmet.
SANDURZ All rise in the presence of Dark Helmet.
. A door opens revealing DARK HELMET,
he resembles Darth Vader, walking toward camera. He stops in front of camera,
and is having trouble breathing with the mask down.
HELMET (pulls mask up) I can't breathe in this
thing.
SANDURZ We're approaching Planet Druidia, sir.
HELMET Good. I'll call Spaceball City, and notify
President Skroob immediately.
RICO I already called him, sir. He knows everything.
HELMET What? You went over my helmet?
RICO Well, not exactly over it, sir. More on the
side. I'll always call you first. It'll never happen again. Never, ever!
HELMET (puts on Schwartz ring)
RICO Oh shit! No, no, no, no, no, please, no,
no, please, no, not that. (covers his neck)
HELMET (pulls mask down) Yes. That. (shoots a
green ray at Rico's crouch)
RICO Whaoooooooo! Owwwwwwwwww!
GUARDS take him away. HELMET Sandurz.
SANDURZ (covers his crouch) Sir?
HELMET I don't see Planet Druidia. Where is it?
SANDURZ We don't have visual contact yet, sir,
but we have it on the radar screen. Shall I punch it up for you?
HELMET Na, nevermind. I'll do it myself.
HELMET and SANDURZ walk to the radar screen. HELMET
stops in front of the coffee maker.
SANDURZ Very good, sir. HELMET What's the matter
with this thing? What's all that churning and bubbling? You call that a
radar screen. SANDURZ No, sir. We call it, "Mr. Coffee." (points
at label, "Mr. Coffee") Care for some?
HELMET Yes! I always have coffee when I watch
radar. You know that.
SANDURZ Of course I do, sir. HELMET Everybody
knows that.
EVERYBODY (covers their crouch) Of course we do,
sir.
HELMET (takes coffee) Now that I have my coffee,
I'm ready to watch radar. Where is it?
SANDURZ (points to label "Mr. Radar")
Right here, sir.
HELMET Switch to teleview.
RADAR changes to a picture of Planet Druidia.
HELMET There it is, Planet Druidia, and underneath
the air shield, ten thousand years of fresh air. We must get through that
air shield.
SANDURZ We will, sir. Once we kidnap the princess,
we will force her father, King Roland, to give us the combination to the
air shield. Thereby destroying Planet Druidia and saving Planet Spaceballs.
HELMET Everybody got that. Good! When will the
princess be married?
SANDURZ Within the hour, sir.
HELMET Well, I hope it's a long ceremony, 'cause
it's gonna be a short honeymoon. (takes a drink of coffee) Mmmmmmm, mmmmmm,
mmmmmm.
SANDURZ hits his back. HELMET spits out coffee
and his mask falls down. HELMET (mask down) Hot! Too hot!
PLANET DRUIDIA - EXT. CHAPLE - DAY Sign reads,
"Today, the Royal Wedding of Princess Vespa to Prince Valium. Tomorrow,
Bingo."
INT. CHAPLE - DAY The USHER is fixing something
on KING ROLAND'S outfit. PRINCESS VESPA is pacing.
ROLAND Oh, if only your mother were alive to see
this day. All right, is everyone ready?
USHER Yes, your majesty.
VESPA No! Where's my droid of honor?
USHER Oh dear, yes. Where's Dot? Dot? Dot Matrix?
Oh, thank god. Where've you been?
DOT Here I am. I'm sorry. I had to make a pit
stop. I'm so excited, I couldn't hold my oil.
USHER All right, people. It's magic time.
ROLAND All right, everyone, starting on the left
foot. (puts his right foot out)
VESPA Daddy that's your right foot.
ROLAND It's too late. Keep going.
They start walking down the aisle. The organ is
playing "Here Comes the Bride."
VESPA (stops) Daddy.
Organ player stops.
VESPA Must I go through with this.
ROLAND I'm sorry, my dear, you have to.
They start walking again. The organ starts up
again.
VESPA (stops) But, daddy.
Organ stops again.
VESPA I don't love him.
ROLAND I'm sorry, Vespa, he's the last prince
left in the galaxy.
VALIUM yawns. They reach the altar.
MINISTER Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
on this most joyous occasion, to witness Princess Vespa, daughter of King
Roland....
VESPA starts running toward the door, while Dot
is dragging behind.
MINISTER ....going right past the alter, heading
down the ramp, and out the door.
ROLAND Stop her! Someone, stop her! Stop her!
EXT. CHAPEL - DAY VESPA and DOT come out of the
chapel. They head for the getaway car.
DOT Hey wait! You forgot to get married. Will
you stop?
They get to the car. VESPA opens the door.
DOT What are you doing?
VESPA (starts to get in the getaway car) No questions,
Dot. Get in.
Car starts up, and the ramp starts to tilt upward.
Everyone else comes out of the chapel.
ROLAND What is she doing? Where is she going?
The car takes off toward space.
VALIUM Come baaaaack! (yawns while saying back)
INT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE The Eagle 5 is a Winnebago
with wings. BARF is eating ice cream and dancing to music. BARF is a mog.
He's half man, half dog. LONE STARR is at the wheel, asleep. LONE STARR
is drunk. He is a normal human. "AUTOMATIC PILOT" is flashing.
The phone starts ringing.
LONE STARR (wakes up) Barf. Barf. Barf!
BARF Huh?
LONE STARR(O.S) Barf!
BARF Always when I'm eating.
BARF puts down the ice cream, and picks up some
Milkbones.
LONE STARR Barf!
BARF What can I do you for, boss?
LONE STARR Where ya been?
BARF Oh, just grabbin' myself a snack. You want
some? (offers a Milkbone to Lone Starr)
LONE STARR No!
BARF C'mon. A little hair on the dot.
LONE STARR Answer that for me. Will ya?
BARF Ah, sure. (hits Lone Starr with his tail)
LONE STARR Will you watch that thing?
BARF Oh, sorry. I'll just put it on audio. That
way they won't see ya. (hits the video switch) Yello.
VINNIE appears on the screen. VINNIE is a half
robot, half man.
VINNIE Hello, Lone Starr.
BARF Sorry, wrong switch.
LONE STARR Hello, Vinnie, what do you want?
VINNIE No, no, no, no, no. It's not what I want.
It's what he wants.
BARF & LONE STARR Pizza the Hut.
PIZZA THE HUT is half man, half pizza.
PIZZA Well, if it isn't Lone Starr, and his side
kick, Puke.
BARF That's Barf.
PIZZA Barf, Puke, whatever. Where's my money?
LONE STARR Don't worry, Pizza. You'll have it
by next week.
PIZZA No, no. I gotta have it by tomorrow.
LONE STARR A hundred thousand spacebucks, by tomorrow?
PIZZA A hundred thousand? Ha, ha, ha. No way.
You forgot late charges, which brings it up to, um, one million spacebucks.
LONE STARR A million? That's unfair.
PIZZA Unfair to pay all, but enough to pay eee,
but you gonna pay it, or else.
BARF Or else what?
PIZZA Tell 'em, Vinnie.
VINNIE Or else Pizza is gonna send out for you.
VINNIE & PIZZA (laughs)
VINNIE takes a lick off of Pizza.
VINNIE Mmmm. You're delicious.
PIZZA Chow, boys.
INT. VESPA'S CAR - SPACE VESPA is listening to
music in headphones.
DOT Can we talk? Okay, we all know Prince Valium
is pilled, but you could've married him for your father's sake, and have
a headache for the next 25 years.
VESPA can't hear her.
DOT Will you turn that thing off.
VESPA What? (takes off the headphones) What is
it?
DOT I was saying, do realize what you've done.
VESPA Yes, and I'm glad. Glad, glad, glad, glad,
glad. (puts the headphones back on)
DOT I wonder if she's glad.
SPACEBALL CITY - INT. PRESIDENT SKROOB'S OFFICE
- NIGHT SKROOB is talking to someone on the phone.
SKROOB Don't be ridiculous. As president of Planet
Spaceball, I can assure both you and your viewers, that there is absolutely
no air shortage whatsoever. Yes, of course, I've heard the same rumor myself.
Thanks for calling, and not reversing the charges. Bye. (hangs up phone)
Shithead.
He opens a desk drawer. It has a lot of cans in
it. He takes one and opens it. The can says, "Perrier Salt-Free Air."
He starts breathing the air.
COMMANDERETTE (appears on the wall) President
Skroob.
SKROOB (throws can behind him and closes the drawer)
Yes.
COMMANDERETTE This is Central Control, Spaceball
Commanderette Zarican speaking, sir.
SKROOB Yes, what is it Commanderette?
COMMANDERETTE Lord Helmet has informed us that
Princess Vespa is in sight, and Spaceball 1 is closing in on her.
SKROOB Good, good.
COMMANDERETTE We have both ships coming up on
the teledar, sir, if you wish to observe.
SKROOB I'll be down immediately.
COMMANDERETTE Shall I have Snotty beam you down?
SKROOB I don't about that beaming stuff. Is it safe?
COMMANDERETTE Oh yes, sir. Snotty beamed me twice
last night. It was wonderful.
SKROOB All right, I take a shot at it. What the
hell, it works on Star Trek. (steps into the beaming pod)
COMMANDERETTE Snotty, beam him down.
SNOTTY (O.S.) Yes, sir. Immediately, sir.
SKROOB beams out of his office.
INT. CENTRAL CONTROL - NIGHT SKROOB reappears.
His head is on backwards.
VOICE(O.S.) Gees feesetes, what's happened to
his head?
COMMANDERETTE It's on backwards.
SKROOB This is terrible. Do something.
SNOTTY I'm sorry, sir. There must have been a
microconverter malfunction.
SKROOB (lifts up the tail on his suit) Why didn't
somebody tell me ass was so big.
Everyone else looks and snickers.
SNOTTY Hold on, sir. We'll try and reverse the
beam. Could be the interlocking system.
SKROOB scratches his leg.
SNOTTY (flipping switches) Lock 1, Lock 2, Lock
3, Lock lone.
SKROOB beams out.
INT. PRESIDENT SKROOB'S OFFICE - NIGHT SKROOB
reappears, back to normal. COMMANDERETTE appears on the wall.
COMMANDERETTE Are you all right, Mr. President.
SKROOB Fine, fine, no thanks to you.
COMMANDERETTE We'll beam you back, sir.
SKROOB Forget it. Forget it. No more beaming.
This time I'm gonna walk. (walks through the door)
INT. CENTRAL CONTROL - NIGHT
COMMANDERETTE President Skroob, Salute.
ALL (salute) Hail Skroob!
SKROOB salutes.
CHARLENE & MARLENE Hello, President Skroob.
SKROOB Oh, uh. Hello, Charlene.
MARLENE I'm Marlene.
SKROOB Hello, Marlene.
CHARLENE I'm Charlene.
SKROOB Chew your gum. Where's the Princess.
COMMANDERETTE Right there, sir. On the left side
of the screen of the screen, approaching Spaceball 1, at fifteen hundred
light leagues per minute.
SKROOB Good, good. She almost in our grasp. Tell
Dark Helmet he must take the Princess alive.
EXT. SPACEBALL 1 - SPACE In front of Spaceball
1 is Vespa's car.
INT. SPACEBALL 1 - SPACE SANDURZ and HELMET are
standing in the front.
SANDURZ Princess Vespa's spaceship within range,
sir.
HELMET (mask down) Good. Fire a warning shot across
her nose.
Guns start firing.
INT. VESPA'S CAR - SPACE VESPA takes off the headphones.
The car is shaking.
VESPA What's going on?
DOT It either the 4th of July, or someone trying
to kill us.
VESPA Hey! I don't have to put up with this. I'm
rich. (picks up phone)
DOT What you doing?
VESPA I'm calling my father. 1-800-DRUIDIA. (dials
the phone)
INT. SPACEBALL 1 - SPACE
HELMET (lifts up mask) Careful, you idiot. I said
across her nose, not up it.
GUNNER (lifts up eye guard) Sorry, sir. (he is
cross-eyed) Doing my best.
HELMET Who made that man a gunner?
MAJOR I did, sir. He's my cousin. (he is cross-eyed,
too)
HELMET Who is he?
SANDURZ He's an Asshole, sir.
HELMET I know that. What's his name?
SANDURZ That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major
Asshole.
HELMET And his cousin?
SANDURZ He's an Asshole, too, sir. Gunner's-mate,
1st Class, Philip Asshole.
HELMET How many Assholes we got on this ship,
anyhow?
All, but few, stand up.
ALL Yo!
HELMET I knew it. I'm surrounded by Assholes.
(pulls down mask) Keep firing, Assholes.
INT. VESPA'S CAR - CAR VESPA is on the phone.
VESPA Hurry, Daddy, hurry. They're laser blasts
all around us. I'm so scared.
EXT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE
ROLAND'S VOICE King Roland to Lone Starr. King
Roland to Lone Starr. Are you there?
INT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE LONE STARR and BARF are talking
to ROLAND on the phone.
ROLAND Lone Starr, you've got to help me. Please,
save my daughter. She's being attacked by Spaceballs.
LONE STARR Spaceballs? Forget it. Too dangerous.
Besides, I'm already numero uno on Dark Helmet's hit list.
BARF Look, your highness, it's not that we're
afraid. Far from it. It's just we got this thing about them. It's not us.
ROLAND Please, you must. You're the only ones
who can save her. I'll give anything. Did you her me? Anything.
BARF Anything?
ROLAND Yes! Anything!
LONE STARR Okay, we'll do it for a million.
ROLAND A million?
BARF Whoa, you startin' to fade here. We're losing
picture, your highness.
ROLAND All right, all right, I'll pay it. Only
find her, save her.
LONE STARR All right, King, you just made a deal.
BARF One princess for one million spacebucks.
LONE STARR What's she drivin'?
ROLAND A brand new, white Mercedes, 2001 SEL Limited
Edition. Moon roof, all leather interior. I got it at a very good price.
I paid cash. My cousin, Prince Murray, has a dealership in the valley.
He was very nice to me.
LONE STARR We get the idea. Where was she last
seen.
ROLAND She was just passing Jupiter 2.
LONE STARR We'll find her.
ROLAND Please, bring her back safely. And, if
it's all possible, try to save the car. (disappears off T.V.)
BARF One million spacebucks. We'll be able to
pay off Pizza the Hut.
LONE STARR Gimmie paw.
BOTH (hawl like a dog) Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
INT. VESPA'S CAR - SPACE Spaceball 1 fires their
magnetic beam at Vespa's car.
VESPA What's happening? What's that glow? We're
not moving.
DOT Oh, we're moving all right, backwards.
INT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE
LONE STARR Look, there's our princess. She's got
company.
BARF Oh, no, Spaceballs. And they've already got
her in their magnetic beam. Oh, well, we're too late. What a shame. I'll
just throw her in reverse, and we'll get outta here. (reaches for the reverse
switch)
LONE STARR (stops him) Barf. No. Bad.
BARF Oh, what are we doing risking our lives for
a runaway princess? I know we need the money...
LONE STARR Listen. We're not just doing this for
money. We're doing it for a shit load of money!
BARF Oh, you're right, and when you're right,
you're right, and you, you're always right. Okay, we save her, but how?
The minute we move in there, they're spot us on their radar.
LONE STARR Uh-uh.
BARF Uh-huh.
LONE STARR Uh-uh.
BARF Uh-huh.
LONE STARR Uh-uh, not if we jam it.
BARF Ah, ha! You're right.
LONE STARR Down scope.
BARF Down scope.
The scope comes down. BARF looks through the scope
and focuses on the radar.
BARF Radar, about to be jammed.
Jam comes flying and crashes the radar.
INT. SPACEBALL 1 - SPACE The radar is screwing
up. The RADAR TECHNICIAN is trying to figure out the problem.
RADAR TECH. (he is making the sound effects) Shit.
(makes more sound effects and dials phone) Sir? (in microphone)
SANDURZ What is it?
RADAR TECH. (O.S.) (in microphone) Can I talk
to for a minute, please, sir.
SANDURZ & HELMET (walk over to him)
SANDURZ Well.
RADAR TECH. (in microphone) I'm having trouble
with the radar, sir.
SANDURZ You don't need that, Private, we're right
here. (hangs up microphone) Now, what is it?
RADAR TECH. (in microphone voice) I'm having trouble
with radar, sir.
HELMET (rips out the microphone-mask up) Now,
what is it?
RADAR TECH. I'm having trouble with the radar,
sir.
HELMET What's wrong with it?
RADAR TECH. I've lost the bleeps, I've the lost
the sweeps, and I've lost the creeps.
HELMET The what?
SANDURZ The what?
HELMET And the what?
RADAR TECH. You know. The bleeps, (makes bleeps
sounds) the sweeps, (makes sweeps sounds) and the creeps. (makes creeps
sounds)
HELMET (to Sandurz) That's not he's lost.
RADAR TECH. Sir. The radar, sir. It appears to
be....
Jam starts dripping down the screen.
RADAR TECH. ....jammed.
HELMET Jammed? (takes a taste of the jam) Raspberry.
There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry. (pulls down
mask) Lone Starr!
CAMERA hits HELMET. HELMET falls backwards.
INT. VESPA'S CAR - SPACE Eagle 5 comes in on top
of Vespa's car. There's a thump on the car.
VESPA What was that?
BARF knocks on the door.
DOT Nevermind that. What was that?
The roof opens revealing BARF smiling.
VESPA & DOT Ah.
BARF Hi.
VESPA Who are you?
BARF Barf.
DOT Not in here, mister. This is a Mercedes.
BARF Na, that's my name. Barf.
VESPA Barf? What are you?
BARF I'm a mog. Half-man, half-dog. I'm my own
best friend.
VESPA What do you want?
BARF Your father hired Captain Lone Starr and
me to save ya. C'mon , we gotta hop up this ladder and get outta here.
DOT Go, hurry, quick, darling, follow the dog.
BARF Mog. I'm a mog.
VESPA Wait. What about my matched luggage?
BARF starts whimpering.
EXT. EAGLE 5 - LADDER - SPACE VESPA is climbing
up, followed by DOT, then BARF with a load of luggage.
DOT Hey. Stop looking up my can.
BARF Sorry.
INT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE LONE STARR looks back at
BARF. BARF still has a load of luggage on him.
LONE STARR Checking in? What the hell is all that?
BARF (with strap in mouth) It's her royal highness's
matched luggage.
LONE STARR(O.S.) What?
BARF (takes strap out of mouth) Her royal highness's
matched luggage.
LONE STARR Matched luggage, huh? What's she think
this is....
BARF hits him with tail.
LONE STARR ....a princess cruise.
BARF Well, she wouldn't go without it.
LONE STARR Oh, yeah? (picks up microphone)
BARF hits him again.
LONE STARR (in microphone) Now hear this, as soon
as we get outta hear, the first thing we do is dump the matched luggage.
DOT What was that?
VESPA (turns on intercom) Now you hear this, whoever
you are, you will not touch that luggage, and furthermore, I want this
pig-sty cleaned up. I will not be rescued in such filth.
LONE STARR (in microphone) Listen. On this ship,
I don't take orders, I give 'em. This is my dream boat, sweetheart.
VESPA Sweetheart?
DOT Uh-oh.
VESPA How dare you speak to me that way. You will
address me in the proper manner as your royal highness. I am Princess Vespa,
daughter of Roland, King of the Druids.
LONE STARROh. That's all we needed, a Drewish
princess.
BARF Funny. She doesn't look Drewish.
INT. SPACEBALL 1 - SPACE Vespa's car is coming
through the floor. SANDURZ and HELMET come in.
HELMET (mask down) Now, we will show her who is
in charge of this galaxy. GUARD cocks weapon.
HELMET Hold it. I'll handle this personally.
GUARD Ya-ho, Lord Helmet.
HELMET (looks at him) So, Princess Vespa, you
thought you could outwit the imperious forces of Planet Spaceball. Well,
you were wrong. You are now our prisoner, and you will held hostage until
such time, as all of the air is transferred from your planet to ours.
HELMET opens the door and looks inside. He lifts
his mask up.
HELMET (mask up) She's not in there.
ALL drop guns and cover their crouch.
VOICE (O.S.) Radar repaired, sir. We're picking
up the outline of a Winnebago.
HELMET Winnebago? Lone Starr. Lone Starr!
HELMET bangs on the car. The door falls on him,
pushing him inside.
INT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE Spaceball 1 is coming on
the radar.
LONE STARR Uh-oh. Here comes the the bad year
blimp.
BARF We'd better get outta here in a hurry.
LONE STARR Switch to secret hyperjets.
BARF Switching to secret hyperjets.
LONE STARR (in microphone) Buckle up back there,
we're going into hyperactive.
INT. SPACEBALL 1 - SPACE HELMET and SANDURZ are
standing in front. EAGLE 5 is in front of them.
SANDURZ We're closing in on them, sir. In less
than minute, Lone Starr will be ours.
HELMET (mask down) Good. Prepare to attack.
SANDURZ Prepare to attack.
HELMET On the count of three. One, two....
Eagle 5 takes off into hyperactive.
HELMET Wait. (lifts up mask) What happened? Where
are they?
SANDURZ I don't know, sir. They must have hyperjets
on that thing.
HELMET And what have we got on this thing a quezinart.
SANDURZ No, sir.
HELMET Well, find them catch them.
SANDURZ Yes, sir. (over loudspeaker) Prepare ship
for light speed.
HELMET No, no, no, light speed is too slow.
SANDURZ Light speed, too slow?
HELMET Yes, we're gonna have to go right to ludicrous
speed.
ALL gasp.
. SANDURZ (gasp) Ludicrous speed? Sir, we've never
gone that fast before. I don't know if this ship can take it.
HELMET What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz, chicken?
SANDURZ (in high pitch) Prepare ship, (back to
normal) prepare ship for ludicrous speed. Fasten all seat belts, seal all
entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall, cancel the 3-ring circus,
secure all animals in the zoo....
HELMET (takes the microphone) Gimme that you peddy
excuse for an officer.
SANDURZ sits in his seat and buckles up.
HELMET (in microphone) Now hear this, ludicrous
speed....
SANDURZ Sir, hadn't you better buckle up.
HELMET Aah, buckle this. (in microphone) Ludicrous
speed, Go!
The ship takes off. The display lights up: Light
Speed, Ridiculous Speed, and then Ludicrous Speed. Helmet is being pulled
back.
HELMET Whoaaa! What have I done? My brains are
going into my feet.
INT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE Spaceball 1 passes over them
leaving a plaid shadow.
BARF What the hell was that?
LONE STARR Spaceball 1.
BARF They've gone to plaid.
INT. SPACEBALL 1 - SPACE
HELMET We passed them. Stop this thing.
SANDURZ We can't stop. It's too dangerous. We
have to slow down first.
HELMET Bullshit. Just stop this thing. I order
you. Stooooop!
SANDURZ pulls on emergency brake which reads,
"Emergency Stop, never use." The ship stops and HELMET goes flying
into a panel.
SANDURZ (picks Helmet up) Are you all right, sir?
HELMET Fine. How've you been?
SANDURZ Fine, sir.
HELMET Good.
SANDURZ It's a good thing you were wearing that
helmet.
HELMET Yeah.
SANDURZ What should we do now, sir?
HELMET Well, are we stopped?
SANDURZ We're stopped, sir.
HELMET Good. Well, why don't we take a five minute
break.
SANDURZ Very good, sir.
HELMET Smoke if you got 'em. (falls forward)
INT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE
LONE STARR Take her out of hyperactive. BARF Takin'
her out of hyperactive. (pulls down switch) Ah, congrads, boss, we did
it. They must of overshot us by a week and a half.
LONE STARR (laughs) Okay, let's set a course for
Druidia.
BARF Settin' a course for (Eagle 5 starts shaking)
Drui, ie, ie, ie.
LONE STARR What's that?
BARF I don't know. I don't know. We're losing
power. Why? 'Cause we're outta gas.
LONE STARR We must've burned it up in hyperactive.
BARF I told you we should've put more that five
bucks worth in.
LONE STARR Okay, we'll have to set her down. Prepare
for emergency landing. Quick, give me a reading.
BARF (prays) How, oh Father, be in heaven. Thou
will be Thy name, by kingdom come....
LONE STARR Will you stop that? (in microphone)
Keep your seat belts fastened back there. You okay, princess.
VESPA No, you idiot. Where'd you learn how to
fly.
LONE STARR Okay, Eagle 5, coming in.
MOON OF VEGA - EXT. EAGLE 5 - DESERT - DAY Eagle
5 starts coming down on the sands of Vega. INT. EAGLE 5 - DESERT - DAY
BARF is panicing.
BARF Ahh. Left, right, I mean right. Pull up,
pull up.
They crash on a sand dune.
VESPA gets up.
DOT Where you going?
VESPA I'm going to tell him off once and for all.
DOT Wwwwwwwait. We'll need him to get us outta
here.
LONE STARR Called me an idiot? I'm going back
there and explain a few things to her.
DOT Besides, he's gotta a sexy voice. He might
be cute.
BARF Yeah, but, you don't know what she looks
like.
LONE STARR I know what she looks like. If you've
seen one princess, you've seen 'em all.
VESPA Cute? I know these space bums. They're all
alike. Fat, ugly....
LONE STARR Bucked-toothed, knocked-knees....
VESPA ....bear-swilling, pigs.
LONE STARR ....horse-faced, space dogs. (gets
up and goes to the back)
BARF Yeah, well, I normally I'd, (gets up with
seat belt still on) ow, that's gonna leave a mark.
VESPA Now listen you....
LONE STARR You listen. On this ship, you're to
refer to me as idiot not you captain. I mean, you know what I mean.
VESPA And you will not call me you. You will never
address me as you. You will call me your royal highness.
LONE STARR You are royal pain in the....
BARF Whoa, hold it, time.
LONE STARR & VESPA What?
BARF May I make a small suggestion? Any minute
now, Spaceballs is gonna make a major U-turn, head back this way, and make
us all dead.
LONE STARR He's right. Let's go.
VESPA Wait. My things.
LONE STARR Listen, you royal....
VESPA Mmmm.
LONE STARR ....highness. Take only what need to
survive.
BARF Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.
DESERT - DAY VESPA is walking down with an umbrella.
DOT is following her with a cart. LONE STARR and BARF are following with
a trunk.
DOT Please, slow down. I'm getting sand up my
gears.
BARF Gees. I hope she didn't forget anything.
LONE STARR All right, wait a minute, Barf, put
it down. What the hell's in this thing. LONE STARR opens the trunk and
pulls out a huge hair dryer.
LONE STARR What's this? I said take only what
you need to survive.
VESPA It's my industrial strength hair dryer,
and I can't live without it.
LONE STARR Okay, princess. That's it. The fairy-tale
is over. Welcome to real-life. You want this hot-air machine, you carry
it. (drops it in the sand)
VESPA You pick that up.
LONE STARR You pick that up.
VESPA How dare you, you insolent peasant. Nobody
talks to me that way. Nobody. Nobody. (echoes)
LONE STARR Well, what have we got here? Will you
look at her.
BARF Oooooo.
LONE STARR Those flashy eyes. Those flushy cheeks.
Those trembling lips. You know something princess, you are ugly when you're
angry.
DOT Uh-oh.
VESPA That's it. You and your dog are f....
BARF Please, please. Total humans, droids, if
I may. It's going to be very dark soon, so I suggest we find a place to
camp for the night.
DOT Come darling.
DOT and VESPA walk away pulling some luggage.
LONE STARR and BARF walk off with the trunk. They leave the hair dryer
behind. LONE STARR See, it's lighter.
BARF Oh yeah. This is best. I could carry two
of three of these.
INT. SPACEBALL 1 - SPACE HELMET, SANDURZ, and
CORPORAL are watching the radar.
HELMET (mask down) Have you found them yet?
CORPORAL No, Lord Helmet. They're still not on
the scanners.
HELMET Well, keep looking for them. (drinks coffee
through his mask)
SANDURZ Pardon me, sir. I have an idea. Corporal,
get me the video cassette of Spaceballs-the Movie.
CORPORAL Yes, sir.
CORPORAL walks to a wall labeled, "Mr. Rental."
The wall opens. He looks through the selections.
HELMET Colonel Sandurz, may I speak with you,
please?
SANDURZ Yes, sir.
HELMET (lifts up mask) How could there be a cassette
of Spaceballs-the Movie. We're still in the middle of making it.
SANDURZ That's true, sir, but there's been a new
breakthrough in home-video marketing.
HELMET There has?
SANDURZ Yes. Instant cassettes. They're out in
stores before the movie is finished.
HELMET Naaaaa.
CORPORAL Here it is, sir. Spaceballs.
SANDURZ Good work, Corporal. Punch it up.
CORPORAL starts the tape. It starts on the FBI
Warning.
SANDURZ Started much too early. Prepare to fast-forward.
CORPORAL Preparing to fast-forward.
SANDURZ Fast-forward.
CORPORAL Fast-forwarding, sir.
Starts fast-forwarding through the ludicrous speed
scene. Helmet is thrown into the panel at a high-speed.
HELMET Nnnnno. Go past this, past this part. In
fact, never play this again.
SANDURZ Try here. Stop.
The movie stops at the exact same thing that is
actually happening now. HELMET looks at the camera, then he turns back
to the monitor. SANDURZ looks at the camera when HELMET looks back at the
monitor, then he looks back at the monitor. HELMET looks at the camera
when SANDURZ looks back at the monitor. When HELMET turns back, he waves
his hand. He turns back to the camera.
HELMET What the hell am I looking at? When does
this happen in the movie?
SANDURZ Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything
that happens now, is happening now.
HELMET What happened to then?
SANDURZ We passed then?
HELMET When?
SANDURZ Just now. We're at now, now.
HELMET Go back to then.
SANDURZ When?
HELMET Now.
SANDURZ Now?
HELMET Now.
SANDURZ I can't.
HELMET Why?
SANDURZ We missed it.
HELMET When?
SANDURZ Just now.
HELMET When will then be now?
CORPORAL rewinds the tape. He stops at the point
when LONE STARR, BARF, VESPA, and DOT are walking through the desert.
SANDURZ Soon.
HELMET How soon?
CORPORAL Sir.
HELMET What?
CORPORAL We've identified their location. HELMET
Where?
CORPORAL It's the Moon of Vega.
SANDURZ Good work. Set a course, and prepare for
our arrival.
HELMET When?
CORPORAL Nineteen-hundred hours, sir.
SANDURZ By high-noon, tomorrow, they will be our
prisoners.
HELMET Hoooooo. (mask falls down)
DESERT - NIGHT DOT is sleeping with a light going
that says, "Sleep Mode." VESPA is cold and trying to keep warm.
LONE STARR offers her his coat.
VESPA No thank you. I'm perfectly all right.
LONE STARR Take it. It's freezing (puts the jacket
on her)
VESPA If you insist. (smells the alcohol on the
coat) Won't you be cold?
LONE STARR Na, cold never bothers me.
VESPA I can't seem to find Druidia.
LONE STARR It's right there.
VESPA Where?
LONE STARR Right there. (points to a blue star)
It's that bright, blue one, right there. See?
VESPA Oh, yeah. But it's so far away.
LONE STARR Don't worry. I'll get ya there.
VESPA Which one's yours?
LONE STARR Who knows.
VESPA You don't know where your from?
LONE STARR Not really. I was found on the doorstep
of a monastery.
VESPA Monastery? Where?
LONE STARR Somewhere in the Ford Galaxy.
VESPA Well, didn't the monks tell you who your
parents?
LONE STARR They couldn't. They took a vowel of
silence. All I got was this.
He pulls a medallion out from his shirt. It has
some type of writing. LONE STARR It was around my neck.
VESPA What is it?
LONE STARR I don't know. I've taken it to every
wise man in the universe. No one can tell me what it means.
VESPA It's beautiful. You know I.... It's beautiful.
LONE STARR puts the medallion back in his shirt.
LONE STARR So, how come you ran away from your
wedding?
VESPA Well, if you must know, I wasn't in love
with the groom.
LONE STARR Why were you gonna marry him?
VESPA Because, I'm a princess, and I have to marry
a prince. LONE STARR Ah, and he doesn't do it for you, huh?
VESPA No, he doesn't do it for me. I really must
go back. I shouldn't have run away. I realize, now, that love is one luxury
a princess cannot afford.
LONE STARR You're probably right.
VESPA I know, now, that I must live without love.
LONE STARR I guess so.
VESPA Besides, love isn't that important.
LONE STARR Naaa, never was.
VESPA I could be perfectly happy the rest of my
life without love. (looks at him)
LONE STARR Sure you could.
VESPA Without physical contact.
LONE STARR Yeah.
VESPA Without being held. (moves closer to him)
LONE STARR Yeah. (moves in closer)
VESPA Or kissed.
VESPA and LONE STARR are about to kiss when an
alarm starts going off. DOT'S Virgin Alarm is going off.
BARF (wakes up) Abandon ship. Abandon ship. Women
and mogs first.
DOT walks over to VESPA and LONE STARR. DOT We'll
have none of that, mister. (to Vespa) How far did he get? Where'd he touch?
Where'd he touch?
VESPA Nothing happened.
LONE STARR What the hell was that noise?
DOT That was my Virgin Alarm. It's programmed
to go off before you do. You get back to bed, miss. And as for you, sex-fiend....
LONE STARR All right. All right. Let's all get
some sleep. We gotta get moving before dawn.
BARF Why so early?
LONE STARR Because, we're in the middle of the
desert, and we're not gonna get far once that blazing sun gets overhead.
DISSOLVE TO: A blazing sun.
BARF'S VOICE Nice dissolve.
DESERT - MORNING LONE STARR is walking, followed
by BARF, DOT, then VESPA. They are all getting tired.
LONE STARR Water, water.
BARF (panting) Water.
DOT Oil, oil. VEPSA Room service, room service.
DISSOLVE TO: A blazing sun.
DESERT - DAY LONE STARR is carrying VESPA. BARF
is carrying DOT. VESPA and DOT are asleep. BARF and LONE STARR are really
tired.
BARF I can't, I can't, I can't go, I can't go
any further. I can't go any further.
LONE STARR Just one more dune to go.
BARF Nope. you said that three dunes ago. I got
no more left. Oh, waiter, check please. (falls down)
LONE STARR Must go on. Must go on. Must go on.
Who am I kidding. (drops Vespa then falls down)
The DINKS walk on the screen. They are short people
with gold-brownish skin.
DINKS (sing) Dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink,
dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink,
dink, dink....
DINKS see LONE STARR, VESPA, BARF, and DOT lying
on the ground. They go to their aid.
HEAD DINK Dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink.
DINKS split up and start giving water and oil
to VESPA, LONE STARR, BARF, and DOT.
DINK (with Barf) Dink, dink, dink, dink, dink.
Dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink.
BARF'S TAIL starts wagging.
DINK Dink, dink, dink, dink.
BARF Oh, thanks little guy. (starts lapping the
water)
LONE STARR Thank you.
DINKS Dink, dink, dink.
LONE STARR Did I miss something? When did we get
to Disneyland?
LONE STARR, VESPA, DOT, and BARF are being led
by the DINKS to somewhere.
DINKS (sing) Dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink,
dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink,
dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink,
dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink.
DESERT - HELMET'S CRUISER - DAY HELMET and SANDURZ
are in a cruiser. HELMET is standing up, looking though binoculars. He
has different type of uniform with a different type of helmet.
HELMET (mask on) I don't see them, Sandurz.
SANDURZ I've sent the troops on up to Vector 78,
sir.
HELMET Good. Let's get moving.
SANDURZ Yes, sir. Driver, prepare to move out.
HELMET What are you preparing. You're always preparing.
Just go!
SANDURZ Just go.
DRIVER Yes, sir.
SANDURZ Sir, shouldn't you sit down.
The cruiser takes off, and HELMET is thrown in
his seat.
EXT. TEMPLE - DAY The DINKS are opening a secret
door in the sand, and lead LONE STARR, BARF, VESPA, and DOT inside. They
walk down a set of stairs.
INT. TEMPLE - DAY
DINKS Dink, dink, dink. Dink, dink, dink.
BARF What are they sayin'?
VESPA Well, it's obvious they want us to go with
them.
They start walking down a tunnel with a huge statue
at the end.
VESPA What is this place?
BARF It looks like the Temple of Doom.
DOT Sure ain't Temple Bethresel.
LONE STARR C'mon. I think we'd better follow 'em.
Steam starts coming out of the ears of the statue.
BARF Ah-oh. I think we woke it up.
DOT Goodbye, folks. (turns around and starts running
to the door) Let me know how it turns out.
VESPA Comeback here, Dot. We need you.
LONE STARR C'mon, we gotta keep going.
VESPA What's gonna happen now?
LONE STARR Don't ask, maybe it won't.
BARF Well, what if it does? I don't about know
about you, but I'm all for leaving. I think we oughtta get outta here....
Fire comes out of the statue's eyes.
LONE STARR, VESPA, DOT, & BARF Wow!
YOGURT'S VOICE Silence! Who dares enter the sacred
and awesome presence of the everlasting know-it-all, Yogurt.
LONE STARR, VESPA, DOT, & BARF Yogurt?
The bottom of the statue opens up. A small man
about 3 feet tall comes out.
YOGURT You heard of me?
LONE STARR Heard of ya? Who hasn't of Yogurt?
VESPA Yogurt, the wise.
DOT Yogurt, the all powerful. BARF Yogurt, the
magnificent.
YOGURT Please, please, don't make a fuse. I'm
just plain Yogurt.
LONE STARR But you're the one....
YOGURT Yes. I am the keeper of a greater magic.
A power known throughout the universe, known as....
BARF The force?
YOGURT No. The Schwartz.
LONE STARR, VESPA, DOT, & BARF The Schwartz?
YOGURT Yes. The Schwartz.
He holds his Schwartz ring. His is different than
the ring HELMET has.
LONE STARR But, Yogurt, what is this place? What
is that you do here?
YOGURT Merchandising.
BARF Merchandising? What's that?
YOGURT Merchandising. Come. I'll show. Open up
this door.
DINKS open a slab in the wall. In it, is a whole
bunch of "Spaceballs - The Movie" merchandise.
YOGURT Ha, ha, ha, come. Walk this way. Take a
look. We put the pictures name on everything. Merchandising. Merchandising.
Where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs-the T-shirt, Spaceballs-the
Coloring Book, Spaceballs-the Lunch box, Spaceballs-the Breakfast Cereal,
Spaceballs-the Flame Thrower. (turns it on)
DINKS Ooooooo.
YOGURT The kids love this one. Last, but not least,
Spaceballs - the Doll. (hold up a doll of himself) Me. (pulls on the string)
YOGURT DOLL May the Schwartz be with you.
DINKS giggle. YOGURT Adorable.
SPACEBALL CITY - INT. SKROOB'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
MARLENE & CHARLENE are in Skroob's bed. SKROOB is under "Spaceballs
- the Sheet" fondling the twins. MARLENE & CHARLENE Wew, wew,
wew, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ohh, weeew....
COMMANDERETTE appears on the wall.
COMMANDERETTE President Skroob.
MARLENE & CHARLENE hide under the sheet. SKROOB
comes out from under the sheet. He is holding a book upside-down.
SKROOB What is it? COMMANDERETTE I have an urgent
message from Lord Helmet. He's lost the princess.
SKROOB Where?
COMMANDERETTE Somewhere on the sands of Vega.
SKROOB Tell him to comb the desert. Do you hear
me? Comb the desert.
COMMANDERETTE Yes, sir.
MOON OF VEGA - DESERT - DAY Six guards are moving
large combs across the desert. HELMET and SANDURZ are in the cruiser.
SANDURZ Sir.
HELMET (mask off; in bullhorn) What?
SANDURZ Are we being too literal.
HELMET (in bullhorn) No, you fool. We're following
orders. We were told to comb the desert, so we're combing it.
HELMET puts down the bullhorn and shouts to the
troopers.
HELMET (shouts) Found anything yet?
TROOPER WITH COMB Nothing yet, sir. HELMET (shouts)
How about you?
TROOPER WITH 2ND COMB Not a thing, sir.
HELMET (shouts) What about you guys?
TROOPER WITH MINI COMB We ain't found shit.
INT. TEMPLE - DAY YOGURT and LONE STARR are standing
in front the big statue. LONE STARR is showing YOGURT his medallion.
LONE STARR It's a big mystery. None of the wise
men can tell me what it means.
YOGURT Wise men, pa sha. Wise guys, you mean.
What do they know. Here, let me take a look. (he takes the medallion) Whuck,
whuck, munuck, munck, muck, muck.
LONE STARR You can read it?
YOGURT No, I was just clearing my throat. Here,
let me take look at this. Ohh, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, of course.
LONE STARR You understand it?
YOGURT Yes.
LONE STARR What's it say?
YOGURT I cannot tell you that now. It will be
revealed to you at the proper time.
LONE STARR Great. (puts the medallion back in
his shirt)
YOGURT C'mon, don't be disappointed. Back to your
Schwartz training. Here, take the ring. Point it at that big statue.
LONE STARR (puts the ring on) Okay, but I still
don't understand how I'm going to lift that big statue with this little
ring.
YOGURT Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz.
LONE STARR points the ring to statue.
YOGURT C'mon, concentrate. Ooghuh, ooghugh. ooghuh.
The statue starts lifting off the ground.
YOGURT Lone Starr, you're doing it. You're doing
it. (laughs)
LONE STARR I can't believe it. The Schwartz, it's
working.
BARF walks by the statue and puts his foot under
it.
BARF Hey, boss, how'd you do that?
LONE STARR puts the ring down. The statue falls
on Barf's toe.
BARF Whaoooooooooooooo! Whao, whao, whao, ahhhh,
who, who, whooo. . . .
YOGURT Gimme the ring. Gimmie the ring.
YOGURT takes the ring from LONE STARR. He points
it at the big statue. YOGURT Upsidasi, upsimasi, upsidaisy.
The statue lifts up, and BARF lifts his foot out.
It is big and flat. BARF Owwwwwww, ooooooooooohohoooooo, ooooooo....
LONE STARR Sorry, Barf.
BARF (growls) Oooooooooooooohohooooooo, oooooooooooohohooooooo.
EXT. TEMPLE - NIGHT HELMET is standing next to
the secret door. He can't see because it is covered in sand. SANDURZ is
telling the troops what to do.
SANDURZ Keep searching. (to Helmet) It's no use
use, sir. We've searched everywhere.
HELMET (mask off) Wait. I feel the presence of
the Schwartz.
SANDURZ The Schwartz?
HELMET Yes. It's coming.... (gets his ring out
of his pocket and puts it on)
SANDURZ covers his crouch.
HELMET ....from somewhere down....there.
SANDURZ (bushes away the sand) You're right, sir.
There's a secret entrance here. And look at this insignia, it's a Y.
HELMET Yogurt. Yogurt. I hate Yogurt. Even with
strawberries.
SANDURZ I'll call the attack squad, sir.
HELMET No, we can't go in there. Yogurt has the
Schwartz. It's far too powerful.
SANDURZ But, sir, your ring. Don't you have the
Schwartz, too?
HELMET No, he got the up-side. I got the down-side.
You see, there's two kinds of every Schwartz.
SANDURZ Well, how are we gonna go in there and
get her?
HELMET (flips his mask on) We will not go in there.
She will come out to us. (holds up his ring)
INT. TEMPLE - NIGHT VESPA is sleeping in a bed
surrounded by candles. DOT is in Sleep Mode.
ROLAND'S VOICE Vespa. Vespa, my child. Where are
you?
VESPA (wakes up) Daddy?
ROLAND'S VOICE Vespa, it's your father, King Roland.
Come to me.
VESPA Daddy. Daddy, I hear you. I hear you. Where
are you? (starts walking out the door)
ROLAND'S VOICE Follow my voice. Come to me. Come
to me.
DOT (wakes up) Vespa, where are you going?
EXT. TEMPLE - NIGHT ROLAND is standing outside
in the desert.
ROLAND Vespa, come to me.
VESPA (opens the door and walks on the desert
toward Roland) Daddy, is it really you?
ROLAND Yes, my dear. I guarantee it. Would I lie?
VESPA Daddy.
DOT walks out and turns on the Supervision Mode.
DOT Oh, Vespa, don't.
When VESPA reaches to hug ROLAND, he turns into
HELMET.
VESPA Ah! Ohhhhh. (faints and falls into Helmet's
arms)
HELMET (mask down) Fooled you. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
A guard covers Dot's eyes and she shuts down.
HELMET Take them both aboard, and put the princess in my quarters. (hands
her to Sandurz)
SANDURZ Yes sir. (walks off screen with Vespa)
HELMET Now she is mine.
INT. TEMPLE - NIGHT LONE STARR and BARF come from
their room. The DINKS are dinking, "They've taken the princess."
LONE STARR What are they sayin'?
YOGURT They've taken the princess.
LONE STARR and BARF run outside.
EXT. DESERT - NIGHT Spaceball 1 takes off toward
space. LONE STARR and BARF just now get out the door.
LONE STARR Spaceballs, too late.
BARF Don't worry, boss. We'll get her back.
DESERT - EAGLE 5 - NIGHT LONE STARR and BARF are
getting ready to leave.
LONE STARR Thanks for the gas, Yogurt.
YOGURT You're welcome, and here. (throws a fortune
cookie at Lone Starr) Just encase you get hungry.
LONE STARR (catches it) A fortune cookie?
YOGURT Yes. Remember, open it before you eat it.
LONE STARR Thanks. Well, we'd better get going.
I wonder, we will we ever see each other again.
YOGURT Who knows. God willing we'll all meet again
in Spaceballs II: The Search for More Money. Good-bye, Lone Starr.
LONE STARR Good-bye, Yogurt.
LONE STARR and YOGURT shake hands. When LONE STARR
pulls his hand back, he pulls back the ring.
LONE STARR The ring of the Schwartz. No, I can't
take this.
YOGURT Take it. Take it. You might need it.
LONE STARR Thanks. I'll never forget you. Wish
me luck. DINKS Dink, dink.
LONE STARR climbs into Eagle 5. It starts up and
takes off toward space.
INT. SPACEBALL 1 - HELMET'S ROOM - SPACE HELMET
is apparently talking to VEPSA.
HELMET (mask up; talking in his mask down voice)
So, Princess Vespa. At last, I have you in my clutches. To have my way
with you. The way I want to.
He is playing with dolls.
HELMET (imitating Vespa) No. No, please, leave
me alone. (mask down voice) No you are mine. (imitating Lone Starr) Not
so fast, Helmet. (mask down voice) Lone Starr. (imitating Lone Starr) Yes,
it's me. I'm here to save my girlfriend. Hi, honey. (mask down voice) Now
you are going to die. (imitating Lone Starr) Oh, oh, ohhhh. (imitating
Barf) Hey, what did you do to my friend? (mask down voice) The same thing
I'm going to do to you, big boy. (imitating Barf) Oh, ohhh. (mask down
voice) And you too. (imitating Dot) Oh, ohh. (mask down voice) Now, Princess
Vespa, at last we are alone. (imitating Vespa) No, no, I hate you. I hate
you. I hate you. Leave me alone....yet, I find you strangely attractive.
(mask down voice) Of course you do. Drewish princesses are always attracted
to money and power. And I have both, and you know it. (imitating Vespa)
No, leave me alone. (mask down voice) No, kiss me. (imitating Vespa) No,
yes, no, yes, yes, no, no, ah, oh, oh, oh, ah, ohh, oh, you're helmet is
so big.
SANDURZ opens the door behind him.
SANDURZ Lord Helmet.
HELMET (holds all the dolls out of Sandurz's sight)
What?
SANDURZ You're needed on the bridge, sir.
HELMET Knock on my door. Knock next time.
SANDURZ Yes, sir.
HELMET Did you see anything?
SANDURZ No, sir. I didn't see you playing with
your dolls again.
HELMET Good.
PLANET SPACEBALL - SPACEBALL CITY - INT. SKROOB'S
BATHROOM - NIGHT SKROOB is standing in front of the toilet. He is peeing.
His back is to the camera. COMMANDERETTE appears on the wall in front of
him.
COMMANDERETTE President Skroob.
SKROOB (covers crouch) Aaa. I told you never to
call me on this wall. This is an unlisted wall.
COMMANDERETTE Sorry, sir, but it's very urgent.
Princess Vespa has just been brought to your office, and Lord Helmet and
Colonel Sandurz are awaiting you there.
SKROOB All right, all right. Tell them I'll be
right there.
COMMANDERETTE Yes, sir. (salutes)
SKROOB returns salute. He realizes he uncovered
his crouch. He covers it back up. COMMANDERETTE smirks and disappears off
the wall. SKROOB flushes the toilet and walks out.
INT. SKROOB'S OFFICE - NIGHT HELMET and SANDURZ
are talking to ROLAND on the screen. Behind them is VESPA on a table turned
vertically. Also is DR. SCHLOTKINS, GRETCHEN, and ARNOLD.
ROLAND Helmet, you fiend, what's going on? What
are you doing to my daughter?
HELMET (mask down) Permit me to introduce the
brilliant, young plastic surgeon, Dr. Philip Schlotkins. The greatest nose-job
man in the entire universe and Beverly-Hills.
SCHLOTKINS Your highness.
ROLAND Nose-job? I don't understand. She's already
had a nose. It was a sweet- 16 present.
HELMET No, it's not what you think. It's much,
much, worse. If you do not give me the combination to the air shield, Dr.
Schlotkins will give your daughter back (holds up picture) her old nose.
VESPA Nooooooooooooooooooo. Where did you get
that?
ROLAND All right, I'll tell. I'll tell.
VESPA No, daddy, no. You mustn't.
ROLAND You're right my dear. I'll miss your new
nose. But I will not tell them the combination no matter what.
HELMET Very well. Dr. Schlotkins, do your worst.
SCHLOTKINS My pleasure.
The table turns horizontal. VESPA faints.
ROLAND No, wait, wait. I'll tell. I'll tell.
HELMET I knew it would work.
HELMET and SANDURZ go closer to the screen. SANDURZ
is going to write the combination down.
HELMET All right, give to me.
ROLAND The combination is (hesitates) one.
HELMET One.
SANDURZ One. (writes)
ROLAND Two.
HELMET Two.
SANDURZ Two. (writes)
ROLAND Three.
HELMET Three.
SANDURZ Three (writes)
ROLAND Four.
HELMET Four.
SANDURZ Four. (writes)
ROLAND (hesitates) Five.
HELMET Five.
SANDURZ Five. (writes)
HELMET So the combination is one, two, three,
four, five. (lifts mask) That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard
in my life. That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage.
SANDURZ Thank you, your highness.
SANDURZ takes a remote out of his pocket, points
it at the wall, and hits a button. Instead of turning off the wall, he
turned off the whole movie. A blank screen appears. GRETCHEN is making
sensual noises.
HELMET What'd you do?
SANDURZ I turned off the wall.
HELMET No you didn't. You turned off the whole
movie.
SANDURZ Well I must have pressed the wrong button.
HELMET Well, turn it back on. Put the movie back
on.
SANDURZ Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
The screen comes back on. HELMET and SANDURZ are
standing in front. SCHLOTKINS is kissing on GRETCHEN'S breasts. She is
still making sensual noises.
HELMET We gotta get that thing fixed. We're back,
and we have the combination. Schlotkins.
SCHLOTKINS (turns around) What?
GRETCHEN zips up her dress.
HELMET We're done with you. Go back to the golf
course and work on your puts.
SCHLOTKINS Let's go Arnold. Come Gretchen. Of
course, you know, I'll still have to bill you for this.
SCHLOTKINS, ARNOLD, and GRETCHEN walk out the
door. GRETCHEN looks at HELMET and SANDURZ before she walks out.
HELMET I bet she gives great helmet.
SKROOB walks in.
SKROOB Well, did it work? Where's the king?
HELMET It worked, sir. We have the combination.
SKROOB Great. Now we can take every last breath
fresh air from planet Druidia. What's the combination?
SANDURZ One, two, three, four, five.
SKROOB One, two, three, four, five?
SANDURZ That's amazing. I've got the same combination
on my luggage. Prepare Spaceball 1 for immediate departure.
SANDURZ Yes, sir.
SKROOB, SANDURZ, and HELMET start walking out
the door.
SKROOB And change the combination on my luggage.
HELMET walks through the door. The door closes
on him.
HELMET Aaaaaa.
PLANET SPACEBALL - INT. EAGLE 5 - NIGHT LONE STARR
and BARF are in the front. LONE STARR is driving.
BARF There it is. Spaceball City straight ahead.
LONE STARR Good. I'm takin' her in.
SPACEBALL CITY - EXT. PRISON BALL - NIGHT EAGLE
5 lands on the road. It is a no parking zone. Two DOOR GUARDS are standing
at the door.
SLENDER DOOR GUARD What the hell is that thing?
CHUBBY DOOR GUARD It looks like a Winnebago with
wings.
SLENDER DOOR GUARD Gees. Hey you can't park here.
CHUBBY DOOR GUARD Yeah, can't you guys read: No
parking.
BARF opens the door and flicks them off. He also
makes kissing noises. BARF is hinting they're lovers.
SLENDER DOOR GUARD That son of a.... (cocks gun)
The SLENDER DOOR GUARD and CHUBBY DOOR GUARD go
to the door that BARF went back in.
SLENDER DOOR GUARD All right, hands up. You're
under arrest for illegal parking.
CHUBBY DOOR GUARD Yeah.
They walk in. The EAGLE 5 starts rocking back
and forth. The guards are shouting. Afterwards, LONE STARR comes out in
the SLENDER DOOR GUARD'S uniform. BARF comes out in the CHUBBY DOOR GUARD'S
uniform. His tail is sticking out the back of the pants. They walk to the
door. LONE STARR unlocks the door with the key on the uniform. They walk
in.
INT. PRISON DOME - FRONT HALL - NIGHT LONE STARR
and BARF walk down a hall. They notice a PRISON GUARD walking down the
hall towards them. LONE STARR and BARF stand against the wall. The PRISON
GUARD walks past them. LONE STARR and BARF start walking the way they were
going. The PRISON GUARD looks back at them. He notices BARF'S TAIL. He
looks forward again.
PRISON GUARD Nah.
INT. PRISON DOME - ROYAL PRISONS - NIGHT LONE
STARR and BARF walk in. They notice a sign above the doorway. It says,
"ROYAL PRISONERS ONLY. MAXIMUM SECURITY."
LONE STARR She's gotta be in one of these cells.
BARF Yeah, but which one.
They search in each door. They open the eye slot
on each door they look through.
BARF No.
LONE STARR No.
VESPA(O.S.) (sings in deep voice) Nobody knows....
LONE STARR It's coming from there.
BARF That can't be her.
LONE STARR and BARF walk towards the cell VESPA'S
singing is coming from.
VESPA(O.S.) (sings in deep voice) ....the trouble
I've seen.
LONE STARR opens the eye slot. He finds VESPA
inside. DOT is sleeping next to her.
VESPA (sings in deep voice) Nobody knows but Jesus.
LONE STARR It's her.
BARF looks in.
VESPA (sings in deep voice) Nobody knows the trouble
I've seen.
BARF She's a bass.
VESPA (sings in deep voice) Glory hallelujah.
LONE STARR opens the door with the key he used
to open the front door. He and BARF walk in. The door closes on BARF'S
TAIL.
BARF Hieee.
VESPA What do you what? DOT wakes up.
LONE STARR (takes off helmet) It's me.
BARF (takes off helmet) It's us.
VESPA Lone Starr. How'd you find us?
LONE STARR No time to talk. C'mon.
BARF We gotta move.
DOT Barf. How'd you do it?
LONE STARR pulls VESPA out of the cell. BARF follows
with DOT. They sneak out of the hall.
SPACEBALL CITY - INT. PRISON DOME - INNER HALLS
- NIGHT LONE STARR, VESPA, BARF, and DOT start to run for the front door.
LONE STARR stops.
SLENDER DOOR GUARD(O.S) Freeze!
The SLENDER DOOR GUARD and the CHUBBY DOOR GUARD
are standing in the hall with their guns. They are in their underwear.
SLENDER DOOR GUARD Those are the guys that stole
our uniforms. (cocks gun)
CHUBBY DOOR GUARD And beat the shit out of us,
too. (cocks gun)
LONE STARR cocks his gun. He fires it at the door
guards. The door guards run off. Laser blasts come from another hall.
LONE STARR Ah-oh, we got company.
LONE STARR kneels down and crawls over to the
opposite wall. VESPA, BARF, and DOT follow. LONE STARR and BARF fire at
the troopers that are firing at them.
BARF Dammit. That's our only way out.
VESPA We're trapped!
DOT Oh, I hate these movies.
LONE STARR and BARF keep firing at the troopers.
BARF throws his gun down.
BARF I'm outta ammo.
LONE STARR Get back. I'll hold 'em off.
LONE STARR and the TROOPERS keep firing at each
other.
BARF I got an idea.
BARF walks over to a quad-pipe loop. LONE STARR
stops firing and stands up.
LONE STARR What are you doing?
BARF starts to pull out the pipes.
DOT What's he doing?
BARF pulls out half of the pipes. He takes it
to the hallway where the firing is coming from. He faces the openings to
the TROOPERS. The TROOPERS fire at BARF. The shots go into the pipes. They
enter the top and exit the bottom. All the shots hit each TROOPER. When
each TROOPER is hit, they fall down.
LONE STARR Good work.
Laser blasts come out of another hall.
LONE STARR Ah-oh, more ping-pongs. Run for it.
BARF Let's go.
BARF starts running down a hall. LONE STARR starts
running. VESPA and DOT start running.
VESPA It's closing.
A door in front of them starts closing vertically.
VESPA The door is closing.
LONE STARR Go for the door.
LONE STARR, BARF, DOT, and VESPA jump through
the door just before it closes.
SPACEBALL CITY - INT. CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT TROOPERS
come in through another door. LONE STARR, BARF, VESPA, and DOT start to
get up.
TROOPER Don't move, or you're dead! Stand up!
Captain, we've got them!
The CAPTAIN walks in behind them.
CAPTAIN Spectacular stunt, my friends, but all
for not. Turn around please.
LONE STARR, BARF, VESPA, and DOT turn around.
The stunts of LONE STARR, BARF, VESPA, and DOT turn around.
CAPTAIN Ha. What a pity. What a pity. So, Princess,
you thought you could outwit the imperious forces of....
CAPTAIN looks at VESPA with his mouth open. VESPA'S
STUNT is a man with a cigar in his mouth.
CAPTAIN You idiots! These are not them. You've
captured their stunt doubles! Search the area. Find them! Find them!
SPACEBALL CITY - EXT. PRISON DOME - NIGHT The
real BARF, LONE STARR, VESPA, and DOT come out of the PRISON DOME. LONE
STARR is firing at TROOPERS that follows them out the door. A laser blast
hits the lock on a door of the EAGLE 5. BARF runs over to the that door.
He tries to open it.
VESPA Open the door.
BARF I can't. It's fused.
VESPA Well, what about this one? (pulls on another
door)
BARF It's locked.
VESPA Well, where are the keys?
BARF Inside.
VESPA Oh, great!
LONE STARR Duck!
BARF, DOT, and VESPA lean against the EAGLE 5.
LONE STARR runs back towards the door that's fused. He hands his gun to
VESPA.
LONE STARR Here, you hold 'em off. I'll get the
door.
VESPA I ain't shootin' this thing. I hate guns.
A TROOPER fires at VESPA'S hair. The laser blast
hits it.
DOT Ah.
VESPA My hair. He shot my hair. Son of a bitch.
(cocks gun)
VEPSA walks toward the TROOPERS. She starts firing
at the them. She hits every one of them. BARF and LONE STARR look up.
BARF Holy shit.></P>
VESPA (blows the barrel) How was that.
LONE STARR Not bad.
BARF Not bad for a girl.
DOT Hey, that was pretty good for Rambo.
VESPA Let's blow this joint.
EXT. SPACEBALL 1 - SPACE There are foot steps
running somewhere on the ship.
INT. SPACEBALL 1 - SPACE SKROOB is running down
the ship towards HELMET and SANDURZ.
VOICE(O.S.) President Skroob. Salute.
ALL Hail Skroop. (salute)
SKROOB (stops running) The ship is too big. If
I walk, the movie would be over.
SANDURZ Sir?
SKROOB Yes, uuh.
SKROOB looks at HELMET. HELMET'S mask is down.
><FONT COLOR="#FF0080">SKROOB Never have that damn thing down in front
of me. How do I know you're not making faces at me under there.
HELMET lifts up his mask. He sticks his tongue
out at SKROOB.
SANDURZ President Skroob
SKROOB Yes.
HELMET puts his tongue back in his mouth.
SANDURZ There it is: Planet Druidia.
SKROOB Ah, Planet Druidia, and ten thousand years
of fresh air.
HELMET (mask up; to Sandurz) The way he runs things,
it last a hundred.
SKROOB What?
HELMET shrugs.
SANDURZ We're beginning metamorphosis, sir.
SKROOB Good. Get on with it.
HELMET Ready, Kafka?
INT. EAGLE 5 - ORBIT OF DRUIDIA - SPACE LONE STARR,
BARF, VESPA, and DOT are sitting up front. LONE STARR is driving.
LONE STARR Look. It's Spaceball 1. They've reached
the air shield.
DOT And it's opening.
BARF How they gonna get the air out? I don't see
any hoses or anything.
EXT. SPACEBALL 1 - ORBIT OF DRUIDIA - SPACE SPACEBALL
1 begins to move. It starts to change form.
VESPA(O.S.) What's happening? The ship it's changing.
SPACEBALL 1 keeps on changing. Arms start to grow
out of the side. The rockets turn into feet.
INT. EAGLE 5 - ORBIT OF DRUIDIA - SPACE
BARF Oh my gosh. It's not just a spaceship. It's
a transformer.
EXT. SPACEBALL 1 - ORBIT DRUIDIA - SPACE The front
of the ship starts to turn over.
DOT(O.S.) It's changing into....
BARF(O.S.) ....a gigantic....
The front turns over to reveal a head similar
the Statue of Liberty's head. SPACEBALL 1 has changed into a Statue of
Liberty with a maid's outfit and a vacuum cleaner.
VESPA(O.S.) ....maid.
LONE STARR(O.S.) With a vacuum cleaner.
BARF(O.S.) So that's how they're gonna to get
the air out.
INT. MEGA MAID - ORBIT OF DRUIDIA - SPACE The
front of the ship is almost the same, except for the escape pods at the
top.
SANDURZ Metamorphoses is completed, sir. Spaceball
1 has now become.... (looks at the timpanist) The TIMPANIST plays a sort
of fanfare on the timpani.
SANDURZ ....Mega Maid.
HELMET (mask up) Good.
SKROOB Remarkable.
HELMET Now, commence Operation: Vacu-suck.
EXT. MEGA MAID - ORBIT OF DRUIDIA - SPACE A finger
flips a switch on the vacuum to "ON." The vacuum starts up.
PLANET DRUIDIA - SURFACE - DAY The vacuum sucks
up snow off of a mountain. It sucks up trees out of a forest.
INT. MEGA MAID - ORBIT OF DRUIDIA - SPACE
SKROOB, HELMET, & SANDURZ Suck. Suck. Suck.
PLANET DRUIDIA - INT. PALACE - ROLAND'S ROOM -
DAY ROLAND is looking at a picture of VESPA. He is having trouble breathing.
ROLAND Goodbye, little Vespa. My little baby,
Vespa. (faints)
INT. EAGLE 5 - ORBIT OF DRUIDIA - SPACE
VESPA The air bag, it's almost full.
LONE STARR We've gotta act fast. Step 1, we reverse
the vacuum and blow the air back on the planet; step 2, we destroy that
thing.
VESPA But isn't that dangerous?
LONE STARR Extremely, plus, I don't know how the
hell we're gonna do it. BARF What about that ring Yogurt gave you?
LONE STARR Oh yeah. LONE STARR pulls the Schwartz
ring out of his pocket.
LONE STARR But....
BARF C'mon, boss, give it a shot.
LONE STARR Okay. Here goes nothing.
LONE STARR points the ring at the vacuum.
EXT. MEGA MAID - ORBIT OF DRUIDIA - SPACE The
switch on the vacuum starts to glow and move towards the reverse part of
the vacuum.
VESPA(O.S.) Look at that. Wow.
BARF(O.S.) It....it's working.
VESPA(O.S.) C'mon Schwartz.
VESPA, BARF, & DOT(O.S.) C'mon Schwartz. C'mon
Schwartz. C'mon Schwartz.
The switch flips over to the reverse part. The
vacuum starts blowing air back on the planet.
INT. MEGA MAID - SPACE
SKROOB Helmet, what's going on?
HELMET (mask down) Sandurz, what's going on?
SANDURZ It's Mega Maid. She gone from suck to
blow.
HELMET and SANDURZ react.
SKROOB What? They're getting all their air back.
(to Helmet) Do something. HELMET (to Sandurz) Do something.
SANDURZ (in microphone) Do something.
PLANET DRUIDIA - SURFACE - DAY The snow is dumped
back on the mountain. The trees are planted back in the same spots.
INT. PALACE - ROLAND'S ROOM - DAY Air starts to
come in. ROLAND wakes up.
ROLAND I'm breathing. Air. Air!
EXT. MEGA MAID - ORBIT OF DRUIDIA - SPACE EAGLE
5 flies in the ear of the head.
INT. EAGLE 5 - INT. MEGA MAID - EAR CANAL - SPACE
LONE STARR Dim the lights.
BARF Dimming the lights. (hits a switch)
The lights go out.
LONE STARR Go to inferred.
BARF Going to inferred. (turns a knob)
LONE STARR Prey to God.
BARF Preying to God.
The inferred light comes on. The television monitor
shows a layout of the ear canal. It shows how the EAGLE 5 is maneuvering
through the canal. LONE STARR turns on the scanning switch.
DOT Careful. Careful.
BARF What are you doin'?
LONE STARR Scanning. There's gotta be a self-
destruct mechanism somewhere in the central brain area.
The scanner looks around the ship.
LONE STARR I think we just found it. VESPA Where?
LONE STARR Watch.
LONE STARR hits a switch. The television monitor
shows a a red flashing button.
LONE STARR Bingo. There it is. It's right below
us. Put her in hover, Barf.
BARF Putting her hover.
LONE STARR I'm goin' down there. (walks toward
the door)
BARF He's goin' down there. I wouldn't.
EXT. EAGLE - INT. MEGA MAID - EAR CANAL - SPACE
LONE STARR walks down the ladder. He walks over to the emergency exit door.
He opens the door and walks in. When the door closes the silent emergency
alarm goes off.
INT. MEGA MAID - EXT. SELF-DESTRUCT ROOM - SPACE
A GUARD is standing next to the door to the self destruct room. LONE STARR
sneaks up on him and tries to knock him out with the Vulcan Neck Pinch.
GUARD reacts.
GUARD (MILA) What the hell are you doin'?
LONE STARR The Vulcan Neck Pinch.
GUARD (MILA) No, no, stupid, you've got it much
too high. It's down here where the shoulder meets the neck.
LONE STARR changes his hand position.
LONE STARR Like this?
GUARD (MILA) Yeah. (falls down unconscious)
LONE STARR Thanks. LONE STARR takes the key card
from the GUARD'S belt. He uses it in the panel to open the door. The panel
opens up showing an outline of a hand.
PANEL'S VOICE Hand print identification, please.
Hand print identification, please.
PANEL'S VOICE keeps repeating. LONE STARR takes
the glove off the hand of the guard. He puts it in the outline. The voice
stops. It scans the hand. A door opens next to the panel.
LONE STARR Thanks again. (knocks on Guard's helmet)
LONE STARR goes in the door.
INT. SELF-DESTRUCT ROOM - SPACE LONE STARR walks
in. He notices green bars guarding the self- destruct button.
SELF-DESTRUCT GUARD Is that you Mila?
LONE STARR reacts. He points the Schwartz ring
at a can of Spaceballs-the Shaving Cream. It starts to move towards him.
The SELF-DESTRUCT GUARD reacts. He turns around to LONE STARR who catches
the can.
SELF-DESTRUCT GUARD Who are you? What are you
doing with that?
LONE STARR This.
LONE STARR sprays shaving cream in the eyes of
the SELF-DESTRUCT GUARD. The SELF-DESTRUCT GUARD screams and opens his
mouth. LONE STARR sprays the cream down his mouth. The SELF-DESTRUCT GUARD
falls down unconscious.
LONE STARR Sweat dreams.
LONE STARR takes the card off the SELF-DESTRUCT
GUARD'S belt. He inserts it into a panel and moves a switch to pull up
the green bars. The green bars disappear. LONE STARR walks up to the self-destruct
button. It says, "DO NOT PUSH UNLESS YOU REALLY, REALLY, MEAN IT."
LONE STARR begins to press the button.
HELMET (mask down) Not so fast, Lone Starr. (walks
in)
LONE STARR Helmet. So, at last we meet for the
first time for the last time. (thinks about what he said) Yeah.
HELMET Before you die, there is something you
should know about us, Lone Starr.
LONE STARR What?
HELMET I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's
former room-mate.
LONE STARR What's that make us?
HELMET Absolutely nothing. Which is what you are
about to become. Prepare to die.
HELMET puts his Schwartz ring on. He puts his
hands next to his crouch. A green light beam similar to a light saber.
LONE STARR does the same.
HELMET You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz
is as big as mine.
Both look at their beams.
HELMET Now let's see how well you handle it.
HELMET walks over to LONE STARR and starts to
fight with him. They swipe at each other with their beams. HELMET pulls
back a little too far and knocks off the sound manager from the stage crew.
He screams and falls off a ledge. LONE STARR and HELMET stop fighting.
HELMET Ummm, he did it.
LONE STARR What?
LONE STARR swipes at HELMET. HELMET blocks it.
They start fighting again. They swipe at each other until their beams become
twisted.
HELMET Shit. I hate it when I get my Schwartz
twisted. Okay, maybe if my put leg up on yours we can split apart.
HELMET puts his foot on LONE STARR'S leg.
HELMET Good, yeah. On three; one, two, three,
go.
HELMET and LONE STARR pull away from each other.
Their beams disappear. HELMET looks up and recreates his beam. He points
it at LONE STARR. LONE STARR does the same and points his at HELMET. They
move in closer. Their beams touch ends. They are trying to cause the other
to lose their beam. HELMET loses his beam. LONE STARR swipes at HELMET'S
helmet. It doesn't make a mark. He tries again, same. He tries again, same.
HELMET lifts his mask up and laughs at him. LONE STARR'S beam disappears.
He punches HELMET'S face. HELMET'S mask falls down. He recreates his beam
and charges at LONE STARR. LONE STARR holds him back with his hand. HELMET
swipes at him several times. LONE STARR lets go of HELMET. HELMET runs
into a locker with his helmet.
HELMET So, Lone Starr, Yogurt has taught you well.
If there is one thing I despise, it is a fair fight. But if I must than
I must. May the best man win. Put 'er there. (offers to shake his hand)
LONE STARR goes to shake his hand. HELMET takes
the ring off LONE STARR'S hand.
HELMET The ring. I can't believe you fell for
the oldest trick in the book. What a goof. What's with you man? Come on.
You know what? No, here let me give it back to you. (offers the ring back)
LONE STARR goes up to get the ring back. HELMET
throws it in a grate. The ring goes in the grate. LONE STARR tries to catch
it and falls to the grate.
HELMET Oh, look. You fell for that, too. I can't
believe it man.
LONE STARR gets up and runs to a corner.
HELMET So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will
always triumph, because good is dumb.
HELMET fires a green beam at LONE STARR. LONE
STARR dodges. HELMET tries again. LONE STARR dodges. HELMET tries again.
LONE STARR dodges. LONE STARR backs into another corner.
HELMET Very impressive, Lone Starr. Too bad this
isn't the Wide World of Sports.
YOGURT'S VOICE Use the Schwartz, Lone Starr. Use
the Schwartz.
LONE STARR I can't. I lost the ring.
YOGURT'S VOICE(O.S.) Forget the ring. The ring
is pumpkin. I found it in a Cracker Jack box. The Schwartz is in you, Lone
Starr. It's in you.
LONE STARR All right. I'll try.
HELMET Say goodbye to your two best friends, and
I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago.
LONE STARR points his fist at a mirror on a shelf.
It starts to move towards him. HELMET fires another green beam at his crouch.
LONE STARR catches the mirror, and cover his crouch. The beam reflects
off the mirror to HELMET. It hits HELMET'S crouch. HELMET falls back into
the self-destruct button and activates it.
SHIP'S VOICE Thank you for pressing the self-destruct
button. This ship will self-destruct in three minutes.
LONE STARR runs out of the room.
INT. MEGA MAID - SPACE An alarm starts going off.
Red lights start flashing. SKROOB and SANDURZ react.
SKROOB What's going on? Where the hell are we,
Paris?
SHIP'S VOICE Thank you for pressing the self-destruct
button. This ship will self-destruct in exactly two minutes and forty-five
seconds.
SKROOB You've got to stop it. Is there any to
stop it?
SANDURZ I can't. It's irreversible.
SKROOB Like my raincoat.
SANDURZ (in microphone) Attention. This is Colonel
Sandurz in forward command. Abandon ship. Abandon ship.
Everyone on the ship starts to panic and run like
crazy.
SANDURZ (in microphone) All personnel, proceed
to escape pods. Close down the circus. Evacuate the zoo. Self-destruct
mechanism has been activated. Abandon ship.
SKROOB Sandurz, Sandurz, you've got to help me.
I don't know what to do. I can't make decisions. I'm the president.
SHIP'S VOICE This is your two minute warning.
This ship will self-destruct in exactly two minutes.
SANDURZ Launch all escape pods as soon as they
are filled.
INT. EAGLE 5 - INT. MEGA MAID - EAR CANAL - SPACE
VESPA What's happening? Where is he? Where is
he?
LONE STARR (walks in) Here. We've got a minute
and forty before the end of the world. Hang on.
EXT. EAGLE 5 - INT. MEGA MAID - EAR CANAL - SPACE
Two troopers come out of the emergency door with guns. They get under the
EAGLE 5 and start firing at the floor.
INT. EAGLE 5 - INT. MEGA MAID - EAR CANAL - SPACE
LONE STARR Full throttle.
BARF Full throttle. (pulls on throttle)
LONE STARR Go to hyperjets.
BARF Going to hyperjets. (pulls on hyper-lever)
EAGLE 5 takes off. Everyone inside is pushed back
with the sudden burst of speed.
INT. MEGA MAID - SPACE SANDURZ climbs the ladder
and looks in the first escape pod. He moves on to the next one. SKROOB
follows him. He looks in the first pod.
SKROOB Hey, get outta there. Where do you think
you're going?
PIZZA GUY Pizza to go. (laughs)
The PIZZA GUY pulls on a lever. The door closes
from the top. The pod takes off. HELMET walks up a ladder to his pod. A
bearded woman is getting into it.
HELMET Hey, hey, that's my escape pod. Who are
you?
BEARDED LADY I'm the bearded lady. What are you?
One of the freaks?
The BEARDED LADY knees HELMET in the crouch. She
laughs. She gets in the pod and takes off. HELMET looks in the window of
the door.
HELMET No. Come back you fat, bearded, bitch.
SKROOB, SANDURZ, and HELMET don't notice a bear
getting in the last pod.
SKROOB One pod left, and three of us, and I'm
the president. Well boys it's a very lovely ship. I think you should go
down with it. Good-bye.
SKROOB gets in the pod. He sits on the bear. He
tries to buckle the arms of the bear like there are a seat belt. He looks
at the bear and reacts. The bear chases him out of the pod. The bear closes
the door and waves at SKROOB. The pod takes off.
SHIP'S VOICE This ship will self destruct in twenty
seconds. This is your last chance to push the cancellation button.
SKROOB Cancellation button? Hurry.
They all slide down a ladder. They run to the
center of the ship.
HELMET Where is it? Where is it. SANDURZ It's
gotta be here.
SANDURZ opens a panel to the self-destruct cancellation
button. It has a sign on that says, "OUT OF ORDER."
SANDURZ Out of order?
HELMET Fuck. Even in the future nothing works.
SHIP'S VOICE This ship will self-destruct in exactly
ten seconds.
SKROOB, SANDURZ, and HELMET react. They scrunch
up together.
SHIP'S VOICE Counting down. Ten, nine, eight,
six....
SKROOB Six? What happened to seven?
SHIP'S VOICE Just kidding.
SKROOB, SANDURZ, and HELMET react.
INT. EAGLE 5 - INT. MEGA MAID - EAR CANAL - SPACE
They are driving close to the end of the canal.
VESPA There's the other end. Faster.
SHIP'S VOICE Seven, six, five....
INT. MEGA MAID - SPACE
SHIP'S VOICE ....four, three, two, one. Have a
nice day.
SKROOB, SANDURZ, & HELMET Thank you.
EXT. MEGA MAID - SPACE The EAGLE 5 comes out of
the opposite ear, and it starts to fly away. MEGA MAID explodes. The EAGLE
5 just makes it out of the explosion.
VESPA(O.S.) We did it!
INT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE VESPA hugs BARF. DOT is dancing.
LONE STARR is cheering. VESPA turns to hug LONE STARR. They start to kiss,
but they stop.
LONE STARR We all did it.
PLANET DRUIDIA - INT. EAGLE 5 - MORNING LONE STARR
and BARF are watching the news.
NEWS MAN ....so I guess you might call that a
case of man bites druid. (laughs) On a sadder note, Pizza the Hut (famed
half-man, half-pizza) was found dead earlier today in the back seat of
his stretched limo. Evidently, the notorious gangster became locked in
his car, and ate himself to death. Coming up, Pongo's review of Rocky five....thousand.
Pongo.
BARF laughs and turns off the television.
BARF Did you here that? Pizza kicked the bucket.
Now we don't have to pay him the million. We can keep it for ourselves.
LONE STARR Yeah.
EXT. PALACE - DAY EAGLE 5 flies in and circles
around the palace then lands on the ground.
INT. PALACE - THRONE ROOM - DAY The DOOR MAN opens
the door to let VESPA, LONE STARR, BARF, and DOT in. VESPA runs to ROLAND.
VESPA Daddy. (runs to hug Roland) Oh, daddy.
ROLAND Vespa, my darling. I thought I'd never
see you again. Oh, my sweet little daughter. I'm so happy that home and
safe. And little Vespa, here's someone else who's happy to see you. ROLAND
reveals VALIUM asleep in a chair. A man who was talking to ROLAND hits
VALIUM. VALIUM wakes up.
VALIUM Oh, hello. (yawns) Where've you been? EXT.
EAGLE 5 - SPACE EAGLE 5 is flying into space away from the camera.
EXT. DINER - SPACE EAGLE has landed on the platform.
INT. DINER - SPACE A waitress is talking to the
cashier. The cashier gives her something.
WAITRESS Thanks, hon.
LONE STARR and BARF walk in. They sit at the bar.
The WAITRESS walks towards them. She gives them water.
WAITRESS (to Barf) Hi, big stuff. (to Lone Starr)
Hi, dream. (to both) What'll you have?
LONE STARR We've just got a few minutes while
were gasin' up. What's ready?
WAITRESS I can give the Space Soup or the Space
Special.
LONE STARR Ummmmm, I'll have the soup.
WAITRESS Okay. (writes the order)
BARF I'll have the cleavage, ur, the special.
WAITRESS Okay, I have one special and one soup.
The WAITRESS comes up behind them to a table. BARF'S TAIL is wagging and
is going up the waitress's mini-skirt.
WAITRESS You ready to order? CUSTOMER Hi, yes.
We'll both have the luna fish.
WAITRESS Okay, anything to drink? (turns around)
Hey, hey, watch you're stickin' that thing.
BARF (turns around) Huh? Oh, look, it's got a
mind of it's own, sweetheart. I can't do a thing with it. (laughs)
The WAITRESS walks away to another table. BARF
howls like a dog. LONE STARR hits him.
BARF What?
Some people are sitting at the other end of the
bar. One of them is telling a story. One of them (JOHN HURT) is eating.
GUY AT BAR We were lost. None of us knew where
we were. And then Harry began feelin' around on all the trees. And then
he says, "I got it: we on Pluto. And we said, "Harry how can
you tell?" He said, "From the bark you dummies. (laughs) From
the bark. (laughs)
JOHN HURT starts to act like he's choking on his
food. Then he grabs his stomach like he has indigestion.
WOMAN AT BAR Is he all right?
GUY AT BAR Yeah, this guy digs me.
JOHN HURT spits out some of his food. They lie
him down on the bar. LONE STARR and BARF look and react.
WOMAN AT BAR Bring some water.
GUY AT BAR Water my ass. Bring this guy some Pempto
Bismal.
BARF Waitress! Waitress, what did order?
The WAITRESS comes over to BARF. She looks over
to JOHN HURT.
WAITRESS Oh, he had the special. BARF The spec....
That's what I ordered. Change my order to the soup.
LONE STARR Good move.
Something is trying to push out of JOHN HURT'S
stomach. It eventually comes out. A little alien comes out of his stomach.
It growls. JOHN HURT looks at it.
JOHN HURT Oh, no. Not again.
The ALIEN jumps out of his stomach on to Spaceballs-the
Placemat. Some people scream. The ALIEN growls again. Then, it puts on
a little hat and starts to dance down the bar.
ALIEN Hello, my baby. Hello my honey. Hello my
rag-time gal. Send me a kiss by wire. Baby my heart's on fire.
The ALIEN dances past LONE STARR and BARF. LONE
STARR and BARF react.
ALIEN If you refuse me, honey, you lose me, then
you'll be left alone. Oh baby, telephone and tell I'm your own.
The ALIEN goes through doors in the wall. The
doors close behind him. LONE STARR and BARF stand up.
LONE STARR & BARF Check please.
EXT. CHAPLE - DAY The sing outside says, "TODAY,
THE ROYAL WEDDING OF PRINCESS VESPA TO PRINCE VALIUM, TAKE TWO."
INT. CHAPLE - DAY ROLAND and VESPA are standing
next to each other. DOT is behind VESPA. The USHER walks in.
USHER Five minutes to magic time.
ROLAND Are you all right, my dear. You look a
little fighty.
VESPA Don't worry about me, Father. I'm completely
over him. Ha, didn't even stay for the wedding. Just grabbed his million
spacebucks and ran.
ROLAND He didn't take the million.
VESPA He didn't?
ROLAND No. He just took two hundred and forty-eight
spacebucks for lunch, gas, and tolls.
INT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE
BARF I still can't believe you turned down the
money. At least we could've stayed for the wedding feast. I'm starvin'.
Have you got anything to eat.
LONE STARR Na. Oh, wait. Yogurt gave me that fortune
cookie. (gets the cookie out of his pocket) Here, chow down. (hands it
to Barf)
BARF (takes it) Wow, thanks. I'll split it with
ya.
LONE STARR No.
BARF Okay.
BARF opens the cookie. A stream of gold glitter
comes out of the cookie and flies over the doorway. LONE STARR and BARF
react. The stream stops at the doorway. It turns into YOGURT. He has gold
glittery streams coming out of him.
LONE STARR & BARF Yogurt.
YOGURT Hello, boys. Well, you opened your fortune
cookie, so here's your fortune. Lone Starr, you know that medallion that
you wear around your neck, but you don't know what it means?
LONE STARR takes the medallion out of his shirt.
YOGURT Well, here's what it means: it's a royal
birth certificate. Yes. Your father was a king. Your mother was a queen.
Which makes you a certified prince.
LONE STARR Hey, I'm a prince. I'm a prince. Which
means....
YOGURT Which means, if you hurry, there could
be a princess in your future. Now, if you want to get back there before
she marries Sleeping Beauty, there's and special can of fuel in your glove
compartment. Good luck, boys.
BARF Bye, Yogurt.
LONE STARR And, Yogurt, thanks.
YOGURT You're welcome. And my the Schwartz be
with you..... (starts to fade away) .....oh...oh....what a world, what
a world. (completely fades out)
LONE STARR Barf, open that glove compartment.
BARF You got it, your highness.
BARF opens the glove compartment and pulls out
a can of Liquid Schwartz.
BARF Wow, Liquid Schwartz.
LONE STARR Quick, pour it in the emergency tank.
BARF Right.
BARF opens the emergency tank lid in the floor.
He pours the Liquid Schwartz in the tank. As he pours, the tank starts
to glow yellow.
LONE STARR Look at that.
BARF Done.
BARF closes the lid and sits up.
LONE STARR Hang on, Barfo, we're gonna make space-tracks.
(turns the wheel shapely)
EXT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE EAGLE turns around sharply
and leaves space-tracks where it turned.
EXT. MEGA MAID'S HEAD - ORBIT OF PLANET OF THE
APES - SPACE The head falls toward the planet. SKROOB, SANDURZ, and HELMET
are screaming.
PLANET OF THE APES - BEACH - DAY The head falls
toward the beach and crashes on the sand. Two apes riding horses ride towards
the head. They stop when they see something moving.
1ST APE Dear me, what are those things coming
out of her nose?
The 2ND APE looks through binoculars. He sees
SANDURZ on the ground, HELMET is climbing down a rope, followed by SKROOB.
SKROOB steps on HELMET'S helmet.
HELMET (mask up) Hey, hey, watch my helmet.
The 2ND APE stops looking in the binoculars.
2ND APE Spaceballs?
1ST APE Oh shit, there goes the planet.
INT. CHAPLE - ALTAR - DAY The minister is conducting
the wedding ceremony.
MINISTER Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
together (pause) again....
VESPA (to Roland) Why didn't you tell he didn't
take the money?
ROLAND I didn't think it was important.
MINISTER May I continue, please?
ROLAND Besides, he asked me not to tell you.
MINISTER Thank you. ....to join Princess Vespa
and Princess Valium. I'm sorry, it's the hair. Prince Valium in the bonds
of holy matrimony.
VESPA I see it all now. Don't you see he loves
me?
MINISTER Excuse me, I'm trying to conduct a wedding
here which has nothing to do with love. Please be quiet.
VESPA I'm sorry.
ROLAND I'm sorry.
VALIUM I'm sorry, too.
MINISTER Don't be sorry, be quiet.
VESPA, ROLAND, & VALIUM I'm sorry.
MINISTER ....to join Princess Vespa and Prince
Valium in the bonds of holy....
EAGLE 5 flies over.
MINISTER ....moly.
AUDIENCE reacts.
MINISTER Matrimony.
VESPA That's him. I know it's him. He's come back.
MINISTER That's it. We're gonna take no more chances
and to do it with the short version. (faster) Do you Prince Valium take
Princess Vespa to be your lawfully wedded wife.
VALIUM (yawns) Uh-huh.
MINISTER (fast) Princess Vespa, do you take Prince
Valium to be your lawfully wedded husband.
VESPA Uh....well....I suppose. Oh, I don't know.
LONE STARR and BARF walk in the doorway behind
everybody.
LONE STARR No, she doesn't
MINISTER What?
ALL react. LONE STARR and BARF walk down the aisle.
He stops half way.
MINISTER Who the hell are you?
LONE STARR Prince Lone Starr.
VESPA Prince?
LONE STARR I just found out. That's what this
says. I'm an honest to God prince. Will you marry me?
VESPA Well, let me think about it. (pushes Valium)
Yes.
LONE STARR walks onto the altar.
MINISTER I'm sick of this. I don't give a damn
who it is, but I'm gonna marry somebody today. (to Barf) Who are you?
BARF I'm the best man.
MINISTER What's you name?
BARF Barf.
MINISTER Your full-name.
BARF Barfolomew.
MINISTER Are the one getting married?
BARF No.
MINISTER Then get over there.
BARF reacts and moves to the left of the altar.
MINISTER Okay. Here we go, the short-short version.
(to Lone Starr) Do you?
LONE STARR Yes.
MINISTER Do you?
VESPA Yes.
MINISTER Good. You're married. Kiss her.
LONE STARR I love you.
VESPA I love you.
LONE STARR and VESPA kiss. AUDIENCE applaud. BARF
starts to cry.
DOT Well, (sniff) good-bye Virgin Alarm.
EXT. EAGLE 5 - SPACE EAGLE 5 takes off into space.
It has, "JUST MARRIED" written on the back. The jets are leaving
a stream of gold glitter behind. They form the words, "MAY THE SCHWARTZ
BE WITH YOU."
ROLL MAIN CAST and CREDITS.
THE END
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3:
Dream Warriors
A Screenplay By:
Wes Craven and Bruce Wagner
FADE IN:
A COMPLETELY BLACK SCREEN. THE FOLLOWING QUOTE IS SUPERED:
"Sleep. Those little slices
of death. How I loathe them."
-- Edgar Allan Poe
FADE TO:
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
Warren Zevon's "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead" BLARES from a radio as we begin a CLOSUP MONTAGE:
CLOSEUP - A YOUNG GIRL'S HAND
dips a strip of newspaper into a bowl of paper mache mix.
CLOSEUP - THE WETTED PAPER
is applied to a paper mache surface, and a popsicle stick is pressed into place. (We are TOO TIGHT to see the object being constructed.)
CLOSEUP - KRISTEN PARKER
Kristen (16) is strikingly pretty, despite the dark, tired circles under her eyes. She's exhausted, but desperately trying to stay awake. She wears pajamas and robe.
Her head nods, her eyelids close. She snaps herself awake.
CLOSEUP - THE RADIO
She turns the VOLUME UP EVEN LOUDER.
CLOSEUP - THE CLOCK
It's 1:20 a.m.
CLOSEUP - A JAR OF FOLGER'S COFFEE CRYSTALS
She scoops out a spoonful.
CLOSEUP - KRISTEN
She puts the spoonful of coffee crystals in her mouth and chases it down with a swig of Diet Coke.
CLOSEUP - PAPER MACHE
Another piece is applied.
CLOSEUP - KRISTEN
Nodding off again. She rouses herself angrily.
WIDER ANGLE
The bedroom door opens and her mother enters. ELAINE PARKER, late 30's, is dressed in an expensive evening gown that carefully displays her assets. She snaps the radio off.
ELAINE
Are you crazy? You'll wake the whole
neighborhood!
KRISTEN
(bleary-eyed)
Hi Mom.
ELAINE
Don't "hi Mom" me. What are you still
doing up? It's past one!
KRISTEN
I thought I'd wait for you.
ELAINE
(softening)
Well, I'm home now, so you can go right
to sleep. C'mon, angel.
KRISTEN
It's okay, I'm not tired. Really.
ELAINE
(turning down the bed)
Kristen, don't start with me. You know
what your shrink said...
KRISTEN
(sullen)
He's full of shit.
ELAINE
I am not going to let you get me into an
argument, goddamn it. Not tonight. Now
get in bed.
Kristen does as she's told. Her mother goes to the door and reaches for the light switch.
KRISTEN
(a soft plea)
Mom? I'm still having these awful dreams.
A MAN'S VOICE comes from downstairs:
MAN (O.S.)
Elaine? Where do you keep the bourbon?
ELAINE
I'll be right down!
(to Kristen)
Look honey, I've got a guest.
KRISTEN
And you don't want to keep him waiting.
ELAINE
That's right. I don't.
The door closes, shutting Kristen into darkness. She lies in bed, blinking back angry tears. She turns on her side, her gaze falling on:
THE PAPER MACHE OBJECT
It is a miniature house glowing weirdly in th moonlight. A crude, homemade replica of the Elm Street House.
CLOSEUP - KRISTEN
Staring at the tiny house, hearing her mother's FAINT LAUGHTER downstairs.
Kristen begins to nod off, though she's fighting it.
A breeze starts up, rustling her hair. Leaves fall across her pillow and face. Her mother's LAUGHTER FADES OUT, replaced by teh EERIE GIGGLING of small children. She awakes with a start.
CAMERA SLOWLY PULLS BACK, CRANING UP TO REVEAL:
Kristen's bed sits in the middle of the dark, deserted street in front of the Elm Street House.
Small CHILDREN are playing on the lawn. The boys are dressed in suits, the girls in party dresses. They are jumping rope and chanting a singsong:
CHILDREN
One, two, Freddy's coming for you,
three, four, better lock your door,
five, six, grab your crucifix...
KRISTEN
gets out of bed and approaches the children, transfixed.
...except for one eerily pretty LITTLE GIRL sitting on her red tricycle near the front door, hair billowing in the breezes as she stares at Kristen.
LITTLE GIRL
Hello. What's your name?
KRISTEN
Kristen. What's yours?
The Little Girl giggles and smiles shyly, but doesn't answer.
KRISTEN (cont.)
What is this place?
The wind kicks up, MOANING. We hear the SOUND OF WIND CHIMES.
THE WIND CHIME
Tinkling in the wind. The "chimes" are long razors.
KRISTEN
reacts.
ANOTHER ANGLE
The front door of the house CREAKS open behind the Little Girl. Darkness within.
LITTLE GIRL
(sadly)
I have to go now. Bye.
RINGING the bell on the handlebar, she pedals her tricycle through the door and is swallowed by the darkness inside.
KRISTEN
Wait! Don't go in there!
Too late. Kristen stands alone. Fighting her fear, she approaches the house.
INT. ELM STREET HOUSE - NIGHT
Kristen enters. The place is barren, empty. Broken windows, flaking paint, rotted walls. Leaves skitter across teh floor.
KRISTEN
Little girl!
THE CHILDREN
They sense her presence and turn their vacant, staring eyes toward her. They scatter, vanishing into the shadows...
She hears the JINGLING of the tricycle bell and the GIGGLING of the Little Girl ECHOING FAINTLY from deep inside the house. Then silence again. Kristen tries to follow the sounds.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Kristen comes around a corner just in time to see:
HER POV
A quick glimpse of the Little Girl vanishing around the corner at the far end of a long, twisted corridor. The walls are streaked with rust...or perhaps dried blood.
KRISTEN
She keeps following. Being led.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Kristen comes around a corner and finds herself facing a heavy steel door that is just closing wiht a SOLID METALLIC CLANG. The riveted metal seems out of place in the rotted wood house.
Kristen goes to the door and pulls it slowly open. A stairway leading down into darkness.
STAIRWAY
Kristen carefully makes her way down the metal steps.
INT. BOILER ROOM
Kristen fearfully enters Freddy's decrepit lair. Ancient rusted boilers stand cold and silent in the shadows.
The SOFT JINGLE of the tricycle draws Kristen's attention.
ANOTHER ANGLE
The Little Girl pedals out of the darkness and comes to a stop before Kristen.
LITTLE GIRL
This is where he takes us.
There is a SCREECH OF METAL. Kristen whirls and sees:
A BOILER
The rusted furnace door is swinging open, metal grating on metal. Inside, the charred bones of children lie in heaps of cold ash. A tricycle lies in the carnage, identical to the Little Girl's -- only charred.
KRISTEN
Horrified. Suddenly, a METAL DOOR SLAMS LOUDLY in the darkness. THUDDING FOOTSTEPS approach, BOOMING CLOSER.
THE LITTLE GIRL
looks up at Kristen with sad eyes.
LITTLE GIRL
(eerily calm)
Freddy's home.
THE BOILER FURNACE
Now alive with ROARING FLAMES. The tricycle's paint bubbles and scorches in the intense heat.
KRISTEN
scoops the Little Girl into her arms and runs in blind terror. She glances back over her shoulder to see:
FREDDY
looming from the row of boilers, an indistinct silhouette in the hellish smoke and flames. His maniacal LAUGHTER ECHOES through the chamber.
KRISTEN
ducks through a doorway into another room, still carrying the Little Girl.
INT. ROOM
A hundred teenage bodies hang from teh ceiling, strung up in the darkness like butchered meat.
KRISTEN
gazes in horror. She looks down at the Little Girl cradled in her arms -- she is now a horribly charred, brittle corpse. Suddenly, her tiny mouth bursts open, emitting a ghastly, ear-splitting SCREAM!
SHOCK CUT TO:
CLOSEUP - KRISTEN
As she sits bolt upright in bed, panting in terror, face bathed in sweat. She looks around, recognizing her own room.
She gets out of bed and walks unsteadily to the bathroom.
INT - BATHROOM
She clicks on the light and looks at her reflection in the mirror. Still trembling, she runs water in the sink and splashes her face, trying to calm down.
The water becomes too hot. Steam rises.
She tries to turn the water off, but the pressure increases. More Steam.
CLOSEUP - KRISTEN
She fiddles with the handle, confused.
As she turns it, the four-pronged handle suddenly springs to life, grasping her hand.
KRISTEN
gasps and looks up. Freddy's face grins out at her from the mirror. She SCREAMS. Steam billows up.
THE SINK
The other faucet handle begins to flex and stretch, turning into Freddy's claw hand. Finger razors grow.
KRISTEN
SCREAMING, struggling to break free.
FREDDY
leering from the mirror, laughing. The claw hand rises up into frame, poising to slash Kristen's exposed wrist.
CLOSEUP - KRISTEN
SCREAMING as the blades slash downward.
CLOSEUP - FREDDY
Grinning as a spray of blood hits the mirror.
THE BATHROOM DOOR
bursts open, revealing Kristen's mother. She SCREAMS.
REVERSE ANGLE - THE BATHROOM
No steam. The mirror and sink are normal...except for the thin streaks of spattered blood.
Kristen turns to her mother, slowly waking from her dream. She holds a bloody razor in her hand. Her wrist is slashed.
KRISTEN
(dazed, weak)
Mommy...?
She collapses.
CUT TO:
EXT. WESTIN HILLS PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL - DAY
Isolated and somewhat gothic, it's an enormous multi-winged structure built by the Catholic Church in the 1920's. A belltower is centerpiece to several rambling wings. Originally an insane asylum, it is now a modernized state-run facility. An iron fence surrounds the sprawling grounds.
INT. HOSPITAL - ADOLESCENT WING - DAY
DOLLYING with MAX, the burly black Chief Orderly, as he makes his morning rounds. He wheels a rolling cart containing a variety of medications down the hall. A NEWSCASTER'S VOICE comes from the small portable radio dangling from the cart:
NEWSCASTER
In local nows, two more teenage deaths
have occurred -- both suicides. County
health officials are at a loss to explain
this alarming trend --
Grimacing, Max switches to a music station as DOCTOR NEIL GOLDMAN (early 30's), bright and intense, falls in step.
NEIL
(absorbed in a clipboard
of patient's charts)
Nothing like a little cheery news to start
the day.
MAX
Say listen, Doc. I got a new theory about
all these suicides.
NEIL
Don't hold back on us, Max. We need all
the help we can get.
MAX
Fucked up chromosomes, man. Think about
it. Their parents all dropped acid in
the Sixties.
NEIL
It beats Dr. Simm's theory. She thinks
it's nothing but sex, drugs, and rock
& roll.
MAX
Shit, that's what keeps people alive.
Max exits frame. Neil continues on. JENNIFER, a girl of 14, approaches.
NEIL
Good morning, Jennifer.
JENNIFER
Morning, Doctor Goldman.
NEIL
How's your hand?
She extends her hand for inspection -- it is scarred with cigarette burns. She points to three different welts.
JENNIFER
Menthol, regular, ultra-light.
NEIL
They're healing up nicely.
JENNIFER
I've been good. When do I get cigarette
priveleges back?
NEIL
Don't hold your breath.
Jennifer shrugs. It was worth a try. She moves on.
TARYN, a 17 year old blonde, approaches. She appears exhausted, dark tired circles under her eyes.
NEIL
Hi Taryn. You don't look so hot, kid.
Been getting any sleep?
She ignores him. Neil watches her float past, then jots a note on his clipboard.
NEIL (cont.)
Didn't think so.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Neil comes to the Quiet Room and peers through the small mesh-grid window.
NEIL'S POV - (QUIET ROOM)
KINCAID, an enormous and powerful-looking 17 year old with a shaved head is huddled in the corner of the white padded room, gazing at nothing.
NEIL - (HALLWAY)
makes a notation on his clipboard. DOCTOR ELIZABETH SIMMS, the hospital superior, appears at his elbow.
SIMMS
How is he?
NEIL
Cooling down.
SIMMS
If he continues having these outbursts,
I'll have to have him isolated permanently.
NEIL
Don't worry, it won't come to that.
They exit frome. CAMERA PUSHES UP to teh mesh-grid window of the Quiet Room for a shot of Kincaid.
CLOSEUP - KINCAID - (QUIET ROOM)
He stares into space, singing softly under his breath.
KINCAID
I ain't gonna dream no more, no more,
I ain't gonna dream no more. All night
long I sing this song, 'cause I ain't
gonna dream no more...
DOLLYING WITH NEIL AND SIMMS - (HALLWAY)
NEIL
I read the report on our new staff
member.
SIMMS
What did you think?
NEIL
Frankly, I don't understand why some
grad school superstar is being treated
like a seasoned pro.
SIMMS
She's been doing ground-breaking
research on pattern nightmares.
NEIL
Elizabeth, we don't need any outside
help. I know these kids. I don't
want some hot-shot taking chances
with them just so she can get published.
Simms is about to say more, but is interrupted by:
P.A. VOICE
Doctor Goldman to Examination, stat.
They hurry down the hall.
NURSES' STATION
Kristen's mother, near hysteria, is loudly berating a NURSE.
ELAINE
Don't give me that shit! She's just
trying to get attention, that's all!
I'm not playing her little game any-
more!
Neil and Simms rush past into the examination room.
INT. EXAMINATION ROOM
Neil and Simms burst into a chaotic struggle. Kristen is going berserk, fighting the STAFF as they try to restrain her and wrestle her onto a gurney -- the gurney goes crashing into the wall. A frantic NURSE addresses Neil:
NURSE
Suicide attempt. They just brought her
in from County General!
NEIL
What's her name?
NURSE
Kristen Parker. She was fine until we
tried to sedate her.
Her face contorted with terror, Kristen kicks and bites and scratches as ORDERLIES try to pin her.
ORDERLY
Watch it! She tore her stiches out!
NEIL
Kristen, we want to help you!
ANOTHER ANGLE
Max enters and takes immediate control. he shoves everybody out of the way, spins Kristen effortlessly around, and pins her arms firmly from behind. She tries to struggle, but he's too strong. She weakens.
MAX
(compassionate)
Calm down, baby sister, that's enough
nonsense for now.
Neil takes a hypo from the nurse and approaches Kristen slowly.
NEIL
Kristen, I'm Doctor Goldman. I'm not
going to hurt you. I'm just going to
give you something to help you sleep.
KRISTEN goes berserk again and kicks Neil in the stomach. Max is thrown off balance and crashes into a rolling cart -- medical instruments shower to the floor.
Kristen grabs a pair of wicked-looking surgical scissors. She slashes at max's hand, drawing blood.
NEIL
Back off, Max!
Kristen huddles into a corner, ready to skewer anybody who gets close. A tense stand-off.
NEIL (cont.)
Kristen, put the scissors down! No-
body's gonna hurt you!
But the girl makes no move to drop her guard. She starts rocking back and forth, coming apart at the seams, moaning a little song:
KRISTEN
Five, six, grab your crucifix...
seven, eight, better stay up late...
nine, ten, never...never...
She can't seem to find the words in her confused mind.
NANCY (O.S.)
Never sleep again.
REVERSE ANGLE
Instant silence in the room. All eyes go to NANCY THOMPSON standing in the doorway. She's a young woman now, possessing beauty and great inner strength. her hair still bears the white streak. She speaks as if coming out of a trance:
NANCY
Who taught you that rhyme?
KRISTEN
Her eyes are locked with Nancy's.
NANCY
The staff members part before her as she walks to Kristen. She takes the scissors from Kristen's hand. Kristen falls into Nancy's arms, sobbing.
NEIL
stares at Nancy in amazement.
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL CAFETERIA - DAY
Neil and Nancy are finishing a late lunch in teh nearly deserted cafeteria.
NANCY
Tell me about the kids.
NEIL
You'll get to meet them all tomorrow.
They're...survivors. In a way. All
severely sleep disordered. Insomnia,
narcolepsy, bedwetting...
NANCY
But nightmares are the common thread?
NEIL
Right. They seem to share a group
delusion, a "boogeyman" for lack of
a better word. They're so traumatized,
they'll do anything not to sleep.
NANCY
Anything?
NEIL
(playing with his coffee)
We lost a kid about a month ago to
Fairview. I don't know where he got
the razor...but he cut off his own
eyelids to stay awake.
NANCY
Oh God.
NEIL
Ever work with vets?
(Nancy shakes her head)
These kids act like they've got
D.S.S. -- Delayed Stress Syndrome.
If I didn't know better, I'd swear
they'd seen heavy combat.
NANCY
I wouldn't be so sure they haven't.
NEIL
What's that supposed to mean?
She shrugs, not answering. Neil lets it pass.
NEIL (cont.)
(changing the subject)
By the way, that was great work with
the new patient. Pretty smooth for an
intern.
NANCY
I've had some experience with pattern
nightmares.
NEIL
So I've been told. Practically an
obsession of your.
NANCY
Call it a passion.
(glances at her watch)
I've got to get going.
NEIL
Make sure to check in with Max, he'll
give you the 25 cent tour.
She gathers her things. Her purse falls over, scattering its contents. A bottle of pills rolls out. Neil helps gather the items -- he picks up the pills.
INSERT - PILL BOTTLE
The label reads: HYPNOCYL 60 mg. 1-2 TABS FOR SLEEP.
BACK TO SCENE
She takes the pills and stuffs them in her purse along with everything else.
NANCY
Thanks. See you in the morning.
She is almost out the door when Neil calls to her.
NEIL
Ms. Thompson.
NANCY
Call me Nancy.
NEIL
Only if you call me Neil. What was that
nursery rhyme all about?
NANCY
Just something children sing...to keep
the boogeyman away.
She exits. Neil stares after her thoughtfully.
HIS POV - LONG LENS OF THE CROWDED HALLWAY
As Nancy turns and vanishes from sight, a NUN is a white habbit is revealed at the far end of the hallway -- she seems to be staring at him. PEOPLE are wiping frame as they criss-cross the hallway, affording mere glimpses of her.
NEIL
A bit slf-conscious. Is the woman really staring at him?
HIS POV - LONG LENS
People keep wiping frame as they bustle in the hallway. The nun is now gone.
NEIL
frowns, puzzled. he dismisses it and downs his last sip of coffee.
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
Max is giving Nancy a tour.
MAX
The whole wing's devoted ot this
program. That's your office.
NANCY
A little basic, but nice.
MAX
I'll have a file cabinet in there before
tomorrow.
(leading her down a hall)
The patient's rooms are down here.
Nancy pauses at an open door, looking into:
INT. PHILLIP'S ROOM
PHILLIP, 16, sits at a work table fashioning the face of a homemade marionette out of clay. Other marionettes hang from the wall. A comical dog, a white knight, a clown, etc.
MAX
(from doorway)
This is Phillip. We call him The Walker.
NANCY
Why is that?
PHILLIP
'Cause I sleepwalk. A perfectly normal
event that our illustrious staff loves
to theorize about endlessly.
MAX
Phillip, this is Nancy.
PHILLIP
Hi. Welcome to the Snake Pit.
NANCY
Thanks.
(admiring marionettes)
Nice work.
PHILLIP
They really oughtta be carved out of
wood, but they won't let me have a
knife. I might, you know...
(mimes slashing his wrist)
Fffft!
MAX
That lump over there is Kincaid.
Kincaid is lying on a bed, reading a comic book.
MAX (cont.)
Take a close look. He gets his ass
thrown in the Quiet Room so often,
you probably won't see much of him.
Right, Cool Breeze?
KINCAID
I do it so I don't have to look at your
face all the time.
MAX
(grins)
Riiiigghht.
Max and Nancy move on.
INT. HALLWAY
DOLLYING WITH Max and Nancy.
MAX
They're good kids. But don't let 'em
fool you. They're dangerous...to
themselves and each other.
They exit frame. PAN TO JOEY, a wan 16 year old watching them from around the corner. He has a tear drop drawn in ink under one eye.
A SOFT RYTHMIC SQUEAKING draws his attention.
ANOTHER ANGLE
MARCIE, a cute 19 year old candy-striper, is wheeling a cart to a laundry closet.
As she begins to load the cart with clean towels, several fall to the floor. Joey hurries over.
CLOSER ANGLE
Joey picks up the towels and holds them out to Marcie. She gives him a bright smile.
MARCIE
Why thank you, Joey.
Joey grins mutely, obviously smitten. LORENZO, a cocky, handsome young orderly appears.
LORENZO
Hey, Marcie. These going to C Ward?
MARCIE
Yeah.
LORENZO
C'mon, I'll walk you down.
They start down the hall, the cart still SQUEAKING RYTHMICALLY. Marcie turns back, giving Joey a smile and a wave.
MARCIE
See you later.
JOEY
smiles weakly as he watches them go.
CUT TO:
INT. KRISTEN'S HOUSE - DAY
Nancy guides Kristen's mother through signing a sheaf of hospital forms. Elaine is carefully and expensively dressed in fashionable tennis clothes.
NANCY
Mrs. Parker, was Kristen acting different?
Did you notice anything strange before
she made the attempt?
ELAINE
Kristen specializes in strangeness. I've
spent thousands on psychiatirists.
NANCY
Did she always have nightmares?
ELAINE
They've gotten worse since I took away
her credit cards.
NANCY
I'm serious.
ELAINE
Look, Miss Thompson, I don't know what
you want from me.
NANCY
Just some answers. There are other kids
involved, its not just Kristen. All
good kids, smark kids.
ELAINE
I'm sorry to hear that, but you're the
experts on this, not me. If I had any
insights, believe me, I'd share them
with you.
NANCY
I'm sure you would.
ELAINE
(rising)
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get
to the club.
NANCY
I'll need to take her things.
ELAINE
The maid packed a suitcase.
(calling out)
Teresa! Teresa?
NANCY
I'll get it. Please, I don't mind.
ELAINE
First door up the stairs.
INT. KRISTEN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Nancy enters and finds the suitcase on the bed. As she turns to leave, her eye is caught by:
THE PAPER MACHE ELM STREET HOUSE
sitting on Kristen's drafting table.
NANCY
Amazed. Shaken. She reaches out slowly, almost afraid to touch it. She picks it up.
CUT TO:
INT. NEIL'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Neil sits at a computer terminal in his study. He hooks the modem to his phone and accesses a mainframe. The screen comes to life, blinking. He punches in a command.
THE SCREEN
A readout appears, ticking down an endless list of drug categories.
NEIL
Working the keyboard, searching for something. Finally:
THE SCREEN
The glowing green letters read:
HYPNOCYL
FDA classification: Experimental.
Effective for management of
psychotic disorders. For sedation
where dreamless sleep is considered
optimal; suppression of night terror.
NEIL
He shuts down the computer and eases back in his chair.
CUT TO:
INT. NANCY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Nancy sits in a thin, high-tech reading chair, engrossed in Kristen's medical file. The paper mache Elm Street House sits on a table nearby.
CLOSEUP - NANCY
Shee is starting to nod off as she reads.
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL - KRISTEN'S ROOM - NIGHT
Kristen lies in bed, sketching on a newsprint pad with charcoal. A rendering of the Elm Street House.
She begins to nod out. her eyes flutter closed. CAMERA DOLLIES IN TIGHT on her face. We hear the DISTANT, GHOSTLY JINGLING of a tricycle bell. Her eyes slowly open.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Kristen watches, terrified, as a tricycle rolls into the room by itself, leaving bloody tire tracks. The same tricycle that belonged to the Little Girl.
THE TRICYCLE
comes to a stop...then begins to glow red-hot and melt, warping and sagging as if from an astonishing inner heat.
KRISTEN
gets out of bed, edges past the ghastly melting apparition, and backs out of the room.
CLOSEUP - KRISTEN
As she backs out the door, we see it is the red Elm Street door. She pauses, realizing something is terribly wrong -- suddenly the door SLAMS SHUT INTO CAMERA.
CAMERA ZOOMS OUT IN A DIZZYING RUSH to reveal the Elm Street House. Kristen is now trapped inside.
INT. ELM STREET HOUSE
Kristen tries to get out, but the door is locked. She turns, looking for another means of escape. We hear a FAINT BUZZING.
INT. DINING ROOM
Kristen enters. The BUZZING IS LOUDER.
HER POV - THE DINNER TABLE
The table is set for a formal dinner. The grotesque, rotted remains of a roast pig sits on a platter, covered with flies.
KRISTEN
is revolted.
THE PIG
leaps up, SQUEALING.
WIDER ANGLE
Kristen is suddenly pulled down, vanishing beneath the surface of the liquid floor. The furnishings remain, hanging in their own gravity.
UNDERWATER
Kristen thrashes wildly in the the pitch-black water. She swims frantically, lungs bursting for air. Impossible to tell which way is up.
HER POV
A door hanging in watery limbo a short distance ahead.
KRISTEN
swims for it.
THE DOOR
She clutches the ornate handle and strains to open the door.
INT. ROOM (OTHER SIDE OF TEH DOOR)
The door swings open. Kristen emerges from a solid wall of water and steps into the room. She is magically dry.
REVERSE ANGLE
It is the Elm Street living room, foreboding and nearly barren of furniture.
A large lump forms under the rug at the far end of the room and undulates toward her sinuously. A long tubular shape.
Kristen backs away.
The shape circles her aimlessly, then slithers up the wall -- a huge, writhing entity traveling within the wall surface.
The shape arcs back down toward the carpet and disappears below the floorline.
Kristen turns about apprehensively, searching for the mysterious entity. Beat.
Suddenly, the creatures erupts through the floor directly beneath her in a shower of wood splinters, engulfing her legs as it rockets straight up. It slams back down like a whale surfacing, Kristen locked firmly in its jaws.
THE CREATURE
is a gigantic serpent/worm version of Freddy, ribbed and organic, encrusted with mucous and slime. Its slavering jaws dislocate like a snake's, the skin stretching grotesquely as it begins to swallow Kristen from the legs up.
KRISTEN
(screaming)
NANCY!
CUT TO:
INT. NANCY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
E.C.U. Nancy dozing. Her eyes flutter open as she hears a FAINT REVERBERATION of Kristen's call.
LOW ANGLE
Nancy strains to listen -- all is silent now. uneasy, she rises from her chair...but freezes in place as she hears the UNEARTHLY CALL again, brely discernable. She turns.
THE ELM STREET HOUSE MODEL
The sound seems to emanate from the strange paper mache dollhouse. CAMERA RUSHES IN TIGHT as its tiny front door swings slowly open.
NANCY
DOLLYING IN TIGHT ON HER FACE as she puts a hand to her head, a feeling of dizziness suddenly washing over her.
WIDER
She sinks back into her chair -- and keeps right on going, impossibly sucked away into the thin chair. She is gone in the blink of an eye.
CUT TO:
INT. ELM STREET LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
A large ornate oval mirror hangs on the wall. The glass EXPLODES as Nancy bursts into the room.
She rises, staring in horror and disbelief.
REVERSE ANGLE
The horrid Freddy/snake expands and contracts around Kristen, slowly wolfing her down, its awful diseased maw inching up past her waist.
KRISTEN
NANCY!
NANCY
snaps into action. She scoops up a long jagged shard of broken mirror, cutting her palm in the process.
She leaps into the fray, jamming the shard of glass into Freddy/snake's eye -- the eye bursts, spraying rancid ichor.
FREDDY/SNAKE
Regurgitating Kristen, the creature arcs back, ready to strike. his good eye locks on Nancy, recognizing his old enemy.
FREDDY/SNAKE
(total rage)
YOU!
CLOSEUP - FREDDY/SNAKE
ROARS as the snake face peels back like old parchment and instantly transforms into a mind blowing skull/snake/Freddy with horns and double rows of razor teeth -- striking INTO CAMERA.
NANCY
grabs Kristen and barrel-rolls out of the way. They scramble out the door.
INT. HALLWAY (OTHER SIDE OF DOOR)
Nancy slams the door and fumbles with the lock, snapping it into place.
NANCY
You pulled me in somehow, didn't you?
KRISTEN
I -- I think so!
The razor-teeth burst through the door, splintering it.
NANCY
Then get us back out!
Kristen tries to concentrate -- the teeth tear a chunk from the door and the Freddy/beast's drooling snout lunges through. Chewing. Tearing.
NANCY (cont.)
NOW, KRISTEN! DO IT NOW!
KRISTEN
(muttering, pleading)
Wake up , wake up, wake up --
The door EXPLODES in on them as we
CUT TO:
INT. NANCY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
nancy thrashes awake in her reading chair, knocking a cup of coffee across them room. She is shaking in the aftermath of terror, her fists clenched tight, not knowing if she just dreamed it all or not.
Suddenly realizing, she unclenches her hand -- the palm is cut from the shard of broken mirror she plunged into Freddy/snake's eye.
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
Nancy bursts in with the Elm Street House model under her arm and hurries down the hallway -- right past Neil.
NEIL
You're late.
NANCY
Didn't get much sleep.
NEIL
Well, we've got --
But she's already turned the corner and gone.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Nancy rushes up to Kristen's room and looks in. Empty. Max appears, coming up the hall.
NANCY
Max, where's Kristen?
MAX
She's been waiting outside your office
since breakfast.
ANOTHER ANGLE - (NANCY'S OFFICE HALL)
Nancy rushes around the corner and stops. Kristen is sitting patiently in the hallway outside Nancy's office. She stands.
NANCY
(holds up Elm Street model)
I used to live in this house.
KRISTEN
But...it's just a house I've dreamed
about.
(lower)
I dream about it all the time.
(pause)
Thank you for what you did last night.
CUT TO:
INT. NANCY'S OFFICE - DAY
Nancy and Kristen speak in low tones with the door closed.
NANCY
Have you ever done that before? Pulled
someone into your dream?
KRISTEN
(dreamy, far-away look)
When I was a little girl. Three or four.
If I had a nightmare, I'd bring my Dad in.
The dream would always get better.
(smiles)
He always used to tell me about it the
next day -- he used to think they were
his dreams.
NANCY
When did it stop?
KRISTEN
When I was still a kid. My folks got
divorced.
(beat)
After a while, I thought I'd imagined
the whole thing. I guess I didn't.
NANCY
It's an amazing gift.
Pause. Then, softly:
KRISTEN
That man in my dreams. He's real isn't
he?
NANCY
He's real.
CUT TO:
INT. GROUP THERAPY ROOM - DAY
All the kids of the Adolescent Care Unit are gathered: Kincaid, Phillip, Taryn, Joey, Jennifer, and WILL, a 17 year old confined to an electric wheelchair. Kristen's a bit uncomfortable -- she's the new kid. The general impression is of a blitzed-out squad just out of heavy combat. Nancy takes of a blitzed-out squad just out of heavy combat. Nancy takes her place next to Elizabeth Simms as Neil closes the door.
NEIL
Okay, Group's in session. Straight
talk only in this room.
SIMMS
Today I'd like to start by getting us
acquainted with our new staff member,
Nancy Thompson. Let's make her feel
welcome.
The kids murmur a chorus of AD-LIBBED GREETINGS.
NEIL
Let's see, you've already met Phillip,
Kincaid, and Kristen. Why don't the
rest of you tell Nancy something about
yourselves?
neil absently toys with the row of hanging metal balls on one of those click-clack kinetic toys sitting on the table. No volunteers.
NEIL (cont.)
Will? How about you first?
WILL
I'm Will Stanton, and um...I've had a
little accident, as you can see.
TARYN
Accident my ass. I thought this was
supposed to be straight talk in here.
KINCAID
Hey, so he took a jump. At least he
wasn't sticking needles in his arms
with a bunch of lowlifes.
SIMMS
Save it, Kincaid. Jennifer?
JENNIFER
I'm Jennifer Caulfield. When I get
out of here I'm going to L.A. to be
an actress. i'm gonna be on T.V.
KINCAID
Yeah. Lifestyles of the Rich and
Psychotic.
JENNIFER
Screw you.
(indicates Joey)
This is Joey. He used to be a debater
in school, but now he doesn't talk much.
Joey grins at Nancy shyly, nodding his head in greeting.
TARYN
I'm Taryn White. I only came here
because it was a better deal than
juvie hall.
(pause)
Also, I guess 'cause I'm going through
some very stange shit.
NANCY
Your dreams?
TARYN
(softly)
Hey, everybody has bad dreams.
PHILLIP
Can I interject something here? Just
to save us all some time?
NEIL
Go ahead, Phillip.
PHILLIP
(to Nancy)
According to our kind hosts, our dreams
are a group psychosis. Sort of a mellow
mass hysteria. The fact that we all
dreamt about this guy before we ever
met doesn't seem to impress anybody.
The kids murmur in agreement.
PHILLIP (cont.)
So we go in circles making minimal
progress with maximum effort.
SIMMS
And you won't make any progress until
you can recognize your dreams for what
they are.
NANCY
And what are they?
SIMMS
The by-product of guilt. Psychological
scars steaming from moral conflicts and
overt sexuality.
KINCAID
Great. Now it's my dick that's killing
me.
KRISTEN
Tell them, Nancy. Tell them what's
really going on.
NEIL
(surprised)
Yes, tell us, Nancy.
NANCY
All I can say is this isn't something
that's just going to disappear. you're
all going to have to face it. Fight it.
And if you're willing to work together...
wiling to stand up to your deepest
fears...I think we can beat it.
PANNING THE KIDS
Their expressions reflect a quiet mix of hope and fear. They are impressed -- all except Kincaid.
KINCAID
My deepest fear is listening to any more
of this rah-rah bullshit.
CUT TO:
INT. WILL AND JOEY'S ROOM - NIGHT
Will sits in his wheelchair with his Dungeons and Dragons game spread out on the table before him. Taryn's not really into it, but she's playing along. Joey sits nearby, following the game with rapt attention. Taryn throws the dice.
Will refers to his Dungeonmaster's card.
INSERT - THE CARD
features an illustration of a wizard in flowing robes. Magical lightning crackles from his fingertips.
CONTINUING SCENE
WILL
Okay, you're attacked by the Bog Demon.
Go ahead.
TARYN
(rolls dice)
Uh, fourteen.
WILL
Doesn't count. You gotta say the words.
TARYN
This is stupid.
WILL
C'mon.
TARYN
(sighs)
In the name of Elric, Prince of Elves,
demon begone.
WILL
Good. You conquer the demon, but your
horse is sinking in the bog. What do
you do?
TARYN
(yawns)
I go to bed and get a new horse in the
morning.
She exits. Will turns to Joey.
WILL
How do I score that? Enchanted slumber
or Death?
Joey makes a throat-cutting motion. Max enters.
MAX
Gentlemen. It's lights out.
WILL
Aw, Max...
MAX
You know the rules.
WILL
Okay, okay.
Max lifts Will gently out of his wheelchair and lays him on his bed.
MAX
You too, Joey.
(Joey scrambles into bed)
'Night, boys.
Max turns out the lights and exits, closing the door. Beat.
WILL
You get the first shift tonight.
Joey throws back the covers and sits up. He shakes his head and points, indicating that it's Will's turn.
WILL (cont.)
Come on, I had it last night.
(Joey shrugs, giving in)
Okay, just keep your eyes open. One
whimper and you wake me up.
Joey nods.
CUT TO:
INT. MEXICAN RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Neil and Nancy having a quiet dinner.
NANCY
This is nice.
NEIL
Never been here before?
NANCY
Must have opened while I was away at
school.
NEIL
Most authentic Mexican food in Springwood,
which isn't saying much.
(beat)
your parents still live around here?
NANCY
My mother's dead. Died in her sleep.
NEIL
Sorry.
NANCY
My father an I...well, the family just
seemed to fall apart.
NEIL
Sounds like a rough time.
NANCY
It was.
(beat)
Neil, do you believe in other realities?
NEIL
I've been to Pittsburgh. Does that count?
NANCY
I'm serious.
NEIL
Okay...I believe in different levels of
conciousness, that sort of thing...but
if you're into UFO's or Atlantis, you've
lost me.
NANCY
What if I told you your patients are in
real physical danger from their dreams?
NEIL
That's a new one. Is that what they're
teaching now at Stanford?
NANCY
That's what I know.
NEIL
The nightmares are nothing but a symptom
of their real problems.
NANCY
All right. Then let's eliminate the
symptom for the time being.
NEIL
With Hypnocyl?
NANCY
That's right.
NEIL
You want me to prescribe an experimental
psychoactive drug to a bunch of suicidal
teenagers?
NANCY
Just until we get things under control.
NEIL
(shakes his head)
Dream deprivation is nothing to fool
around with. you have no business
taking it yourself.
NANCY
I used to be like them, Neil. I know
what they're going through.
NEIL
So do I.
NANCY
Do you?
(beat)
You told me they're survivors...and they
are. But how much longer they survive
is up to us.
NEIL
I'm sorry, Nancy. The answer is no.
CUT TO:
INT. PHILLIP AND KINCAID'S ROOM - NIGHT
Phillip and Kincaid lie sleeping in their beds. DOLLY SLOWLY IN on Phillip. He moans softly -- perhaps a troubled dream.
BOOM UP TO the marionettes hanging on the wall. An eerie collection of moonlit figures.
DOLLY IN FOR CLOSEUP on the unfinished marionette. It raises its gray, misshapen head.
The crude clay features ripple and change into a distinct likeness of Freddy.
CLOSEUP - MARIONETTE'S HAND
Sharp razor-claws generate from the stubby clay fingers.
FREDDY/MARIONETTE
swipes his claws at his strings, cutting himself loose.
THE FLOOR
Freddy/marionette lands in a cat-like crouch. As he straightens up, he starts to grow.
PHILLIP
stirs...his eyes open.
PHILLIP'S POV
Freddy/marionette rises into view at teh foot of the bed...growing into the full-sized Freddy.
PHILLIP
opens his mouth to scream.
FREDDY
holds a finger to his lips, signaling for silence.
PHILLIP
gasps for breath, suddenly paralyzed. His blanket is magically snapped off the bed.
FREDDY
flicking downward with a single blade, quickly, precisely. Again and again.
CLOSEUP - PHILLIP
in excruciating pain, unable to move a muscle.
HIGH ANGLE
Looking down at Phillip. Clean, nearly bloodless incisions have been made down the length of each arm and leg.
CLOSER
one long strand of sinewy muscle tissue leaps up out of each incision.
PHILLIP
His muscle/strings go taut -- he's lifted from his bed.
KINCAID
Stirs awake and sees:
KINCAID'S POV
Phillip is walking out of the room, apparently sleepwalking.
KINCAID
(groggy)
Hey Phillip. Wake up, man.
No response.
FAVORING PHILLIP
His terrified eyes are bulging as he leaves the room, being manipulated at the end of his strings like a marionette.
In the background, Kincaid rolls over.
KINCAID
(grumbling)
Have a nice stroll, asshole.
INT. HALLWAY
Phillip is "puppeted" slowly down the hallway. Tears roll down his checks as he rolls his eyes wildly, looking for a way out of this nightmare. No use. He has no control over his movements.
NURSE'S STATION
A NIGHT NURSE is dioing paperwork at her station. Nearby, a JANITOR mops the floor.
Neither of them notice Phillip as he sleepwalks past in the background.
PHILLIP/MARIONETTE
The moment he is out of thei view, he walks into a wall...and dissolves right through it. So much for hospital security.
CUT TO:
INT. WILL AND JOEY'S ROOM - NIGHT
Joey is sitting by the windwo in the dark, wide awake. Passing time. A movement catches his eye, he glances out the window.
JOEY'S POV - THE BELL TOWER
It stands stories above the rest of the massive, rambling hospital, the apex of all teh wings of the building. TILT UP to the archway at the top of the belltower. The small, pale figure of Phillip stands on teh ledge.
JOEY
staring in horror, his mouth opening and closing as he tries to call for help.
EXT. BELLTOWER LEDGE
Weeping with terror, Phillip teeters at teh lip of the ledge over an awesome, dizzying drop -- the courtyard is far below.
The strings jerk Phillip forward and back, toying with him.
INT. WILL AND JOEY'S ROOM
Frantic, Joey turns from the windwo and drags Will out of his bed. Will is groggy, disoriented.
WILL
Are you crazy? What are you doing?
Joey drags Will across teh floor to the window, pointing.
JOEY AND WILL
Will sees Phillip on the bell tower.
WILL
(cold dread)
Oh shit. Get help.
Joey races from the room as Will starts pounding the window.
WILL (cont.)
PHILLIP! PHILLIP!
INT. HALLWAY
Joey runs to the Nurse at her station, gesturing in panic. He hops around frantically, motioning for her to come.
NURSE
(doesn't understand)
Joey, what's the matter?
He freaks out and grabs a metal tray off the counter. The nurse's dinner goes flying. Joey runs down the hall, slamming the tray against the walls.
The kids appear from their rooms in a state of confusion. Staff members come running.
INT. WILL AND JOEY'S ROOM
Will is still pounding the window, hollering. Joey runs in, the others pour in after him.
WILL
PHILLIP! WAKE UP!
EXT. LEDGE
Phillip teeters on the edge. He looks up, eyes pleading and wet with tears.
PHILLIP'S POV
A giant transparent Freddy, seen from the waist up, looms in the night sky, higher than thebell tower. he is leaning over the building from behind as if it were a marionette stage, laughing maniacally as he puppets Phillip.
Freddy draws back his claw hand -- then slashes out, slicing Phillip's strings.
PHILLIP
The puppet spell is broken -- he SCREAMS, arms windmilling frantically as he falls from teh ledge.
LOW ANGLE
Phillip plummets from the tower.
THE KIDS AT THE WINDOW
There is a horrible THUMP as Phillip impacts. Some kids are SCREAMING, some are crying, all horrified beyond words. The staff members are helpless as bedlam reigns.
CUT TO:
INT. GROUP THERAPY ROOM - DAY
Group is in session. The kids seem sullen, fragile, disconnected...without hope. Neil looks beaten-down, less self- assured than usual -- Phillip's death has shaken him.
NEIL
I want to talk about what happened last
night. Let's get all our feelings out
in the open.
The kids hold silent for a long moment, then Kincaid offers a grudging appraisal.
KINCAID
He wasn't strong enough. So he got
wasted, that's all.
JENNIFER
That's all? Is that what you think?
KINCAID
He couldn't hack it and he got nailed.
Period.
TARYN
(contmpt)
Oh yeah, big tough badass. How long
you gonna last?
KINCAID
Longer than any of you.
KRISTEN
(softly)
Go ahead and fight. That's what he
wants.
WILL
Who?
JENNIFER
You know who.
(to Kristen)
What does he want?
KRISTEN
To turn us against each other...so we'll
be weak. Easy prey.
KINCAID
Horseshit.
NANCY
No, she's right.
All eyes go to Nancy. Simms shoots her a dirty look.
SIMMS
I think we're all missing the point
here. Phillip's death was a sleepwalking
accident. Nothing more.
WILL
(softly)
I could see him up there. His face.
He was wide awake...all the way down.
NEIL
Then it was suicide. Phillip quit. He
copped out.
Joey shakes his head, getting agitated.
JENNIFER
Joey says it wasn't no suicide.
Neil lets some of his anger and frustration show through:
NEIL
Joey, listen to me! Phillip killed
himself. And that's a cowardly thing.
An empty thing. he let himself down.
he let all of us down.
Joey is blinking back tears.
TARYN
It was murder! Can't you understand
that? That bastard murdered him!
JENNIFER
(spooked)
You never know when he's going to come.
Sometimes for days, nothing...then --
SIMMS
I've heard quite enough of this. How
long before you're ready to face your-
selves? How much longer can you keep
blaming your dreams for your own
weaknesses?
KINCAID
How much longer you gonna blow smoke up
our ass?
NEIL
That's enough, Kincaid.
SIMMS
There will be no repeat occurences of
last night's events. From now on, your
doors will be locked during sleeping
hours. We'll begin a policy of evening
sedation. For everybody.
A terrified reaction from the group. Nancy shoots Neil a sharp look, shaking her head.
KINCAID
(rising)
The fuck you will. Anybody tries to
drug me gets his ass kicked!
SIMMS
(rising, angry)
You just bought yourself a night in the
Quiet Room, mister. Now sit down!
KINCAID
(shouting)
Fuck you! You sit down!
Simms presses a button, summoning help. Neil rises, prepared to protect Simms if necessary.
NEIL
Easy, Kincaid...
Max and another ORDERLY enter. Kincaid starts to freak. he kicks a chair at them, screaming!
KINCAID
NOBODY'S GONNA PUT ME TO SLEEP!
The orderlies get Kincaid into an armlock and wrestle him, fighting and kicking, out the door.
Simms follows the struggle out into the hallway. Neil and Nancy join her.
INT. HALLWAY
Simms, flushed and livid, watches Kincaid get dragged away. She turns to Neil.
SIMMS
We'll begin sedation tonight. Starting
with him.
NANCY
You can't! They'll be defenseless against
their dreams.
SIMMS
That's precisely what they need. Some
uninterrupted REM sleep to release all
this negative energy.
NANCY
(to Neil, desperate)
Neil, please --
Neil pauses, wavering between nancy and Simms. He finally comes to a decision:
NEIL
Elizabeth, I'm prescribing Hypnocyl.
(she gives him a
blank stare)
It's a dream suppressant.
SIMMS
I know what it is. I just can't believe
what I'm hearing.
(indicates Nancy)
What has she talked you into?
NEIL
Nothing. They're my patients. It's
my decision. I want the dreams stopped
until we get some answers.
SIMMS
I won't allow it.
NEIL
I'll go straight to Carver if I have
to. He'll either back me up or accept
my resignation.
Simms pauses, then:
SIMMS
If soemthing goes wrong, I'll make sure
you're held responsible. Fully responsible.
Simms exits. Neil watches her go.
NEIL
I can't believe I just did that.
NANCY
Do you think we can get the Hypnocyl in
by tomorrow?
NEIL
We're gonna try.
He turns and walks away -- but pauses, looking back.
NEIL
I hope you know what you're getting us
into.
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - NIGHT
DOLLYING with Max as he works his way down the hall, spot-checking the dorm area. Nancy appears.
MAX
Puttin' in soem late hours, I see. If
you're trying for O.T., you're in the
wrong place.
NANCY
I just wanted to be here for the kids.
how are they?
MAX
Restless. Very restless.
Kristen appears at her door, looking sleepy and exhausted.
KRISTEN
Nancy? Would you sit with me awhile?
NANCY
Sure.
MAX
(to Nancy)
You need me, I'll be here all night.
NANCY
Thanks, Max.
She goes to join Kristen in her room.
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY - NIGHT
Taryn, wearing robe and slippers, emerges from the women's bathroom and shuffles back toward her room.
Lorenzo, the young orderly, appears in her path, twirling a keyring.
LORENZO
Hi, sweet stuff. Good news.
TARYN
(disinterested, tries
to get past him)
Can't be good news coming from you.
LORENZO
Pulled night duty. Trimble's sick.
TARYN
So?
LORENZO
(twirling keys)
So...got the keys to heaven, baby.
TARYN
What?
LORENZO
The dispensary. I'm talking clean
pharmaceutical high. A night at Club
meth.
TARYN
(steps past him)
I don't do that shit.
He grabs her wrist, exposing her arm -- her skin is scarred with old needle tracks.
LORENZO
What are these, beauty marks?
TARYN
(yanks her arm away)
Those are ancient history.
LORENZO
Oh yeah? Well, if you're ever in the
mood for a history lesson, I'm your
teacher, understand?
TARYN
Stay out of my face or I'll go straight
to Max.
LORENZO
Now who's gonna take the word of a crazy
junkie chick like you?
TARYN
Fuck off.
She heads off to her room.
CUT TO:
INT. TV ROOM - NIGHT
A rather drab, institutional room with second-hand couches an chairs. jennifer sits in a worn armchair watching the TV -- a massive old metal RCA. She is fighting sleep, but starting to nod off. Max enters.
MAX
Girl, what are you doing?
JENNIFER
Watching TV.
MAX
I can see that. You watch too damn much
TV.
JENNIFER
Research.
MAX
Oh, right. You're gonna be a TV star.
JENNIFER
Wait and see.
MAX
If Simms catches you in here after lights
out, she'll chew my ass ragged.
JENNIFER
(pleading)
I gotta stay up, Max.
MAX
Jennifer --
JENNIFER
Just tonight, please? I can't handle
the nightmare. Not tonight. Not
after Phillip.
Max hesitates...then relents against his better judgement.
MAX
If you get caught, I never saw you.
Deal?
JENNIFER
(relieved)
Deal. Thanks.
Max exits, shaking his head. Jennifer turns back to the TV -- the Late Show drones on. She shakes herself, still fighting to stay awake.
She digs a hidden pack of cigarettes from under the chair cushion and lights up. She takes a deep drag -- then, wincing with pain, burns her hand with the lit cigarette. Anything to stay awake.
CUT TO:
INT. KRISTEN'S ROOM - NIGHT
Kristen lies in bed. Nancy sits nearby in a chair -- it seems she may keep an all-night vigil.
She notices an array of gymnastics posters taped to the wall.
NANCY
You like gymnastics?
KRISTEN
(nods)
I was on the team at school.
(beat)
I was never very good, though.
NANCY
We're not always as good at things as
we'd like.
KRISTEN
Yeah, but I was really not good.
They laugh softly.
KRISTEN
Yeah, but I was really not good.
They laugh softly.
KRISTEN (cont.)
I'm glad you're here.
Nancy pauses, wrestling with a decision. She digs into her purse, pulls out her bottle of Hypnocyl, and shakes the contents into her hand. Just two pills left. She gives them to Kristen.
KRISTEN (cont.)
What are they?
NANCY
(softly)
They'll keep the dreams away. For
tonight.
CUT TO:
INT. TV ROOM - NIGHT
Jennifer is still fighting to stay awake as she watches TV. She switches around with the channel changer, stopping on a Dick Cavett interview. His guest is Sally Kellerman.
JENNIFER
nodding out again.
TV SET
DICK CAVETT
Well, that is the great American dream,
isn't it? To come to L.A. and be a TV
star?
SALLY KELLERMAN
Well, I suppose it --
The image sputters with snowy interference.
JENNIFER
Her eyes fluttering.
TV SET
Alternating between snow and image.
KELLERMAN
-- find a good teacher. An actor has
to study, to learn. I think that's
crucial.
FREDDY/CAVETT
(gleefully)
WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK?
JENNIFER
Her eyes snap open, her body stiffening. She stares at:
TEH TV SCREEN
Nothing now but static.
JENNIFER
Frowning. Must have imagined it. She rises and smacks the side of the set, trying to get the picture back. Nothing.
Suddenly, two arms rip from each side of the TV set and grab her by the shoulders. The arms are a horrid hybrid of Freddy's arms and RCA tubes and wiring. She SCREAMS as she is lifted off the ground.
TV SET
Freddy's head grows and stretches out of the top of the set, wearing the rabbit-ear antenna like some horrible insect. Jennifer keeps SCREAMING.
FREDDY
This is it, Jennifer! Your big break
in TV!
he rams her head into the screen with hideously brutal force -- there is an EXPLOSION of glass and electrical sparks.
CUT TO:
EXT. CEMETARY - DAY
A midwestern cemetary on a rolling hillside. A gentle drizzle falls on a crowd of mourners clustered at twin gravesites. A PRIEST intones the eulogy. Among the mourners are Dr. Simms, Max, Nancy...but Neil is missing.
CLOSER - MAX AND NANCY
Staring as the caskets are lowered.
MASTER - THE FUNERAL
CAMERA BOOMS BACK to reveal Neil standing on a rise overlooking the funeral. he's under the shelter of a large oak tree, but is still soaked by the drizzle. He stares down, grief-stricken, his tears masked by rain.
NUN (O.S.)
Don't be ashamed, young man. This is
a place for sorrow.
ANTOHER ANGLE
The nun in white stands clsoe by (Neil saw her in the hospital hallway). She appears in her 60's, but carries herself with a strength that belies her years. Neil wipes his eyes.
NUN (cont.)
What faith do you follow?
He chokes back a bitter laugh.
NEIL
Science...I suppose.
NUN
A sad choice.
NEIL
There are times when it doesn't offer
much comfort.
(pause)
I've seen you before. Sister...?
NUN
Mary Helena.
NEIL
You do volunteer work at the hospital?
NUN
I come from time to time. When I'm
needed.
Neil turns his gaze back toward the funeral, lost in his own private grief.
NEIL
(softly)
I could've saved them.
NUN
Only one thing can save the children.
The unquiet spirit must be laid to
rest. It is an abomination to God and
Man.
NEIL
(blankly)
I beg your pardon?
NANCY
(calling O.S.)
Neil?
Neil turns and moves to the edge of the rise as Nancy crests the hill. The services have ended, the crowd is dispersing.
NANCY (cont.)
What are you doing up here?
NEIL
I was just talking to --
He turns, but the nun is gone.
NANCY
To who?
NEIL
(shrugs)
Doesn't matter.
NANCY
C'mon. Let's get out of this rain.
As they head slowly down the hill, PAN TO THE NUN IN CLOSEUP -- she is fingering a rosary and whispering a prayer as she watches them go.
CUT TO:
INT. NANCY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
TIGHT ON NEIL at the window, staring out at the rain. He speaks quietly, almost as if to himself.
NEIL
I used to think I could do something
about it...make some kind of difference
...but they keep slipping through my
fingers.
He raises a nearly empty wineglass and drains the last sip.
WIDER ANGLE
The remains of a Chinese takeout dinner is spread on the floor. Nancy is crouched near the fireplace, feeding paper cartons to the flames.
NANCY
Stop blaming yourself.
NEIL
I'm running out of answers. A patient
sleepwalks out of a security ward up
to a tower with no access. A girl,
alone in a room, dies by jumping six
feet straight up into a television set.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
NANCY
Then maybe you're ready.
NEIL
For what?
NANCY
The truth.
NEIL
Try me.
NANCY
(considers it)
Only if you're willing to put aside
everything you've learned and trust me.
Can you do that?
NEIL
(pause)
I can do that.
CUT TO:
INT. GROUP THERAPY ROOM - DAY
nancy closes the door and faces the remaining kids: Kristen, Kincaid, Will, Taryn, and Joey. Neil sits by with a clipboard on his knee. Dr. Simms is conspicuously absent.
NEIL
Okay. Straigh talk only in here.
TARYN
Is this Group?
NEIL
Well, unofficially.
WILL
Pretty soon there won't be enough of us
left to call it "Group."
NEIL
Listen up. Nancy's got something to say.
NANCY
(pause)
I know who's trying to kill you.
KINCAID
Don't fucking humor us. We're not in
the mood.
NANCY
He wears a dirty brown hat.
(this gets their attention)
He's horribly burned.
(all eyes on her)
He has razors on his right hand.
TARYN
Who is he?
NANCY
Freddy Krueger. He was a child murderer
before he died. After he died, he became
...something worse.
(beat)
Six years ago Freddy killed my friends.
He almost killed me. I thought I got rid
of him -- but I guess he was too strong.
Thick silence. The kids stare at her, flabbergasted, not knowing whether to believe or doubt. Then:
WILL
Why is he after us?
TARYN
Yeah? What did we ever do?
NANCY
Not what you did. Your parents. My
parents. They burned him alive.
We're paying for their sins.
(softly)
You're the last of the Elm Street
children.
FAVORING THE KIDS
as they react with bewilderment.
WILL
(can't grasp it)
Mom and Dad? That's...crazy. They
never said...
TARYN
Oh sure. That's just the sorta thing
parents tell their kids: "Goodnight
honey. Don't forget ot say your prayers.
Oh, by the way, your father and I torched
some maniac last night."
KINCAID
So what do we do about this creep?
NANCY
Last time, it was me against him. I
wasn't strong enough...alone.
WILL
(catching the thread)
But together...
NANCY
Kristen's the key. She's got a very
special talent. A gift.
KRISTEN
I haven't been able to do that since
I was a little girl.
NANCY
You did it the other night.
KRISTEN
That was different.
NANCY
You never lose a gift like that. You
just forget how to use it.
(beat)
How about it? Will you try?
Kristen nods.
NANCY (cont.)
Each one of you has an inner strength --
some special power you've had in your
most wonderful dreams. Together we
can learn to use those powers...if we
try.
NEIL
(muttering to Nancy)
You sound like Peter Pan.
NANCY
Remember -- open mind.
NEIL
(dimming the lights)
Okay, we're going to try a little group
hypnosis.
He turns to a high-tech chrome pendulum device sitting on the tabletop and flicks a switch. The pendulum rocks slowly from side to side as a tiny blip of high intensity light flashes intermittently. Everybody stares at the device.
NEIL (cont.)
I want you all to follow the pendulum
with your eyes. Tune out everything
else...nothing else exists but the
pendulum.
NANCY
(softly)
Take us there, Kristen.
NEIL
Breathe deeply and relax...starting with
your toes, relax everything until there's
no tension left in your bodies. None at
all. Keep following the pendulum...
PANNING THE KIDS
as they stare at the device, becoming mesmerized.
NEIL (cont. O.S.)
You find yourselves getting tired.
Nothing wuld feel better right now than
a nice, long, deep sleep.
ENDFRAME on Kristen. Eyes fluttering closed.
NEIL (cont. O.S.)
I'm going to count backwards from five,
and when I finish, you will all be
asleep.
NANCY
watching the pendulum, lulled under its spell.
NEIL (cont. O.S.)
Five...four...three...
NEIL
staring at the device, counting down.
NEIL (cont.)
...two...one.
KRISTEN
Her eyes snap open, she looks up.
WIDER
Everyone looks up. The room is stil teh same, nothing has changed. neil switches the device off.
KRISTEN
I'm sorry.
Everybody reacts, disappointed.
NANCY
We can try again.
NEIL
Everybody take five.
Several kids stand up to stretch their legs. Neil turns to Nancy, drawing her aside.
NEIL
Look, I was willing to go along with this
for the kids' peace of mind...and yours.
But you've got to face reality...
JOEY
He is at the water cooler getting a drink. He pauses, hearing the RYTHMIC SQUEAKING OF A CART.
HIS POV
Marcie, the cute candy-striper, appears just outside the door with her cart. She sees him and stops.
JOEY
gives her a goofy grin, totally in love.
MARCIE
looks arund to see if anybody is watching -- then smiles and gestures to him.
JOEY
He glances around, then slips out the door unnoticed.
INT. HALLWAY
Marcie checks again to make sure nobody is watching, then motions for Joey to follow her.
JOEY
hurries after her, his knees going weak.
INT - GROUP THERAPY ROOM
The kids are still taking a break. neil is absently-mindedly toying with the metal click-clack balls.
NANCY
Neil, let's try one more time. If
it doesn't work, then I promise --
neil raises the end ball and sends it into the others -- instead of click-clacking, they simply float apart into mid-air.
nancy gapes as the metal balls float past her head.
All activity comes to a standstill. Everybody stares.
WILL
(realizing)
We're here.
TARYN
Where...here?
KRISTEN
Yes. We're in the dream.
NEIL
Staring at the balls, rapt and fascinated.
NEIL
Don't be silly...we're in Group...
WILL (O.S.)
In my dreams, I can walk. My legs are
strong.
THE GROUP
They all turn to see Will standing straight and tall. No sign of his wheelchair.
WILL (cont.)
In my dreams, I'm the Dungeonmaster.
He plucks a metal ball from teh air, holds it in his fist, and
blows in one end -- a fantasy dragonfly appears out the other.
NANCY AND NEIL
NANCY
We made it. Neil, we made it!
NEIL
(ducking the dragonfly)
This isn't possible.
(beat)
And even if it is...what the hell am
I doing here?
(to Kristen)
Did you drag me in here too?
Kristen grins sheepishly.
NANCY
Try soemthing, Kristen. What can you
do in your dreams?
Kristen take s afew steps back, then launches herself into a perfectly executed series of twisting handflips across the room.
WILL
A perfct score! The crowd goes wild!
Kincaid picks up a metal chair and twists it open like a paperclip with his bare hands.
KINCAID
Fuckin' A. Dig this.
NEIL
Kincaid, please. That's very unnerving.
KINCAID
Hey, check out Taryn.
TARYN
She's become a brethtaking street punk, like something out of a rock fantasy: shimmering platinum hair swept back in a wild Mohawk, and sleep black leathers with delicate silver chains.
TARYN
In my dreams, I'm beautiful --
She flicks out a wicked gravity knife and twirls it open faster than the eye can follow.
TARYN (cont.)
-- and bad.
NANCY AND NEIL
Neil looking around, still trying to grasp it.
NANCY
Take it slowly. Remember, this is a dream.
Anything is possible.
NEIL
Anything?
Nancy nods.
CLOSEUP - NEIL
He closes his eys and concentrates, trying an experiment. He opens his eyes and sees:
NANCY
Now wearing a frilly negligee.
NANCY
Very funny.
The kids laugh and hoot. neil blushes, very flustered.
KINCAID
Nice dreaming, Doc.
CUT TO:
INT. DORM ROOM
It is an unoccupied dorm room. Marcie leads Joey in. She closes the door softly, then turns to him.
MARCIE
Listen, Joey...I just wanted to get you
alone for a second. i mean...
(beat)
Look, I really like you.
She steps closer. Joey gulps.
MARCIE (cont.)
Do you like me?
(Joey nods)
This may sound crazy, but...I make up
excuses to come into the ward every
day just to see you. you're so cute.
Joey's eyes widen. She sits him on the bed and stands in front of him.
MARCIE (cont.)
I could get into a lot of trouble for
this, but I know you won't say anything.
Will you?
Joey shakes his head violently. She turns her back to him.
MARCIE (cont.)
Unzip me.
Joey reaches up and unzips her with shaking hands.
She turns back and shrugs off ehr uniform. She is wearing only skimpy panties. She is magnificent.
MARCIE
(coy smile)
Do you like my body, Joey?
Joey is overwhelmed.
Marcie pushes Joey gently back on the bed and crawls on top of him with sinewy grace. SHe starts unbuttoning his shirt and kissing his chest.
CLOSER
Marcie kisses his mouth, her tongue probing deeply.
Too deeply. Joey gags and draws back -- but Marcie's tongue grows supernaturally long and burrows deeper into his mouth.
CLOSEUP - JOEY
Choking. he grabs the writhing tongue and tries to pull it out of his mouth.
CLOSEUP - MARCI
The tail end of her tongue leaps out of her mouth with a life of its own.
ON JOEY
Both ens of the tongue/creature whip around his wrist and yank it back, twining around the bedpost like a bullwhip.
MARCIE
A second hideously long tongue shoots out of her mouth, throught the air --
JOEY
-- and lashes his other arm to the other bedpost with a THWACK! Freddy's maniacal LAUGHTER rings out. joey looks up.
JOEY'S POV
Marcie's head has been replaced by Freddy's -- his grotesque laughing face perched atop her lovely body.
FREDDY/MARCIE
(gleefully)
What's wrong, Joey? I thought you liked
my body!
CLOSEUP - FREDDY
Two more tongues fly from his mouth simultaneously.
JOEY'S FEET
are lashed to the footboard bedposts.
HIGH ANGLE
Looking directly down on Joey writhing on the bed. The mattress drops away beneath him, descending a shaft exactly it's size. The mattress is engulfed in a fiery inferno below. CRANE UP as Joey is left suspended over a hellish pit of flame, trying desperately to scream.
CUT TO:
INT. GROUP THERAPY
The lights suddenly dim and flicker out. Everybody comes to a standstill, looking around apprehensively.
NEIL
What's happening?
KRISTEN
He's close...
NANCY
Freddy?
KRISTEN
He's heavy in the halls...
TARYN
(realizing)
Where's Joey?
They glance around -- Joey's not with them.
KRISTEN
Freddy's got him! We've got to help him!
Neil grabs the door to throw it open -- but yanks his hand back as the knob glows red hot. The door begins to scorch and sizzle as the room turns stifling hot.
WILL
The room's changing!
The walls begin to close in -- the group is backed into the center of the room as it becomes rounded, cylindrical...like the inside of a furnace. Rivets appear as the walls become scorched steel plate. Neil staggers back.
NEIL
This is crazy...crazy...
He looks down --
ANOTHER ANGLE
-- his feet are slogging through smouldering ash. He steps on a child's charred ribcage -- it crumbles and snaps underfoot like a brittle leaf. A tiny skull is churned up.
KINCAID
hunkers down and tries to push through the steel door, but jumps back as his hands are burned.
THE GROUP
looks about helplessly as the smoke gets denser. ROARING flames leap up around them. Suddnely --
THE FURNACE DOOR
slams open to reveal Simms standing in a perfectly normal hospital hallway. Total silence.
SIMMS
What's going on in here?
REVERSE ANGLE
The Group Therapy Room. Neil, Nancy, and the others are seated in their chairs, heads coming up as the awaken. They gaze around, still confused.
SIMMS (cont.)
What's wrong with Joey?
Joey is lying unconscious on the floor near his chair, arms and legs spread-eagle (in the same pose as being lashed to the bed). Simms rushes over and checks him.
SIMMS (cont.)
He's not breathing!
Neil pushes her out of the way and kneels over Joey, desperately giving him mouth-to-mouth.
CUT TO:
INT. INTENSIVE CARE - NIGHT
TIGHT ON JOEY lying in a coma, hooked up to monitoring devices and a respirator. ANGLE WIDENS SLOWLY as we DOLLY BACK, revealing a team of TECHNICIANS and NUEROSURGEONS surrounding the bed.
CONTINUE DOLLYING BACK until we find ourselves IN THE HALLWAY outside the room. neil and Nancy hover by the door, sick with worry. DOCTOR CARVER (60's), the supervising physician of Westin Hills, is stewing in controlled anger. Dr. Simms is self- righteous now that her predicted disaster has taken place.
The nuerosurgeons exit the room. NUEROSURGEON
(shakes his head)
He's in a deep coma. There's nothing
we can do for him.
The nurosurgeons walk away. Carver turn to Neil.
CARVER
This is insexcusable.
SIMMS
The session was unauthorized. It was
purposely conducted without my knowledge.
NEIL
Unusual steps were called for.
CARVER
Is that what I should tell this young
man's parents?
(beat)
I understand you prescribed a highly
experimental drug.
NANCY
Dr. Carver, he's not in a coma because
of the Hypnocyl.
CARVER
Young lady, your opinion is of no
interest to me. Furthermore,
according to Dr. Simms, you've been
creating panic among the patients.
NEIL
That's not true.
CARVER
Dr. Goldman, in the last four days we've
had two suicides. Now a boy is in a
coma. I think it's fair to say your
approach has failed...entirely.
(beat)
You're both relieved of your duties.
I want you out of here. Today.
NANCY
Dr. Carver --
Neil motions her quiet. Carver exits.
SIMMS
I'm sorry, Neil. You brought this on
yourself.
NEIL
(softly)
For God's sake, Elizabeth...just try
to help the kids, will you? Listen
to them.
SIMMS
(softening)
Of course.
She exits. Only Nancy and Neil remain.
NANCY
What are we going to do?
NEIL
(softly)
There's nothing we can do. It's out of
our hands.
He walks away. She watches his go, then look in Joey. She is desolate.
CUT TO:
EXT. HOSPITAL - NIGHT
Neil has packed several boxes of personal files into the trunk of his BMW. He places the final box in -- it's stuffed with drawings from the kids...and some photographs.
INSERT - THE PHOTOGRAPH ON TOP
A picture of a group picnic -- featuring Neil with Jennifer and Phillip.
CLOSEUP - NEIL
stares sadly at the picture for an extended beat.
LOW ANGLE
As Neil slams the trunk, the unused wing of the hospital is revealed in the background. It is old, untended, crumbling. A shrouded white figure is standing in one of the upper floor windows.
NEIL
sees the figure and reacts, startled.
THE FIGURE IN THE WINDOW
is the nun from the funeral. She has been staring out the window at him. She turns away and disappears from view.
NEIL
pauses for a moment, then approaches the building.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Neil comes to a set of double doors and rattles them -- they're sealed with a rusty chain and padlock.
He moves to a broken window and peers through the boards nailed across it.
NEIL'S POV
He can see into the long main hallway of the ground floor. He gets a brief glimpse of the nun at the far end as she comes down the stairs, turns on the landing, and heads downstairs to the basement.
NEIL
NEIL
(knocking on the board)
Sister? Sister!
She hasn't heard him. He pries the loose board away and enters through the window.
CUT TO:
INT. OLD WING - BASEMENT LEVEL - NIGHT
A forgotten, dusty corridor with peeled paint like parchment on the water-stained walls. Neil comes down the stairs, peering around in the gloom.
The only feature in the dead end hallway is a partially open rusty iron door with a small barred window. A FAINT BUZZING rises and falls from within.
NEIL
Excuse me. Sister?
No answer. Just another swell of FAINT BUZZING. Neil approaches the door and pushes it open all the way. It SQUEALS LOUDLY on its hinges.
INT. ROOM
Neil enters a huge, shadowy, dungeon-like room. Flaking cement pillars stand draped with cobwebs. Rusted remains of bedframes and scraps of wood litter the floor. The BUZZING grows louder, then falls away again.
NEIL (cont.)
Hello?
A wooden match ignites near him, going off like a gunshot in the stillness -- the nun is reavealed. Neil gasps, startled.
NUN
This is where it began.
She turns and lights a candle in a tiny alcove before a statue of the Virgin Mary. Dim light sputters up.
NEIL
This wing's been closed for years.
(looking around)
What was this place?
NUN
Purgatory...fashioned by the hands of
men. Twisted, lost souls, the worst
of the criminally insane, were locked
away in here like animals.
NEIL
The whole facility was shut down in the
Forties, wasn't it? Some kind of
scandal...
NUN
(she nods)
A young girl on the staff was accidentally
locked in here over the holidays. The
inmates managed to keep her hidden for
days. She was raped...hundreds of times.
When they found her, she was barely
alive...and with child.
NEIL
(softly)
My God.
NUN
That girl was Amanda Krueger. Her
child --
NEIL
Freddy.
NUN
The bastard son of a hundred maniacs.
Some say he was murdered, though no
body was ever found.
Neil is momentarily distracted by another swell of BUZZING. A fly brushes past his face in the darkness.
NEIL
You said something before...about
laying him to rest...?
NUN
You must find the remains...and bury
them in hallowed ground.
The nun turns and climbs the stairs.
NEIL
(blankly)
Hallowed ground?
he moves to follow her, but his foot comes in contact with something near the bottom of the steps. The BUZZING SWELLS UP LOUDLY. He jumps back.
NEIL'S POV
The grisly carcass of a cat stares up at Neil, hundreds of flies swarming in its dessicated flesh.
THE NUN
Pausing at the top of the stairs.
NUN
If your only faith is science, Doctor...
it may be you that's laid to rest.
As she exits, the door begins to CREAK slowly shut behind her, plunging the room into darkness.
NEIL
scrambles up the steps and grabs the door just before it closes shut.
INT. CORRIDOR
Neil heaves a sigh of relief as he exits the Pit. He looks around. The nun has disappeared.
CUT TO:
INT. INTENSIVE CARE - DAY
Nancy sits at Joey's bedside, gazing at the boy -- so still, so frail. She speaks in a whisper, but her voice is fierce.
NANCY
Let him go, you bastard.
ON JOEY
Short slashes suddenly begin to criss-cross his smooth chest.
NANCY
reacts in horror. Neil enters B.G.
NANCY
Neil...
He comes to her side and looks down.
JOEY
The slashes spell out a message in crude, bloody letters: "COME AND GET HIM, BITCH."
NANCY AND NEIL
gazing on in horror.
CUT TO:
EXT. NEIL'S BMW - DRIVING SHOT - NIGHT
The car glides down a meandering road, leaving Westin Hills behind.
INT. CAR
Neil driving, Nancy beside him.
NEIL
You're not going in. That's exactly what
he wants. As long as you're on Hypnocyl,
it's the only way he can get to you.
NANCY
Don't you think I know that? I don't
have any choice.
NEIL
Bullshit. Getting yourself killed won't
do the kids any good. Besides, we do
have a choice.
NANCY
Assuming your mysterious nun in right.
NEIL
I've heard crazier things this week.
NANCY
All right. Whoever she is, I'll admit
she seems to know more about Krueger
than I do.
NEIL
The question is, what happened to Freddy's
body?
NANCY
They burned him to death in his boiler
room, but they were smart enough to
hide the remains.
NEIL
Who would know where they were hidden?
NANCY
(pause)
There's only one man...and its time for
him to talk.
CUT TO:
INT - HOSPITAL HALLWAY - NIGHT
TIGHT ON Kristen's face as she lets out a WAIL of total anguish and despair -- she struggles with Max and Lorenzo as they try to restrain her.
KRISTEN
NOOOOOOOO!
WIDER
Simms is standing by, watching the struggle.
KRISTEN (cont.)
You can't send them away! You can't!
They're all we have!
SIMMS
They weren't helping you, Kristen.
You're a sick girl. You can only get
better if you trust me now.
Kristen is fighting like a wildcat -- momentum carries her and the orderlies into the nurse's desk and sends them sprawling in a shower of desktop items.
She hurls a heavy stapler in Simms' direction before Max and Lorenzo grab her again -- they manage to pin her arms, but barely.
THE KIDS
are peering fearfully up the hall at the spectacle.
FAVORING SIMMS
SIMMS
Get her to the Quiet Room and sedate
her!
Kristen is dragged down the hall, fighting and kicking every inch of the way.
KRISTEN
(screeming)
YOU STUPID BITCH! YOU'RE KILLING US!
KILLING US!
CUT TO:
EXT. LITTLE NEMO'S TAVERN - NIGHT
"Tavern" is too nice a word -- it is a dive bar with a flickering neon sign on the worst side of town.
INT. LITTLE NEMO'S
The sort of place you wind up when you have no place left to go.
A dark, grubby figure sits in the deep foreground nursing a beer and staring at nothing. His unshaven face is hard and bitter, haunted by old sorrows. He wears a sodden, rumpled nightwatchman's uniform.
NANCY (O.S.)
Hello Father.
DONALD THOMPSON looks up slowly from his beer.
WIDER ANGLE
Nancy stands nearby with Neil. Thompson smiles wanly.
THOMPSON
Well, if it isn't my little girl...
come to visit her Daddy.
NANCY
It's been a long time.
THOMPSON
Yeah, but here you are. How'd I get so
lucky? I thought you were trying to
forget I was alive.
NANCY
That's not true. You're the one who's
trying to forget.
She sits across from him. Neil hovers at her side.
NANCY (cont.)
I need your help. Krueger's back.
THOMPSON
(chuckles)
Fred Krueger's dead. You always had a
little trouble understanding that,
Princess.
NANCY
You know what he did. He's doing it
again.
NEIL
She's telling the truth.
Thompson's eye flick up at Neil.
THOMPSON
(low, dangerous)
I don't recall as we ever met, friend.
And I don't believe this is any of
your goddamn business.
Neil is taken aback for a moment -- he's about to retort, but Nancy silences him with a look. She leans in to her father.
NANCY
I think we can stop him this time.
Stop him for good. But we need to
know where the bones were hidden.
THOMPSON
(slow, measured)
I lost too much over this already. I'm
through with it.
NANCY
People are still dying. After all this
time. Stop running away from it.
(no response)
Daddy, please...don't make me beg.
(still no response)
You owe me.
Thompson meets his daughter's gaze, then averts his eyes. He takes a slow draw on his drink.
THOMPSON (cont.)
It's been nice seeing you, baby.
Don't stay away so long next time.
Nancy can't handle another moment -- she bolt from the table as tears come. Neil glares at Thompson and hurries after her.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Neil folllows her to the restroom alcove, where she is trying to pull herself together.
NEIL
Nancy...
NANCY
I'll be okay. Just give me a minute.
He wants to comfort her, but doesn't really have the words. He stands by, looking miserable. His BEEPER GOES OFF. He checks it for the number and crosses to the payphone.
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL TV ROOM - NIGHT
Taryn snatches the payphone off the wall on the first ring. Will and Kincaid are with her.
TARYN
Doctor Goldman?
INT. TAVERN
Neil on the phone, Nancy at his shoulder.
NEIL
Taryn? Is that you? What's the matter?
INT. HOSPITAL
TARYN
You gotta come right away. It's Kristen.
She had a total shit attack when Simms told us you and Nancy got fired.
INT. TAVERN
Neil listens, his face draining of color.
NEIL
Oh Christ.
(to Nancy)
Simms put Kristen in the Quiet Room
for the night. They sedated her.
NANCY
No...
INT. HOSPITAL
TARYN
She's too doped up to stay awake for
long. She's alone in there -- alone!
Freddy's gonna get her!
INT. TAVERN
NEIL
Okay, none of you panic. Just stay
cool. Help's on the way.
He hangs up.
NANCY
We've got to get over there now. We
have to make Sims understand!
He digs out his car keys and holds them out to her.
NEIL
You go.
She stares at him, not understanding.
NEIL (cont.)
I'm gonna get the remains.
NANCY
(indicating her father)
Neil, it's no use. You saw how he is.
NEIL
Just go. Kristen needs you. Keep her
awake somehow.
(Nancy tries to argue)
Do it.
Nancy takes the keys. Their eyes lock for a long, intense moment -- then they share a spontaneous, passionate kiss.
Nancy turns and leaves without another word.
ANGLE ON THOMPSON
He sees his daughter leave, then turns his blank gaze back to his beer.
Neil casually walks over. Thompson ignores him.
NEIL
I'm Neil Goldman. Pleased to meet you.
(beat)
There, we've met.
Suddenly, unexpectedly, Neil lashes viciously out with his foot and kicks the table over -- everything goes flying. Before Thompson can so much as blink, neil hauls him out of his chair and slams him violently against the wall.
TIGHT TWO SHOT
Neil and Thompson, nose to nose. Neil speaks with barely contained rage.
NEIL
(low, tight)
Listen up, asshole. I don't know if
you care whether Nancy lives or dies,
but I do.
(pause)
You and I are going on a little
scavenger hunt.
Thompson stares at Neil, dumbfounded.
CUT TO:
INT. QUIET ROOM - NIGHT
Kristen wanders in aimless circles in the confinement of the small padded room, weeping with despair as she desperately tries to stay on her feet.
KRISTEN
(weakly)
Please God...please...
She stumbles and lurches into the wall, held up by sheer luck alone. She pushes herself away, staggering -- her movements are jerky and uncordinated.
KRISTEN (cont.)
...don't make...me...sleep...
CUT TO:
INT. NEIL'S CAR - NIGHT
nancy at the wheel, steely with determination as she speeds back to the hospital.
CUT TO:
EXT. CHURCH - NIGHT
A small church in a poor neighborhood. Thompson's battered old Dodge grinds to a stop at the curb.
INT. DODGE
THOMPSON
(dourly regards teh church)
What the hell are we doing here?
Neil reaches over, shuts off the ignition, and takes the key. There is a pint bottle of whiskey juting from Thompson's jacket pocket. Neil snatches the bottle before Thompson can react.
THOMPSON (cont.)
Hey!
NEIL
I won't be long.
Neil gets out of the car. he empties the contents of the pint bottle on the pavement as he hurries toward the church.
INT. CHURCH - NIGHT
Three WORSHIPPERS are seated in the pews, seeking comfort in silent prayer. Neil rushes in at the back of the church.
CLOSER - NEIL
sees a small basin of holy water attached to the wall. he submerges Thompson's bottle, filling it with holy water. He caps the bottle, pockets it, then proceeds up the aisle.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Neil comes to a candle shrine. A foot-high crucifix is attached to the wall above it. He grabs the cross and tries to lift it off its mount -- it comes loose with a loud CLANG, a lift it off its mount -- it comes loose with a loud CLANG, a jarring sound in the silent church. Worshippers turn to look.
Feeling comspicuous, Neil turns to find himself facing a PRIEST.
NEIL
Oh. Hello.
PRIEST
What do you think you're doing?
NEIL
Look, I'm sorry, but I need this...
He digs out his wallet. Empty.
NEIL (cont.)
I swear I'll reimburse you. Really.
Here, keep my driver's license. I'll
be back.
Neil hurries out, leaving the baffled priest holding his driver's license.
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL - NIGHT
Nancy enters, hurrying toward the Quiet Room. Max appears, blocking her from the Quiet Room hallway.
NANCY
Max, I have ot see Kristen!
Max shakes his head.
NANCY (cont.)
You don't understand --
The big man holds up his hand for silence.
MAX
Save your breath, Ms. Thompson. Dr.
Simms gave me specific instructions.
Nobody gets to see Kristen -- especially
you. She made that real clear.
NANCY
But Max, she needs me. It could mean
life or death.
Max pauses briefly...and decides to speak his mind.
MAX
(softly)
Look, I think you really mean well...
but my kids been dyin' off. Even if I
didn't have orders from Simms, I wouldn't
let you near her. No way.
Nancy backs down. There's no way she'll get past him.
NANCY
Okay, Max...I understand.
(a plea)
Can I say goodbye to the others?
Max wavers, his emotions getting to him.
MAX
I don't know...
NANCY
It'll be my last chance. Pleese?
It's against his better judgement, but Max finally nods.
MAX
You got five minutes.
NANCY
Thank you.
She heads toward the dorms.
ANOTHER ANGLE
She comes around the corner. Taryn, Will, and Kincaid have been waiting for her, frantic with worry.
TARYN
What'd you do, take the scenic route?
NANCY
Sshhh. No time for that. Come on.
WILL
Where?
NANCY
Our last Group.
CUT TO:
EXT. JUNKYARD - NIGHT
A vast auto junkyard on the outskirts of town. Towering stacks of gutted cars glitter in the moonlight like the crusty bones of some long ago dinosaur graveyard. It is an awesome, twisting maze.
Thompson's Dodge pulls up to the gate. The headlights reveal a faded sign on the tall chain link fence: "PENNY BROS. AUTO SALVAGE."
THOMPSON
In there. Charlie Penny owns the place.
We knew no one would ever find it. I'm
not even sure I can find it again.
NEIL
How do we get in?
THOMPSON
They used to keep a spare key.
EXT. CAR
Thompson steps out and crosses to teh wood stat structure that serves as the junkyard's office and reaches under the porch.
CLOSER - THE GATE
Thompson steps into the headlight beams and unlocks teh rusted padlock.
Suddenly, a vicious junkyard dog shoots up into frame, barking and slavering just inches from his face, rattling the chain link fence.
THOMPSON
(unruffled)
Hey, Jesse James. Don't you remember
me, boy?
He swings the gate open and offers an open hand to the dog. Jesse sniffs the hand suspiciously, then wags his tail.
THOMPSON (cont.)
That a boy.
He turns, motioning to Neil to bring the car through. Neil scoots to the driver's side.
WIDER ANGLE
Neil pulls the car in and stops at the mouth of the maze. Thompson secures the gate.
INT. CAR
Thompson gets back in on the passenger side. Neil is suddenly playing chauffer.
THOMPSON
All right. It's deep in the heart of this
place. Take it slow.
Neil eases on the gas.
CUT TO:
INT. GROUP THERAPY ROOM - NIGHT
Nancy closes the door and turns to the kids. They look to her, waiting.
NANCY
Okay, straight talk only in here.
TARYN
What about Kristen?
NANCY
We can't get to her. I've tried.
She dims the lights and goes to the pendulum device.
NANCY (cont.)
I was hoping we'd have more time to
learn how to use the dreams...
(beat)
But Joey's in there. And Kristen's
going in with or without us. They need
us.
WILL
You mean we're gonna try to go in with
her? To link up?
NANCY
It's now or never. I won't kid you.
This is as dangerous as it gets. If
you die in the dream, it's for real.
Nobody has to go in that doesn't want
to.
THE KIDS
A long silence. Their faces reflect conflicting emotions. Fear, dread, anticipation. Then, quietly:
WILL
I'm in.
TARYN
Me too.
KINCAID
Let's go kick that motherfucker's ass all
over dreamland.
Her face reflects the same emotions -- but mostly, there is pride in the kids. She turns the pendulum on and sits with them.
NANCY
Now remember -- whatever happens, stay
together. That's the only way we can
beat him.
THE GROUP
Staring intensely at the pendulum.
NANCY
(softly)
Clear your minds...of everything.
CUT TO:
EXT. AUTO GRAVEYARD - NIGHT
Thompson's car pulls slowly around a tight corner and stos in what amounts to a small clearing deep in the labyrinth of stacked autos.
Thompson and Neil get out, the weak headlights of teh old Dodge illminating the towering heaps of rusted metal surrounding them. Thompson peers around, then points.
THOMPSON
That's it. The Caddy.
ANOTHER ANGLE
The rear end of a ravaged 59 Cadillac sticks out from beneath a huge stack of automotive carcasses, its rusted tailfins jutting like the spines of some prehistoric beast.
Neil crosses to the car and runs his hands over the corroded surface of the trunk. He tries to lift it, but it's locked tight.
THOMPSON
stands beside the Dodge. He takes a swig from a pint bottle and glances around into the darkness nervously.
NEIL
finds a large four-pronged tire iron -- three ends for lug nuts, the other end a sharp wedge. He jams it under teh trunk lid and applies pressure.
CLOSEUP - THOMPSON
observing nervously.
NEIL
leans his head closer to the trunk as he strains against the tire iron.
CLOSEUP - THE LOCK
explodes in a cloud of rust.
CLOSEUP - NEIL
Gazing in. PAN TO an ancient, crusty burlap sack lying in the shadows of the trunk.
INT. THOMPSON'S DODGE
Thompson silently eases behind the wheel of his Dodge, careful not to draw Neil's attention. he's going to get the hell out of
here --
-- but there are no keys in the ignition. Thompson looks up, glaring at Neil through the windshield.
EXT. DODGE
Neil holds up Thompson's keys.
NEIL
Going somewhere?
Thompson gets out of the car.
THOMPSON
I showed you where the goddamn thing was.
I didn't say I'd stick around.
Neil tosses Thompson a shovel.
NEIL
We've got work to do.
THOMPSON
What are you talking about?
NEIL
You're about to attend a funeral. One
that's long overdue.
CUT TO:
INT. GROUP THERAPY ROOM - NIGHT
Nancy and the kids are staring at the pendulum, faces slack. Nancy's voice is a soft hush. They are being lulled into the dream state.
NANCY
Picture yourselves in the Quiet Room...
the soft white walls...the total
silence...just the sound of your
hearts beating. Picture yourself
there...with Kristen.
(beat)
I'm going to count backwards from five.
And when I'm done, we'll all be
asleep...we'll all be in the Quiet Room.
CUT TO:
INT. QUIET ROOM - NIGHT
Kristen is slumped in a corner, face against the wall, totally incoherent now. There is no more fight left in her. She is fading...fading...
KRISTEN
(a bare whisper)
Nancy...
CUT TO:
INT. GROUP ROOM - CLOSEUP NANCY
NANCY (cont.)
Five...
CLOSEUP - WILL
NANCY (cont. O.S.)
Four...
CLOSEUP - TARYN
NANCY (cont. O.S.)
Three...
CLOSEUP - KINCAID
NANCY (cont. O.S.)
Two...
CLOSEUP - KRISTEN
NANCY (cont. O.S.)
One.
Kristen's eyes flutter open.
KRISTEN
Nancy?
WIDER ANGLE
Nancy and the others are now in the Wuiet Room with Kristen. Kristen looks around, crying and happy that her friends are here. She hugs them in turn -- a sweet, teary reunion.
KRISTEN (cont.)
I knew you'd come.
NANCY
You didn't think we'd let you go alone?
KINCAID
No fuckin' way. We're a team.
KRISTEN
Joey needs us. I can feel him.
NANCY
How do we find him, Kristen?
THE WALL
Four huge razors slash through the canvas -- RIIIIIIP! Cotton padding flies.
THE GROUP
reacts as teh razors vanish -- then RIP from the wall directly behind them. Everyone moves to the center of the room.
NANCY
Whatever happens, stay together!
VARIOUS ANGLES
Cotton padding billows through the air as the razors slash through the wall again and again -- from in front, from behind, from the side, from the floor, from everywhere.
The Quiet room becomes a white void of ripping and slashing -- a vicious blizzard of whirling padding.
WILL
The blades lash out from the billowing clouds of cotton. He's forced back.
TARYN
screams as the blades flash by her.
NANCY
NANCY
(shielding her eyes)
HOLD HANDS! FIND EACH OTHER!
KRISTEN
Screaming, panicking, spun around in the blizzard. Lost.
KRISTEN
NANCY!
CLOSEUP - KRISTEN
The blizzard of cotton padding dissipates and slowly vanishes. Kristen looks up a dream.
ANGLE WIDENS SLOWLY OUT to reveal Kristen sitting at her drafting table in her bedroom at home. The crude paper mache Elm Street House model is in front of her, still under construction. Warren Zevon's "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead" still blares from the radio.
Nothing has changed. She's still home. Safe. She wonders if all of it, everything, has been nothing but a bad dream.
Her mother enters, dressed in the same beautiful evening gown, and snaps the radio off.
ELAINE
Honey, you'll wake the whole neighborhood!
KRISTEN
(bleary-eyed)
Mom?
ELAINE
What are you still doing up? It's past
one.
KRISTEN
I thought I'd wait for you.
ELAINE
(touched)
Well, I'm home now, so you can go right
to sleep. C'mon, angel.
She turns down teh covers. Kristen crawls onto the bed and throws her arms around Elaine's neck in a spontaneous hug.
ELAINE (cont.)
What's that for?
KRISTEN
I'm just glad you're home.
Elaine gives her a kiss and tucks her in. She goes to teh door and reaches for the lightswitch.
KRISTEN (cont.)
Mom?
ELAINE
(pauses in doorway)
What?
KRISTEN
I had such an awful dream.
A MAN'S VOICE comes from downstairs:
MAN (O.S.)
Elaine? Where do you keep the bourbon?
ELAINE
I'll be right down.
(to Kristen)
Kris, I've got a guest.
KRISTEN
Can we talk? Just for a minute?
ELAINE
Can't it wait till morning?
KRISTEN
Please Mom? I just don't want to be
alone.
Suddenly, Elaine is violently yanked out the door, revealing:
FREDDY
framed in the doorway, wearing immaculate formal wear, screaming at Elaine (she's off camera).
FREDDY
BITCH! I SAID WHERE'S THE FUCKING
BOURBON!
He sweeps his razors down at her.
KRISTEN
SCREMING in bed.
FREDDY
Grinning insanely, he leans into the room, holding Elaine's decapitated head up for Kristen.
FREDDY
You should listen to your mother,
Kristen.
CLOSEUP - ELAINE'S HEAD
Dangling in Freddy's grasp, blood dripping from the neck, it jabbers at Kristen in a glassy-eyed harangue.
ELAINE'S HEAD
Gaddamn it Kristen, you always ruin
everything! Every time I have a man
over you spoil it! You know what
your shrink said! You're only trying
to get attention!
KRISTEN
screaming and screaming.
FREDDY
drops the head and lunges at her, claws swiping the air.
KRISTEN
rolls out of bed as Freddy's claws tear her pillow open in an explosion of feathers.
WIDER
Kristen turns and runs, Freddy right on her heels, his finger blades mere inches from her back.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Kristen's momentum takes her right up the wall -- she pushes off in an incredible gymnast's flip, hurtling up in an arc back over Freddy's head -- Freddy hits the wall, his finger-razors burying deep in the plaster.
KRISTEN
makes a perfect landing near her bed and snatches up her bedspread.
FREDDY
howls with rags and yanks his razors from the wall in an explosion of plaster. he whirls and dives at Kristen --
-- as she flings the bedspread over him. He tangles up, going down hard, thrashing to get free.
KRISTEN
hurtles herself out the window in an explosion of glass.
FREDDY
Ripping and slashing, he wrestles the bedspread off and hurls it away in tatters. He looks aroudn, howling with rage.
CUT TO:
INT. ELM STREET HOUSE - NIGHT
Kristen EXPLODES through a skylight in the living room ceiling and drops to teh floor in a rain of glass. Bruised and battered, she rises to her feet and looks around. Lost. Alone.
KRISTEN
(calling out)
Nancy!
CUT TO:
INT. ELM STREET HALLWAY - NIGHT
Whirling cotton fills the screen...dissipating to reveal Taryn in her full dream warrior splendor, platinum crest of hair shimmering. She finds herself in a twisting hallway in teh dreamscape -- and hears KRISTEN'S FAINT CALL.
TARYN
(calling out)
Kristen? Is that you?
She hurries up a passageway and turns a corner.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Freddy leaps from the darkness, blades flashing.
Taryn nimbly dodges and whirls, producing two large gravity knives. She click-clacks them open, twirling them expertly.
TARYN
Okay asshole. Let's dance.
Freddy gives her an evil smile and squares off against her.
They circle each otehr slowly...then Freddy lashes out.
Taryn ducks and cuts deeply across Freddy's ribs.
Freddy SCREAMS with anger and swipes twice more, ripping deep gouges in Taryn's shoulder.
Taryn draws back, keeping her guard up. She feints, then strikes out, slashing Freddy again.
This time Freddy draws back.
FREDDY
Taryn...why should we fight? You and
I are old friends.
Taryn stands poised, ready for anything.
CLOSEUP - FREDDY
FREDDY
(grinning)
Let's get high.
He raises his hands into frame -- his fingerhave all turned into oversized hypodermic neeles, their needle-sharp tips glittering in the darkness.
TARYN
Revolted by teh weird display. She looks down, feeling something strange.
CLOSEUP - TARYN'S ARMS
Her needle track scars are expanding and contracting like tiny sucking mouths...hungry...
WIDER
The instant her guard is down, Freddy lunges at her and buries both sets of hypodermic fingers into her arms, pinning her to the wall. Taryn SCREAMS.
CLOSEUP - HYPO FINGERS
As their inner plunges depress, Taryn's biceps swell grotesquely, veins bulging impossibly.
TARYN
We can actually see the high-pressure fluid travel upward as her veins and body balloon, racing from her arms -- her neck swells -- temples expand -- eyeballs bulge --
Then the top of her head literally exploded.
CLOSEUP - FREDDY
FREDDY
What a rush.
CUT TO:
INT. ELM STREET BASEMENT - NIGHT
MOVING WITH Will -- he holds a torch high in one hand, a saber in the other. He looks like a thin pirate out of a Dungeons and Dragons game.
WILL
(calling out)
Hello? You guys, where are you?
He heas a SOUND somewhere in the darkness ahead. He pauses...nothing. Suddenly, there's a SOUND OF SCREECHING METAL and a strange object comes racing out of the darkness at him. He lunges out of the way.
THE OBJECT
screeches to a halt and wheels about. It's an oversiezed, nightmarish version of Will's wheelchair -- made of rusty, twisted metal and bristling with spikes and hooks. To sit in it would be agonizing death.
FREDDY (O.S.)
You look tired, Will. Have a seat.
REVERSE ANGLE
Will whirls about to see Freddy leaning nonchalantly against a pillar.
WILL
(shaken)
No thanks. I'm fine just the way I am.
FREDDY
For now. But when you wake up...
(singing)
...you're back in the saddle again.
Will is visibly upset by this -- and reacts too slowly as the wheelchair bears down on him again.
WILL
is sideswiped and knocked to the ground, his leg bleeding.
THE CHAIR
spins around, preparing for another run.
FREDDY
FREDDY
It's the chair for you, kid.
THE CHAIR
The wheels smoke, burning rubber as it launches itself at Will.
CLOSEUP - WILL
WILL
(softly, to himself)
I'm the Dungeonmaster...the Dungeonmaster...
WIDER
Will suddenly levitates to his feet. A wizard's robe swirls about him as crackling electricity plays across his fingertips, just like the illustration on the Dungeonmaster game card.
LOW ANGLE
The wheelchair ROARS over camera.
WILL
Green lightning explodes from his fingertips and shatters the wheelchair into fragments.
FREDDY
reacts in surprise.
WILL
looks up at Freddy, grinning with his newfound power. The dancing lights emanating from his fingers cast a weird glow across his face.
WILL
In the name of Elric, Prince of Elves --
demon begone!
WIDER
Will rushes at Freddy, shooting wizard's fire. The crackling green energy engulfs Freddy completely --
-- but Freddy grabs Will by the front of his shirt and lifts him off the ground.
CLOSER
Freddy snarls into Will's face as the living energy twines around him.
FREDDY
Sorry kid. I don't believe in fairy
tales.
Freddy buries his claws in Will's chest -- the blades points jut out of Will's back as his death cry ECHOES down teh halls.
CUT TO:
INT. ELM STREET HOUSE - NIGHT
Kristen wanders through the twisting distorted hallways of the dreamscape. She hears Will's SCREAM echo and fade away.
KRISTEN
HELLO? ANYBODY?
NANCY'S VOICE
(faint, faraway)
Kristen?
She turns a corner and sees Nancy at the end of a hallway.
KRISTEN (cont.)
Nancy!
They rush toward each other -- but stop as they hear a strange CRUNCHING SOUND.
KRISTEN
What's that?
NANCY
I don't know.
The SOUND comes again -- a horrible CRACKING AND SNAPPING. The wall begins to spiderweb with cracks as it bulges outward. Something big seems to be trying to press through to cut them off from each other. Nancy and Kristen back away warily.
Suddenly, there is an EXPLOSION of wood and plaster -- and Kincaid steps through.
KINCAID
(grinning)
Yo. I thought I heard voices.
Nancy and Kristen yell with delight. Kristen throws her arms around him.
KRISTEN
Kincaid! I could kiss you!
KINCAID
What's stopping you?
Kristen is taken aback for a moment -- then gives him a chaste but sincere kiss on the mouth. He grins.
KINCAID
Cool. So where's Joey?
KRISTEN
I don't know. It's like a maze in here.
KINCAID
Then it's time to stop guessin' and
start messin'.
(hollering)
FREDDY! WHERE YOU HIDING, YOU PUSSY?
NANCY
Kincaid -- we should find the others
first...
KINCAID
YOU'RE HOT STIT WITH A LITTLE MUTE KID --
LET'S SEE YOU TAKE A PIECE OF ME!
(silence)
KRUEGER!
Still no response.
KINCAID (cont.)
(muttering)
I knew he was chickensh--
Suddenly, the lights around them flinker and dim. They hear a DEEP, REVERBERATING GROAN OF METAL. All look over the railing.
OVER THE SHOULDER
as they peer downward. Where before there was nothing, there are now two huge, rusty boiler room doors slowly swinging open like the entrance to Hell. Orange light flickers from below.
KINCAID
Still finishing his prior statement.
KINCAID
-- shhhiiiiit.
ANOTHER ANGLE
The tree slowly descend teh stairs, all bravado lost. They stop before the immense gate. Within lies flickering darkness and twisting steps leading down.
NANCY
This is it. Are you ready?
Kristen nods.
KINCAID
Let's snuff the fucker.
They descend.
INT. BOILER ROOM - ENTRANCE
Nancy, Kristen, and Kincaid cautiously come down the winding stairs and pass under an arch way made of twisted, scorched tricycles and shattered dolls.
They exchange worried looks, then step through.
MASTER
A surrealistic boiler room, air red with heat and haze.
Freddy sits on a throne made of children's skulls and bones.
Joey is nearby, suspended over the pit of flames like a weird altar.
Welcome to Freddy Hell.
FREDDY
FREDDY
(low gutteral chuckle)
Look Joey...all the little piggies have
come home.
JOEY
He turns his terrified, pleading eyes toward his friends. His skin is hot and blistered. The tongues that lash his hands and feet to the four posts are writhing slowly, licking his ankles and wrists. He opens his mouth in a mute, silent scream.
NANCY, KRISTEN, KINCAID
KRISTEN
(softly)
Joey...
Nancy steps forward.
NANCY
Let him go.
THE THRONE
Freddy sweeps his hands, the obedient servant.
FREDDY
Your wish is my command.
He makes a gesture.
JOEY
The tongue/creature securing his left wrist unravels -- he drops precariously. The other tongues begin to loosen their hold.
NANCY
lunges to the edge of the pit, reaching for Joey.
FREDDY
laughs maniacally.
THE PIT
The last tongues give way and Joey drops --
-- just as Nancy snatches his wrist and hangs on. Kincaid grabs Nancy by the belt and hauls them both back out.
KRISTEN
With a cry, she runs and does a double flip over the burning
pit -- right at Freddy.
THE THRONE
Kristen snap-kicks right into Freddy's face, toppling him and the throne backwards.
KINCAID
strains as he rips a six-foot section of pipe from the wall and races toward the throne.
NANCY
helps Joey to his feet just as a tongue/creature flies out of the darkness and whips around her neck, strangling her.
FREDDY
rises from the rubble of his throne and lashes at Kristen. She flips over his head -- but Freddy backhands her, sending her spinning across the room.
NANCY
Clutching one end of the writhing tongue, she forces it to the ground. She grabs a furnace poker and skewers the creature. It instantly unravels from her neck.
THE FALLEN THRONE
As Freddy prepares to slash Kristen, Kincaid races in, swinging his pipe in a wide arc. It smashes across Freddy's back, driving him to his knees.
Kincaid raises the pipe for a second blow, but Freddy leaps up with a ROAR and grabs Kincaid, hauling him high over his head.
Nancy rushes in just as Freddy's arms are extended and plunges the poker into his heart.
Everyone freezes.
FREDDY
looks down at the poker with an exaggerated gasp -- then flashes a grin at Nancy.
NANCY
reacts in horror.
FREDDY
releases Kincaid's feet and holds him dangling by the throat.
With his free hand, he pulls the poker slowly from his chest. He looks at the tip -- it glistens with dark, rancid gore. He licks it like an ice cream cone.
NANCY AND KRISTEN
Kristen rises, using Nancy for support.
KRISTEN
Nancy!
NANCY
He's too strong! He was never this
strong!
FREDDY
whirls to her, Kincaid still choking in his upraised fist.
FREDDY
(hissing)
Yesss! The souls of the children...
He rips his shirt open, revealing his hideously scarred body.
FREDDY (cont.)
...they make me stronger.
His flesh begins to undulate and swell.
TIGHT ON FREDDY'S TORSO
Rippling blisters appear, forming into faces -- horrible, tortured faces wailing in despair. We recognize Phillip ... Jennifer ...
Will ... Taryn ...
NANCY AND KRISTEN
Total horror and revulsion.
CLOSEUP - FREDDY
An insane, gleeful grin -- and a gutteral whisper:
FREDDY
Always room for more.
CUT TO:
EXT. AUTO GRAVEYARD - TRUNK OF '59 CADILLAC - NIGHT
The burlap sack is lifted out.
TIGHT ON BURLAP SACK
as neil drops it beside a freshly dug grave. Freddy's bones clatter.
CUT TO:
INT. BOILER ROOM - NIGHT
Freddy flinches in pain -- he looks up in fear, suddenly aware that somebody's disturved his bones. His fear is slowly replaced by an evil, cunning grin.
He vanishes -- Kincaid finds himself struggling and choking in mid-air. He drops to the ground, gasping for breath.
CUT TO:
EXT. AUTO GRAVEYARD - NIGHT
Thompson crawls from the shallow grave and throws the shovel aside.
THOMPSON
What the hell good is this supposed to
do?
Ignoring him, Neil picks up the tire iron and holds it up.
NEIL
This will be our headstone.
He jams the tire iron into the ground at the foot of the grave. It looks like a cross.
THOMPSON
(hears something)
What was that?
NEIL
What?
THOMPSON
Listen.
Neil now hears the FAINT SOUND OF ROCK MUSIC on the night breeze.
NEIL
Somebody else is out here.
THOMPSON
No. We're alone.
Another song snaps to life -- closer to them. The Rolling Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil."
INT. WRECKED CHEVY
We can see Neil and Thompson through the cracked windshield of the rusted-out Chevy. The radio suddenly lights up, blaring another rock song.
NEIL AND THOMPSON
More MUSIC comes from all around them, blasting from teh radios of long-dead autos, a cacophony of rock songs from the 50's and 60's. We hear the HOWLING of Wolfman Jack.
THE CARS - VARIOUS ANGLES
Broken headlights sputter to life. A windshield wiper near Thompson slaps madly back and forth across shattered glass. Horns honk. An exposed fan blade WHIRRS like a buzzsaw.
NEIL AND THOMPSON
THOMPSON
(hoarse whisper)
The whole place is coming to life...
Both men turn to look at the burlap sack. There is a slight stirring from within.
Neil hurries over and grabs the sack to throw it into the grave.
THE SACK
Suddenly, a skeletal hand wearing finger-razors tears through the rotted burlap and latches onto Neil's wrist.
The sack rips wide open as Freddy's charred bones leap into
life -- a hideous shambling skeleton SCREAMING with unearthly rage.
THOMPSON
Frozen to the spot. Can't believe his eyes.
NEIL
falls back, scrambling away as Freddy's blades slash the air inches in front of his face.
WIDER
Suddenly, Jesse the junkyard dog hurtles out of the darkness onto the hellish thing's back, biting and snapping.
The skeleton pulls the dog from its back, slashes its throat in one quick motion, and tosses the carcass aside.
THOMPSON
Something snaps in him as he glares at the skeleton.
THOMPSON
It's really you.
CLOSEUP - SKELETON
It turns and grins hideously at Thompson.
THOMPSON
grabs a piece of pipe and rushes the monster.
THOMPSON
I'll send you back to Hell here you
belong!
THE CREATURE
meets Thompson's rush head on, blocking the pipe and yanking him off his feet.
It hurls Thompson through the air with incredible force.
THE CADILLAC
Thompson slams into it, impaled on the tail fin. He looks down at the metal point jutting from his chest...and dies.
NEIL
grabs the shovel and swings it -- the skeleton ducks and slashes Neil's ribs, ripping his shirt wide open.
As Neil doubles over, the skeleton rips the shovel from his hands and smashes it solidly against his head. Before Neil can crumple, the creature straightens him up with a second vicious blow -- we hear BONE CRACK. Neil falls back into the grave.
The skeleton shrieks with unholy laughter and begins to shovel the loose dirt onto Neil.
It tosses the shovel aside, raises its arms into the air with a victorious HOWL -- and collapses into a pile of bones.
CUT TO:
INT. ELM STREET HOUSE - NIGHT
Nancy, Kristen, Kincaid, and Joey exit the boiler room, limping, battered, and bloody. They face the weird perspectives of the Elm Street halls.
NANCY
Kristen, can you pull us out?
KRISTEN
They sedated me. We're stuck here till
it wears off.
NANCY
Let's try this way.
They start down a corridor and enter:
INT. SEWING ROOM
Eerie mannikins and an ornate three-way mirror stand in teh shadows.
KRISTEN
It's a dead end.
Suddenly, there's activity in the mirror. A wavering light...then Freddy materializes. An infinity of Freddies are reflected in the three-way mirror behind him.
FREDDY
Sorry to keep you waiting. Perhaps if
there were more of me to spread around.
Freddy runs into the room, magically followed by rows of his mirror reflections.
KINCAID
Holy shit! He's multiplying!
The room is suddenly filled with dozens of Freddies slashing and chasing our heroes.
NANCY
leaps over a wicker basket to escape a Freddy. As a second Freddy lunges, she jams a knitting needle through its throat.
KRISTEN
springs over a group of Freddies, catches a wall fixture, and flips across the room.
KINCAID
With a battle cry, he plows into the charging Freddies, bowling them over.
JOEY
cringes back, cowering behind the mannikins.
THE MIRROR
More Freddies pouring into the room.
NANCY
is backed into a corner, torn with slash marks.
KRISTEN
delivering flying kicks, but slowing down. A Freddy grabs her from behind, holding her for the others.
KINCAID
goes down under the sheer weight of Freddies crawling all over him, slashing. There are jsut too many.
JOEY
steps out from behind teh mannikins, shaking with emotion as his friends are overwhelmed -- none of them can last more that a few seconds longer. He opens his mouth and --
CLOSEUP - JOEY
JOEY
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
An incridible, deafening, universe-shaking cry. Joey has found his dream power.
THE THREE-WAY MIRROR
is blown into fragments.
VARIOUS ANGLES
All the Freddies EXPLODING into shards of hurtling glass as nancy, Kristen, and Kincaied cover their ears.
JOEY
finally stops. Total silence. He looks just as surprised as everyone else at what he's done.
JOEY
(softly)
Wow.
(does a double take
at his own voice)
Did I say that?
KINCAID
You sure as shit did! You saved our
asses!
KRISTEN
He's gone! We got him!
Kincaid scoops Joey into his arms in a crushing bear hug.
JOEY
Hey man, put me down!
CUT TO:
EXT. JUNKYARD - NIGHT
TIGHT ON the open grave. A bloody, dirt-encrusted hand grasps the edge of teh grave. A second hand follows. Neil Goldman slowly, painfully pulls himself out of the grave.
He has an ugly wound on the side of his head and his collarbone's broken -- but he's alive.
Gasping with pain, Neil crawls to the pile of Freddy's remains. With tremendous effort, he pushes hte bones over the edge into the grave.
CLOSEUP - GRAVE
The bones tumble into the earthen pit.
CUT TO:
INT. SEWING ROOM - NIGHT
Kristen helps Nancy to her feet as she brushes away the shattered glass of the Freddies.
KRISTEN
Are you okay?
NANCY
I think so.
They embrace tearfully.
NANCY
(softly)
It's over. It's over.
THOMPSON (O.S.)
Nancy...
Nancy turns and sees her father floating toward her, glowing in a golden nimbus of light.
NANCY
Daddy?
THOMPSON (cont.)
I've crossed over, Princess.
NANCY
Crossed over?
THOMPSON
But I couldn't go until I told you how
sorry I am for all the things I've done.
Nancy gazes at him, slowly comprehending.
THOMPSON (cont.)
I love you so much. I'll always love
you. Goodbye, Princess.
Nancy goes to embrace ehr father one final time.
NANCY
I'll always love you, Dadd --
Her words are cut short as her body jerks violently.
ANOTHER ANGLE - TIGHT
"Thompson" is wearing Freddy's glove -- the razors buried in Nancy's stomach.
CLOSEUP - NANCY
Her eyes wide and staring as she realizes.
NANCY
(weakly)
No.
CLOSEUP - FREDDY/THOMPSON
As Thompson's face disappears and is replaced by Freddy's.
FREDDY
Die, bitch.
He jams the blades in deeper.
CUT TO:
EXT - JUNKYARD - NIGHT
CLOSEUP ON Neil -- using his one good hand, he grasps the bottle of holy water and uncorks it with his teeth. He presses it to his forehead and closes his eyes.
NEIL
(hoarse whisper)
Please God. For the children. For
Nancy.
He looks down at Freddy's remains.
NEIL (cont.)
Ashes to ashes.
He flicks a stream of holy water onto the bones.
CUT TO:
INT. SEWING ROOM - NIGHT
Freddy, still locked in an embrace with Nancy as she dies, SCREAMS as a pattern of holes rip across his body -- bright shafts of light burst through.
CUT TO:
EXT. JUNKYARD - NIGHT
NEIL
Dust to dust.
He flicks a second stream of water.
CUT TO:
INT. SEWING ROOM - NIGHT
Another arc of holes explode across Freddy's body. He arches back, SHRIEKING --
-- and Nancy slides of his blades. Kristen runs to her.
CUT TO:
EXT - JUNKYARD - NIGHT
Neil holds the crucifix. He leans down and presses it against the skull.
NEIL
Lay this spirit to rest.
CUT TO:
INT. SEWING ROOM - CLOSEUP FREDDY
A cross-shaped hole explodes from Freddy's forehead -- brilliant, blinding white light pours out.
WIDER
As Freddy staggers back, riddled with glowing holes, we see a whrilwind of spirit faces pouring from him -- sould of his victims soaring out, freed at last.
KINCAID AND JOEY
Awestruck as they watch.
FREDDY
The holes expand, eating Freddy alive as his SCREAM ECHOES across the dreamscape.
The shafts of light from his body merge into one white hot ball -- then EXPLODES.
Freddy is gone.
KRISTEN
cradles Nancy in her arms. nancy is drifting toward death.
KRISTEN
(crying)
He's gone. It's over. Please don't
die, Nancy. Please.
NANCY
(weak)
I'm so proud of you all.
(pause)
Tell Neil I...
She sags against Kristen. Kristen shakes her head, tears brimming.
KRISTEN
I won't let you die. i won't.
(lower, strange intensity)
I'm going to dream you...
(whispering in Nancy's ear)
I'm going to dream you into a beautiful
dream. Forever and ever.
She closes her eyes and holds Nancy tight.
SLOW DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. CEMETERY - DUSK
Three caskets are surrounded by a large number of MOURNERS.
CLOSER
Kristen, Joey, and Kincaid watch tearfully. Neil, wearing a neck brace, puts his arm around the kids as the caskets are lowered.
CLOSEUP - NEIL
He notices movement on the hilltop.
NEIL'S POV
The nun stands on the crest of the hill. She turns and walks away, disappearing from view.
NEIL
leaves the funeral and starts up the hillside after her.
HILLTOP
As neil reaches the tree where he first met the nun, he catches a glimpse of her as she dissappears behind a crypt.
NEIL
Sister...wait.
THE CRYPT
Neil rounds the crypt -- the nun has vanished.
Only a simple tombstone stands at this edge of the field.
Neil steps closer.
THE TOMBSTONE
The inscription reads:
Here Lies Amanda Krueger
Her name in Christ,
Sister Mary Helena.
Born 1907 - Died 1968
CLOSEUP - NEIL
NEIL
(softly)
My God. You were his mother.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. NEIL'S HOUSE - NIGHT
The seasons have changed. A blanket of freshly fallen snow covers the house. A VW Rabbit with New York plates is parked in the driveway.
INT. NEIL'S HOUSE
Kristen and Neil have finished a meal together and are sipping wine. Her hair is shorter. Neil looks thinner, a little weary.
NEIL
I'm glad things have worked out for you.
KRISTEN
I think new York was just what I
needed. So many people. I never feel
alone.
NEIL
(smiles)
The city that never sleeps.
(pause)
So what will you do now?
KRISTEN
I don't know. I'm busy with school.
New friends.
(beat)
But I'll never forget the old ones.
NEIL
(raises his glass)
To old friends. And your new dreams.
KRISTEN
To old friends.
CUT TO:
EXT. NEIL'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Neil is at the door, seeing Kristen off.
NEIL
It was great seeing you again. I'm glad
you dropped by.
KRISTEN
(pauses at her car)
Do you still...see each other?
NEIL
(strange little smile)
Yes. I'm going to see her tonight.
Kristen nods. She knew it.
KRISTEN
Will you say hi?
(he smiles that he will)
Good night.
INT. HOUSE
Neil closes the door. He's alone in the empty house. He turns out the lights and trudges slowly upstairs.
CUT TO:
INT. NEIL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Neil in bed, drifting off to sleep. The tight, weary look is gone from his face -- he looks peaceful, contented.
PAN TO the paper mache model of the Elm Street House. It's different now -- clean and pure and inviting. A lovely little place, in fact.
FADE OUT
THE END
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